The Ashes 2023

[baldrick]

Yeah fair enough, I think I'm comparing to the days when he was literally the only one scoring which is unfair

 

[planetgeli]

Broad is my Man of the Series

This was brilliant. Broad said he thought it was an Australian thing "though I might have made that up" and he did it because he knows Marnus is so intense, he notices everything, and he did. And maybe it did put him off.

Broad said he went and celebrated with Smith for some reason. And Smith said "if you do that to me, I'm changing them right back".

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Test cricket is a mad sport. 4 incredibly tight matches, with (likely) 4 results. And 1 totally one-sided mauling, drawn.

 

[Elpenor]

Bit harsh. I think his argument was stronger when the openers were more useless and no. 3 would be in more or less straightaway.

I didn't think much of Crawley until this series, he's contributed crucial runs on a couple of occasions now. Duckett I'm less convinced by (I made a joke yesterday at 11:56 about Duckett getting out soon on my cricket WhatsApp).

But Root hasn't really fired this series has he? He's not been the standout batsman of the team. Pretty much everyone has contributed an innings at some point. I'm glad the days of no one getting a score other than Root & Stokes are behind us tbh.

Anyway, him not liking no. 3 is pretty moot now isn't it. He'll just have to manage.

Maybe. I can only equate it to my own experiences of being on solid team in both sporting and non-sporting environments and IMO he’s putting himself first not the team.

He shouldn’t even need to be asked, he ought to be volunteering to help out his mates.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

It's been a crazy series in many ways between two talented teams with big, and totally contrasting, flaws.

It's a shame this one innings shoot out isn't to decide the ashes. The series and balance of play deserve it.

 

[WhyLikeThis]

This made me chuckle

Here is a list of some of Broad’s non-cricket highs to date. Single-handedly voided the previous series. Invented the away swinger just to get Marnus out. Said the Carey/Bairstow run-out was literally the worst thing he’d ever seen in cricket. Said Zak Crawley clumping a four through the covers in a losing Test match was the greatest Ashes thing he’d ever seen. Spooked Alex Carey. Spooked David Warner. Successfully re-annoyed what seems to be the vast majority of the Australian public.

Vintage Broadhousery from England’s master of Ashes game of non-cricket | Barney Ronay

Stuart Broad had his alpha hat on again as he messed with Marnus Labuschagne’s head then checked Australia’s progress

www.theguardian.com

 

[Cerberus]

Broad’s shithousery - in an increasingly sterile sporting world - has made me laugh…we’ll miss him when he retires.

Waking up to see Vaughan (won’t he learn?) gobbing off about Australia’s woeful batting yesterday. If their slow and ‘woeful’ batting has managed to buy enough time to put energy back into their bowlers leg and England are skittled today, then it won’t be the first time that MV has been made to look a tool

 

[Elpenor]

Woeful batting that chewed up a session more than England managed and scored slightly more runs

 

[Elpenor]

I heard Broad wears a bandana to wind up Steve Smith who hates Guns N Roses

 

[Lord Camomile]

I heard Broad wears a bandana to wind up Steve Smith who hates Guns N Roses

This has the potential to be a new 'Chuck Norris'-style meme

 

[Lord Camomile]

Stuart Broad caused a blackout in New South Wales just as David Warner was about to reach a crucial save point in his favourite video game.

 

[Ted Striker]

So. Fucking. Nervous.

As soon as the second Test was lost we knew that, in our highest expectations, we might get to a chance to be in this position. A shoot-out to draw the series. There's been enough mini-collapses and Aus rallies that I would absolutely take being in our position right now...Whoever wins today 'wins' the Ashes.

FFS. I can't look.

 

[Petcha]

Going at 8.5 an over. Need to speed things up.

 

[The Octagon]

There's the Mitchell Starc we know and love, getting carted round the ground

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Duckett gone, 79-1 (net 67-1). Stokes in at number 3 in Moeen's absence.

 

[Spymaster]

Australia seem to have gone all crap.

 

[strung out]

Piss poor from Stokes, only got a strike rate of 50. He needs to hit out or get out.

/Petcha

 

[Wilf]

Was listening to TMS, just before the lunch break and they had Jim Maxwell and Glen McGrath on, talking about the ball tampering case. They got onto it because some wag had sent McGrath a piece of sandpaper and asked him to get the Aussies to sign it. I think they said something like 'it was proved there was no actual ball tampering and the real problem was the hastily arranged press conference, which was certainly wrong. They shouldn't have rushed into that' - or words to that effect. Did anyone else hear that, have I got it right??? Whatever level of outrage you have over the ball tampering and Smith's part in it, that just doesn't fit the accepted facts. As I remember it, it was planned and the 'leadership group' persuaded the bowler to do it (can't recall his name). But most of all it did happen and was recorded by the TV cameras.

 

[WhyLikeThis]

Looks like Stokes is not interested in hanging around.

 

[QueenOfGoths]

Was listening to TMS, just before the lunch break and they had Jim Maxwell and Glen McGrath on, talking about the ball tampering case. They got onto it because some wag had sent McGrath a piece of sandpaper and asked him to get the Aussies to sign it. I think they said something like 'it was proved there was no actual ball tampering and the real problem was the hastily arranged press conference, which was certainly wrong. They shouldn't have rushed into that' - or words to that effect. Did anyone else hear that, have I got it right??? Whatever level of outrage you have over the ball tampering and Smith's part in it, that just doesn't fit the accepted facts. As I remember it, it was planned and the 'leadership group' persuaded the bowler to do it (can't recall his name). But most of all it did happen and was recorded by the TV cameras.

I heard it but don't know enough about the ball tampering to comment

 

[Ted Striker]

Was listening to TMS, just before the lunch break and they had Jim Maxwell and Glen McGrath on, talking about the ball tampering case. They got onto it because some wag had sent McGrath a piece of sandpaper and asked him to get the Aussies to sign it. I think they said something like 'it was proved there was no actual ball tampering and the real problem was the hastily arranged press conference, which was certainly wrong. They shouldn't have rushed into that' - or words to that effect. Did anyone else hear that, have I got it right??? Whatever level of outrage you have over the ball tampering and Smith's part in it, that just doesn't fit the accepted facts. As I remember it, it was planned and the 'leadership group' persuaded the bowler to do it (can't recall his name). But most of all it did happen and was recorded by the TV cameras.

Yes, I thought it was fairly bonkers too. Especially from a normally level headed McGrath. Seemed to be the only way Aussies can live with themselves is by this revisionist explanation that the real crime was the upper echelons of the CA establishment effectively 'owning up' to the cheating, and not the pre-meditation of the on-pitch leadership team bringing sandpaper on to the pitch, and trying to put it all on young Bancroft.

Fair enough, the press-conferences did so with such (beautiful ) hari-kari drama that it almost did eclipse the nature of the crime (and will be a lesson for any slow-thinking PR teams that consider it a suitable response to any kind of crime/mistake), but the real absurdity is how Starc et al got away scot free acting as if they had no idea the ball they would have intimate knowledge of was being adulterated with sandpaper (even if it wasn't openly discussed within the 4 walls of the dressing room).

But McGrath jumped the shark there.

Fuck him, but it's still up there with the greatest things to happen to English cricket, and more the happier for it having any kind of airtime still

 

[Petcha]

Piss poor from Stokes, only got a strike rate of 50. He needs to hit out or get out.

/Petcha

Looks like he's in his leisurely mode today. Still, a lead of 300-350 by stumps. Bat till lunch tomorrow and bobs ya uncle.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Looks like he's in his leisurely mode today. Still, a lead of 300-350 by stumps. Bat till lunch tomorrow and bobs ya uncle.

Spoken like a person who hasn't checked the weather forecast. Rain from mid afternoon tomorrow, on and off all day Monday.

Need to have Australia batting for an awkward spell this evening, let Broad get Warner (again) before close.

 

[Ted Striker]

What do we reckon, 350? For me - even if it's 300, 400 or whatever, it's how we get there.

300 (legacy England style) is absolutely something to bowl at, but it would be in the context of a morale sapping collapse, which would, of course, spur Aussies on and give them such a boost.

Strange we're not having official word or any chatter on what exactly we're expecting Mo to do for the next couple of days.

Either way it's aA blessing (or curse!) of a Saturday with nothing to do other than overthink the shite out of this game

 

[Petcha]

What do we reckon, 350? For me - even if it's 300, 400 or whatever, it's how we get there.

300 (legacy England style) is absolutely something to bowl at, but it would be in the context of a morale sapping collapse, which would, of course, spur Aussies on and give them such a boost.

Strange we're not having official word or any chatter on what exactly we're expecting Mo to do for the next couple of days.

Either way it's aA blessing (or curse!) of a Saturday with nothing to do other than overthink the shite out of this game

I think it's time to go to beserk if there's weather around for the next two days. Go down swinging with a lead of 350.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

What do we reckon, 350? For me - even if it's 300, 400 or whatever, it's how we get there.

300 (legacy England style) is absolutely something to bowl at, but it would be in the context of a morale sapping collapse, which would, of course, spur Aussies on and give them such a boost.

Strange we're not having official word or any chatter on what exactly we're expecting Mo to do for the next couple of days.

Either way it's aA blessing (or curse!) of a Saturday with nothing to do other than overthink the shite out of this game

350 is Australia batting for 4 full sessions, and I doubt there will be 4 full sessions left in the match.

If we can get 10 overs bowling in, Australia will barely make a dent in the runs but they'll be shitting it about losing wickets.

 

[Ted Striker]

As an aside, there was an interesting point made much earlier today on TMS, in that Cricket is a sport (the only one?) where a professional sportsman has a specific individual role where they are expected to be rubbish (i.e tail enders batting).

I always thought it odd that American Football and Baseball has effectively complete separation (do they in Baseball?) or attacking/defending roles, but actually Cricket is probably the outlier in this regard?

 

[two sheds]

Loving the Phil Tufnell commentary on R5 tms live

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

As an aside, there was an interesting point made much earlier today on TMS, in that Cricket is a sport (the only one?) where a professional sportsman has a specific individual role where they are expected to be rubbish (i.e tail enders batting).

I always thought it odd that American Football and Baseball has effectively complete separation (do they in Baseball?) or attacking/defending roles, but actually Cricket is probably the outlier in this regard?

American football is the outlier, in that their offensive players aren't involved in the defensive plays at all and vice versa.

Cricket is more like football. Players can be so good at one thing (e.g. defending, bowling) that they can be forgiven for being absolute rubbish at another (e.g. shooting, batting), or there's also high value in being quite good at both.

 

[Cerberus]

In 2022 the National League in baseball (the other is the American League & the winners of each play each other in the ahem, ‘World Series) allowed the use of a Designated Hitter, replacing the pitcher. Until then the pitcher in the NL was expected to bat (& did so with the expectation of being shit - tho there were exceptions).

Anyway, I’d like to see England bat all day just to rest the bowlers.