Kirstie Allsopp discussion

[Jennaonthebeach]

There are definitely posh women in refuges. I've met them.

Of course - i never doubted it for a second. She did also made a claim about domestic violence being a poor people problem too and I know that's not true!

 

[purenarcotic]

Abuse is no less common in middle / upper class families. It just happens behind more expensive curtains.

 

[Thora]

Isn't Newquay where all public school kids go to surf after their exams? I wouldn't trust myself or any blood relatives on a surfboard in big waves.

I think that's Rock.

 

[Serge Forward]

Sorry, Munich to Manchester in the late 1950s

Fuck off.

 

[BusLanes]

Friend had a lot issues trying to arrange a holiday with his 17 year old nephew in North America (one lives in Australia, the other UK so were going to meet in middle) because of hotel rules so I guess that's a thing. Think they gave up in end.

But it's a norms thing. My father and most of his friends at school left at 15-16 and became farm labourers for several years away from home, living in huts. But now that would be quite rare.

 

[Artaxerxes]

Isn't Newquay where all public school kids go to surf after their exams? I wouldn't trust myself or any blood relatives on a surfboard in big waves.

We're going there in a couple of weeks

 

[LakieLady]

There are definitely posh women in refuges. I've met them. One time these burly male coppers came looking for this woman; her husband had sent them. I didn't half feel sorry for her.

That's alarming. Were they just doing a welfare check, or was there a risk that they might disclose her whereabouts?

 

[LakieLady]

I live with a 35 year old and a 25 year old and neither of them know how to empty a bin

My 22 year old niece didn't know how to use the washing machine until her partner showed her when they moved in together a few months ago. She's having a baby in 3 weeks or thereabouts, so she'll get plenty of practice.

I blame the parents though, they've always done everything for her.

 

[Dystopiary]

That's alarming. Were they just doing a welfare check, or was there a risk that they might disclose her whereabouts?

Yeah, like a welfare check - he'd reported her missing because he was ever so concerned. (Coercive control wasn't really recognised as a thing back then.)

I don't think they'd have disclosed her whereabouts - and I say this as someone who doesn't really trust the police - because even if they wanted to or had been bribed, they'd have been potentially putting the woman plus everyone else there in danger, and that'd be too big a thing for them to risk their jobs over.

 

[Looby]

It’s not something that’s really possible practically but refuges really would benefit from relocating regularly. Around here every taxi driver knows where the refuges are, all the neighbours do and word gets around quickly.

They also know where the favoured pick up points are around the houses.

It’s so unsafe for the residents there.

 

[tim]

I don't think loads of 15 year olds go travelling abroad alone with their mates, no. I'd be very surprised if any of the kids from my son's state school did.
Even when I was at school, our post-GCSE trip was to Newquay not abroad.
If you left your 15 year old home alone for a week I wouldn't be surprised at school/neighbours reporting you.

I've just seen the video of your school trip.

 

[trashpony]

It’s not something that’s really possible practically but refuges really would benefit from relocating regularly. Around here every taxi driver knows where the refuges are, all the neighbours do and word gets around quickly.

They also know where the favoured pick up points are around the houses.

It’s so unsafe for the residents there.

Same here. Also the lack of giving a shit about safeguarding is shocking in some places. When I was giving my son’s primary school some free advice once, I was left in the assistant head’s office to wait for her. On the wall was a list of all the children at risk with the names and details of who was and wasn’t allowed to collect them.

ETA I was a parent with a child at the school at the time. I was helping them with some fundraising - not a school governor, not DBS checked.

 

[scifisam]

It’s not something that’s really possible practically but refuges really would benefit from relocating regularly. Around here every taxi driver knows where the refuges are, all the neighbours do and word gets around quickly.

They also know where the favoured pick up points are around the houses.

It’s so unsafe for the residents there.

Yeah. When I was in one as a kid we were told to keep it secret. Because obviously nobody would notice the three terraced houses knocked into one, with massive metal safety doors and bars on the windows - that didn't stand out at all.

 

[two sheds]

I've just seen the video of your school trip.

see DANGEROUS place those residents can get VIOLENT

 

[Lotte]

I've seen people in their late teens/early twenties who have absolutely no sense of independence and its scary. Kids who are over parented, have had everything arranged/organized for them their entire lives, and then don't know how to cope when they're on their own and freak out.

All I ever wanted when I was a kid was to be an adult and do things on my own terms. I'm just glad my parents were similarly minded so I was left to it.

Me too. I'm autistic and it does limit me somewhat but I still managed to cope reasonably well at uni, even after the mental breakdown I had when I was 21. And tbh I would have been so embarrassed if my mum had done everything for me. Going to uni helped me become a lot more independent and it's one reason why I get sick of right-wingers sneering at students, because the alternative was living with my parents and working in some dead end job.

 

[Lotte]

Abuse is no less common in middle / upper class families. It just happens behind more expensive curtains.

Yep, I'm middle-class and my last stepdad was mentally/emotionally abusive to my mum. He didn't hit her but he was one of the reasons why she had a drink problem.

 

[planetgeli]

Abuse is no less common in middle / upper class families. It just happens behind more expensive curtains.

My friend did some home teaching in Singapore. On the wall by the door was a list of rules the children must obey.

Most were pretty offensive. The last one was YOU MUST NEVER CRY.

 

[pbsmooth]

Sorry, Munich to Manchester in the late 1950s

Prick.

 

[King Biscuit Time]

Isn't Newquay where all public school kids go to surf after their exams? I wouldn't trust myself or any blood relatives on a surfboard in big waves.

No sign of anyone even remotely middle class at Sunnyside 'campsite' when I went on a post GCSE piss up weekend there in the mid 90s.

 

[gosub]

My 22 year old niece didn't know how to use the washing machine until her partner showed her when they moved in together a few months ago. She's having a baby in 3 weeks or thereabouts, so she'll get plenty of practice.

I blame the parents though, they've always done everything for her.

I blame gas central heating...you didn't get this sort of molly codulling when chimneys needed sweeping

 

[Serge Forward]

I blame gas central heating...you didn't get this sort of molly codulling when chimneys needed sweeping

I struggle with houses that are permanently warm with central heating. Can't people just put a jumper on if they're sodding cold.

Also, I used to love mending the fire when I was a kid. I was a dab hand at getting the fire going in double quick time and had a real sense of pride about that skill. In hindsight though, I'm amazed I never burnt the house down with the old newspaper trick to make the fire start faster.

Central heating. Pah!