The Ashes 2023

[Zapp Brannigan]

Single innings match, Australia 26/0. Going to be a heavy workload for Broad and Woakes, managing Wood's short sharp bursts without Robinson or Stokes able to bowl. Could see a fair bit of Moeen and Root too.

 

[Tones]

So, basically, England bat with just 7 or 8 wickets each innings. They give the rest away in cross bat swats and similar dossing about.

And have to create 13 or 14 wicket opportunities when bowling because of dropped catches, missed stumpings, and bowling people off no balls.

 

[JimW]

Good start!

 

[The Octagon]

Broad to Warner

17 times, lol

 

[JimW]

Haunts his fever dreams

 

[WhyLikeThis]

Just imagine if Tongue was picked over Robbo

 

[Petcha]

Is Stokes ever not limping?

I mean, he's a fabulous player obvs but do you think he hams it up a bit?

 

[Elpenor]

Not your best effort

 

[WhyLikeThis]

Root brought on with a ball 12 overs old?

 

[pbsmooth]

Australia should and probably will now deliver a masterclass in pre-Bazball test match batting

 

[pbsmooth]

they can't keep picking Bairstow, ridiculous.

 

[strung out]

I wouldn't play Moeen though. He's not a red ball cricketer anymore.

Nailed it.

 

[planetgeli]

Moeen got those wickets exactly how he's got many of his 200 wickets. He looks hittable. So people go after him. Especially when you have Wood trying to kill you from the other end.

 

[skyscraper101]

Some of these BBC updates are a bit superfluous

 

[brogdale]

This, from the Guardian’s live feed, made me chortle

Who cares if Atherton looked disgusted?” sniffs Niall Mullen. “Bazball is pretty sick of experts. Let’s just get cricket done.”

 

[QueenOfGoths]

I can recommend looking at England's day through the eyes of an afternoon beer festival.

It's still shit but your don't really care!

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

England have mucked up so much already in this test, yet it's still so finely poised. Net 142/4 is a good position for the Aussies to be in, but far from game over.

 

[planetgeli]

Head and Marsh will probably do what they did in the 1st innings and that will be that BUT if England do what they did (last 6 wickets for 23) they'll be chasing 166 and...

/end of summer daydream

 

[SpookyFrank]

Mark Wood outscored all but one of England's top order.

In 8 balls.

 

[Joe Chi Min]

Mark Wood outscored all but one of England's top order.

In 8 balls.

That’s fucking shite that

 

[planetgeli]

Marsh gone early. Hopes raised for 10 minutes.

 

[planetgeli]

And Carey.

And Wood hasn't even bowled yet. 139/6

 

[Santino]

Obviously England want Australia out as soon as possible, but they don't want to be batting in these conditions.

 

[WhyLikeThis]

I love how that Work Shy Cunt (WSC) is attempting to give advice on how to bowl to Chris Woakes.

Yea fuck off mate.

 

[QueenOfGoths]

That was a great catch by Brook... I'm glad Bairstow left it

 

[Elpenor]

Looking like an interesting next hour or so

 

[planetgeli]

One more should bring three but they need it NOW

 

[Spymaster]

That was a great catch by Brook... I'm glad Bairstow left it

Outstanding catch, especially with a lid on.

 

[Petcha]

Why didn't Bairstow call for that? A guy in a helmet catching it over his shoulder or a keeper running forwards with gloves on. He's useless.

 

[Elpenor]

One more should bring three but they need it NOW

There’s one