The 2024 UK General Election - news, speculation and updates

[Lord Camomile]

"This was a government that was very, very, very, very, very, very good. Just really, really, really, really, really...."

 

[Sue]

This is comedy gold

Are you not meant to be dignified rather than just slagging off the opposition?

 

[dessiato]

Fuck me! I want to smack this man!

 

[MickiQ]

Does this mean they’ve given up on Rwanda?

No but I would imagine the message will change from "We are going to start shipping them out any day now" to "Re-elect us and we will start shipping them out as soon as we get back into power" I can't see anyone being deported to Rwanda in just 7 weeks, As soon as any flights get booked the next round of legal challenges will start up and it's obvious to me let alone any half decent lawyer that the Rwanda legislation has more holes than the old t-shirts I have in the garage for use as rags.
The merits or morals of the plan aren't relevant there just isn't enough time, expect "Stop The Boats" to be on every Tory leaflet to be pushed through people's doors.

 

[Ted Striker]

Moar tunes

 

[eatmorecheese]

Shades of Guliani at a tyre dealership

 

[Lord Camomile]

Genuinely, is he allowed to campaign in this announcement...?

 

[ElizabethofYork]

The drowned rat goes back to his hole.

 

[Pickman's model]

Fuck me! I want to smack this man!

You'll have the chance while he's on the hustings

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Music's stopped, someone's singing it even louder!

 

[skyscraper101]

They've fired up D:Ream again

 

[Pickman's model]

The drowned rat goes back to his hole.

Fucking hold his face down in a puddle and give him a proper drowning

 

[Lord Camomile]

Holy Jesus, I was only listening, I hadn't seen how fucking drenched he was!

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Genuinely, is he allowed to campaign in this announcement...?

the lectern didn't have the government logo on, so it was a party announcement not a government announcement, apparently

 

[Dog_Voodoo]

According to some civil service people, letters of no confidence had gone in en mass. He’s jumping

 

[Pickman's model]

According to some civil service people, letters of no confidence had gone in en mass. He’s jumping

Why couldn't he have picked somewhere higher then?

 

[Lord Camomile]

Look, I don't want to suggest anything about the existence of any deities, or the sense of humour of any such deities, but all I'm saying is it ain't bloody raining in South-East London.

 

[Sue]

Holy Jesus, I was only listening, I hadn't seen how fucking drenched he was!

Did he melt though? Exactly! A bit of rain never harmed anyone.

 

[Smangus]

According to some civil service people, letters of no confidence had gone in en mass. He’s jumping

How would they know? Only the 22 committee knows how many there are.

 

[brogdale]

Are you not meant to be dignified rather than just slagging off the opposition?

Sounded desperate from the get go.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Shades of Guliani

Sounds like a failed pitch for a hair dye brand.

 

[Lord Camomile]

According to some civil service people, letters of no confidence had gone in en mass. He’s jumping

'e's fookin' drownin', is what he's doing.

 

[Lord Camomile]

Sunak took going down with the ship a little too literally...

 

[Dr. Furface]

What a fucking drip, that was a perfect finale.

 

[Petcha]

That was brilliant. Did nobody bother checking the weather forecast?

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

PeaRoast selekta!

 

[colacubes]

Things can only get wetter.

 

[Orang Utan]

 

[gentlegreen]

Couldn't they rustle-up a gazebo ?

 

[existentialist]

You'll have the chance while he's on the hustings

You reckon? I expect he's got a little countertop fridge he can do a Boris in...