Kirstie Allsopp discussion

[Bahnhof Strasse]

What's wrong with talking to other peoples children in public?

Nothing at all, I'd scan the parent first and if he was some neanderthal monster who I would say nothing to if he was spraying Pepsi at me then I would bite my lip with the kid, otherwise I would politely ask the child to stop.

 

[SpookyFrank]

I don’t suppose you tried speaking to the child and explaining why you would like them to stop? One thing I hated as a child was adults speaking to my parents about me as if I wasn’t present, or a human.

If the child gave a shit about other people it wouldn't have been constantly booting other people in the spine for its own amusement.

e2a: Also the child was Italian. Parents spoke English, child did not, my Italian is limited.

 

[Athos]

I have not met every parent on earth, however I am yet to meet one who doesn't do all they reasonably can to try and stop their child from being a nuisance and who doesn't find travelling with small children an utterly stressful and exhausting experience. It used to bother me to hear small kids kicking off, till I turned 15 and actually gave the whole situation a couple of minutes thought.

I think you're atypically lucky!

Just the other day, I had to ask some parents to tell their kid not to throw stones in the pub garden. This was after about the sixth time he'd done it, with the parents having seen and ignored are least two of the earlier instances! (I'd already asked him to stop, but he ignored me.) They couldn't have cared less what he did, as long as they could ignore him and enjoy themselves. I find it hard to believe they'll be more considerate when travelling.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Did you complain to them? Cause if my kid was kicking the seat in front and no-one seemed bothered I'd let her get on with it.

Read the post you quoted.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I think you're atypically lucky!

Just the other day, I had to ask some parents to tell their kid not to throw stones in the pub garden. This was after about the sixth time he'd done it, with the parents having seen and ignored are least two of the earlier instances! (I'd already asked him to stop, but he ignored me.) They couldn't have cared less what he did, as long as they could ignore him and enjoy themselves. I find it hard to believe they'll be more considerate when travelling.

Jesus, you asked the child to stop and they didn't, you asked the parents to get their child to stop and they just blanked you? What did you do next?

 

[Athos]

Jesus, you asked the child to stop and they didn't, you asked the parents to get their child to stop and they just blanked you? What did you do next?

No, in fairness, they told him to stop after I asked them to (but, given they already knew what he was doing, clearly wouldn't have done anything if I'd not spoken out).

 

[SpookyFrank]

he may be autistic or ADHD- there are plenty of reason why a kid out of his comfortzone may act like this - and it isn't always because he / his parents are bad or incompetent.

Conversely there may be other people on the plane with autism or related conditions such as misphonia, which I myself experience. For many people certain types of loud noises, including wailing children, can be unbearable to the point of causing physical illness. So, particularly in an enclosed space like an aeroplane, the 'just let the kid wail itself out, and everyone else around us will have to deal with it' parenting strategy may not work out very well for other people.

 

[danny la rouge]

my Italian is limited

Dolcemente bambino.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Conversely there may be other people on the plane with autism or related conditions such as misphonia, which I myself experience. For many people certain types of loud noises, including wailing children, can be unbearable to the point of causing physical illness. So, particularly in an enclosed space like an aeroplane, the 'just let the kid wail itself out, and everyone else around us will have to deal with it' parenting strategy may not work out very well for other people.

Isn't misophonia thought to be quite rare and with no cure other than, 'develop coping strategies' ?

 

[SpookyFrank]

Isn't misophonia thought to be quite rare and with no cure other than, 'develop coping strategies' ?

Very common among people with ASD in my experience.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Very common among people with ASD in my experience.

And is there any thing beyond developing strategies to cope with what are very much everyday noises, babies crying, dogs barking etc.?

 

[maomao]

Isn't misophonia thought to be quite rare and with no cure other than, 'develop coping strategies' ?

It's very very common in people with aspergers. Coping strategies and noise cancelling headphones.

 

[SpookyFrank]

And is there any thing beyond developing strategies to cope with what are very much everyday noises, babies crying, dogs barking etc.?

Leave the area. Which, on a plane, clearly not an option.

 

[maomao]

And is there any thing beyond developing strategies to cope with what are very much everyday noises, babies crying, dogs barking etc.?

Tends to be plastic bags and eating noises rather than proper full on loud noises. My wife pouring a glass of water can make me physically sick but I can cope with my daughter screaming the house down.

 

[JimW]

Dolcemente bambino.

You got that off the music score for an old Frankie Valli hit.

 

[danny la rouge]

You got that off the music score for an old Frankie Valli hit.

All my Italian is off music scores or menus. "Pianissimo" would be my next call.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Dolcemente bambino.

I don't see how my getting arrested for attempted noncery is going to help in this situation.

 

[8ball]

It's very very common in people with aspergers. Coping strategies and noise cancelling headphones.

Mine got better over time. Still use a few coping strategies. When something actually dangerous happens I tend to ‘jump’ less than the normals these days because I’m on continuous ‘signal damping’ mode. Dealing with dogs suddenly barking was probably the last thing to still bother me.

Noise cancelling headphones tend to mostly work on low pitched white-ish noise. The kind a lot of people with ASDs (as well as others) actually find kind of soothing.

Edit: i think it’s not misophonia in my case, having read a bit more. Just a mixture of having the gain turned up too high mixed with a kind of malevolent ASMR

 

[SpookyFrank]

Surely that kid's got some mental health issues? Not sure it was fair to film him and put it online.

Not sure it was fair to put him on a plane in the first place.

 

[Athos]

Not sure it was fair to put him on a plane in the first place.

Possibly true, but we don't know the circumstances.

 

[maomao]

Not sure it was fair to put him on a plane in the first place.

How can you say that without knowing why he was travelling? My kids will be on an eleven hour flight to Beijing to see grandparents later this year. Should they have to pass some sort of test before they're allowed to visit their family?

Luckily half the people on the flight will be Chinese so won't have a weird attitude to 30% of the world's population.

 

[Edie]

I’m always absolutely mortified if my kids do anything to disturb other people and told them off a lot and was quite strict. I think in retrospect I was too concerned, and when I see other parents being more relaxed about it now I think that’s better. I remember getting a train when the eldest was a baby, Bristol to Leeds, and sitting in the vestibule the entire way cos I was worried he’d cry

 

[weltweit]

I saw this on twitter compressed it into 140 characters. I knew urban would be more verbose

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I’m always absolutely mortified if my kids do anything to disturb other people and told them off a lot and was quite strict. I think in retrospect I was too concerned, and when I see other parents being more relaxed about it now I think that’s better. I remember getting a train when the eldest was a baby, Bristol to Leeds, and sitting in the vestibule the entire way cos I was worried he’d cry

Heh, we did that on Eurostar when BB1 was around three, had first class tickets given to us but seated around a table of four, the other people were an older couple, bloke was lovely but his wife was daggers, so as soon as the meal was finished we went and sat in the vestibule so as not to upset her journey any further.

 

[Reiabuzz]

I used to fly a lot for work. Our CEO would sit in cattle class and the rest of us would be up in business. She had exactly the same reasons as allsop.. ie, aspiration. not that it mattered. I enjoyed my pedicures, fine wines and and sleep suits, cheers Sandra

Those days are way behind me now though but in hindsight I do actually respect her principles considering how fucking loaded she must have been.

 

[1927]

She's probably a terrible person and everything, but she's right that sitting in a seat for a few hours and watching videos on an iPad or whatever should not be beyond the capabilities of an average 10-year-old. IME, airline passengers that age are often a lot easier and more pleasant to deal with than their entitled parents.

I think the point is why should she burden the airline staff and other passengers with her kids when she sits carefree in the same plane?

 

[kabbes]

I can’t say I particularly feel burdened by sitting next to a 10 year old per se. I feel burdened by bad behaviour, but in my experience that is just as likely to come from a 40 year old.

 

[Yossarian]

I can’t say I particularly feel burdened by sitting next to a 10 year old per se. I feel burdened by bad behaviour, but in my experience that is just as likely to come from a 40 year old.

Yep, I've never been sat next to a drunk and chatty 10-year-old who spent most of the flight pestering the flight attendants.

 

[Magnus McGinty]

Surely the hilarity comes from her kids being in economy which she considers to be beneath herself. When they arrive are the kids dumped at a hostel whilst she books herself into the Hilton?

 

[bemused]

I've never understood the appeal of Allsopp she's like that annoying friend your wife has you secretly hope they full out with each other. Forcing kids to hang out with poor people in the back as a way to build good values? How does that work? Do you absorb being nice to people from the poorer passengers through osmosis?