Local Newspaper Headlines!

[kabbes]

View attachment 255564

Is that actually the guilty gull or have they needlessly blighted the life of an innocent gull by plastering its photo all over their article?

 

[andysays]

Is that actually the guilty gull or have they needlessly blighted the life of an innocent gull by plastering its photo all over their article?

Should have obscured its face the same way they've done with the alleged human offender.

 

[bellaozzydog]

Plymouth, this is why I can’t live there any more, absolute war zone

Woman soaked by angry man with a watering can

Bookshop owner Peter Churcher claimed he was only watering his plants - but a court heard he was living in 'fantasy land'

www.plymouthherald.co.uk

 

[seeformiles]

Police dog finds suspect 'attempting to be a tree' in neighbour's garden after burglary at luxury housing development

A West Yorkshire Police dog found the suspect of a burglary making 'poor attempts' to be a tree in a garden neighbouring the location of the incident.

www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Suffolk man had sex with 450 tractors

A Suffolk man with a bizarre sexual attraction to tractors has been banned from the countryside and forced to sign the sex-offenders' register.

www.suffolkgazette.com

 

[cupid_stunt]

Suffolk man had sex with 450 tractors

A Suffolk man with a bizarre sexual attraction to tractors has been banned from the countryside and forced to sign the sex-offenders' register.

www.suffolkgazette.com

That was a serious WTF? moment, before noticing it's a satire site.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

That was a serious WTF? moment, before noticing it's a satire site.

 

[Orang Utan]

Suffolk man had sex with 450 tractors

A Suffolk man with a bizarre sexual attraction to tractors has been banned from the countryside and forced to sign the sex-offenders' register.

www.suffolkgazette.com

Paging moomoo

 

[neonwilderness]

Skateboarder 'kicked in balls' by neighbour who objected to his 'noisy' stunts

Police have now 'given words of advice' to the neighbour

www.stokesentinel.co.uk

 

[hash tag]

One for cupid_stunt and the Worthing pot holers more than anything Misspelled No Entry road sign: Essex council sees funny side

 

[pseudonarcissus]

Bloody hell...

Major rescue operation after quad bike rider falls into 60 foot sinkhole

EMERGENCY services were called out after a quad bike rider fell 60 foot into a sinkhole.

www.nwemail.co.uk

 

[Indeliblelink]

Rap music accidentally played during mass in Donegal church

A video stream of mass in Kincasslagh Parish Co Donegal, captured the moment loud rap music was played over the church's speakers.

www.independent.ie

Good, might improve their numbers

 

[hitmouse]

"Do you know Father Ward over in Donegal, Father? I hear he's one of these awfully modern priests they have nowadays..."

 

[cupid_stunt]

Further demonstrating how few reporters my local rag has now, and how desperate they are to put any old shite on their website.

Long queues at tips in Worthing and Littlehampton – in pictures

Photos taken at the tips in Worthing and Littlehampton earlier this week show long queues, as sites across the county experience high demand.

www.worthingherald.co.uk

Who the fuck wants to see EIGHT photos of cars queuing?

And, this one, I am scared to click on.

This book is "guaranteed to get people excited about their vegetables"

 

[seeformiles]

Teacher claims he was 'dad dancing' not humping cutout of the Pope

Andrew Jones said the unplanned charity video went "horribly wrong" after pupils used religious items and equipment used for sex education classes

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[Maggot]

 

[not-bono-ever]

Footage shows dozens of people doing the ‘Hokey Cokey’ in Sussex park

Dozens of people have been pictured holding hands and doing the Hokey Cokey in a Sussex park.

www.chichester.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Footage shows dozens of people doing the ‘Hokey Cokey’ in Sussex park

Dozens of people have been pictured holding hands and doing the Hokey Cokey in a Sussex park.

www.chichester.co.uk

Woah, the hokey covid
Woah, the hokey covid
Woah, the hokey covid
Knees bent
Arms stretched
Ra-ra-ra

 

[seeformiles]

Footage shows dozens of people doing the ‘Hokey Cokey’ in Sussex park

Dozens of people have been pictured holding hands and doing the Hokey Cokey in a Sussex park.

www.chichester.co.uk

In 1995 my home town set a World Record for a mass Hokey Cokey in the local park as part of VE Day celebrations (chest swells with civic pride..)

 

[danny la rouge]

“Failed micropigs!”

20 stone pig lives in 3-bedroom house after being sold as a micropig

A 15-year-old girl and her parents got more than they bargained for when they bought Francisco on Instagram, now he lives in a Lanarkshire sanctuary with other 'failed micropigs'.

www.glasgowlive.co.uk

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]

 

[Orang Utan]

 

[Calamity1971]

Don't tell them your name Pike ..
Sunderland burglar left his name and address at crime scene

 

[two sheds]

literally

 

[cupid_stunt]

I was watching an old episode of Room 101, and someone wanted to put local TV news in Room 101, because it's simply not local enough to be relevant.

That gave Frank Skinner the chance to take the piss out of local newspaper photographs having to tell the whole story, as if their readers can't read, here's the 4 examples -



Heavily pregnant woman refused bus travel because she had too many 5p pieces.



Man discovers 21 inch, 3 & half pound cucumber in his greenhouse.



Hoteliers complain about noise levels for north pier, Blackpool.

And, here's a classic that regularly comes up...



Residents warns someone will be seriously injured on pot holed road.

 

[andysays]

I was watching an old episode of Room 101, and someone wanted to put local TV news in Room 101, because it's simply not local enough to be relevant.

That gave Frank Skinner the chance to take the piss out of local newspaper photographs having to tell the whole story, as if their readers can't read, here's the 4 examples -

View attachment 260332

Heavily pregnant woman refused bus travel because she had too many 5p pieces.

View attachment 260335

Man discovers 21 inch, 3 & half pound cucumber in his greenhouse.

View attachment 260334

Hoteliers complain about noise levels for north pier, Blackpool.

And, here's a classic that regularly comes up...

View attachment 260333

Residents warns someone will be seriously injured on pot holed road.

It's easy to take the piss, but those are all actually pretty good photos which illustrate their respective stories simply and succinctly.

And I bet the photographer didn't have their lens hood on backwards either...

 

[cupid_stunt]

It's easy to take the piss, but those are all actually pretty good photos which illustrate their respective stories simply and succinctly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, this thread is about taking the piss.

 

[andysays]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, this thread is about taking the piss.

I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't take the piss, I realise everyone needs a fun hobby, especially in these difficult times.

Plus I wanted to get a reference to lens hoods in somewhere and this seemed like an ideal opportunity.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Meanwhile in Worthing...

A BIZARRE billboard advertising luxury seafront apartments has left passers-by scratching their heads - as it appears to show a young woman who has collapsed.

But a giant billboard in front of the apartment block, displaying an artist's impression of the development, hides a macabre scene at its centre.

Those looking closely at the artist's rendering of a bustling seafront showing people going about their day, can see a seemingly unconscious young woman.

The young red-headed woman with a pink top is seen lying motionless on her back with a young man and woman leaning over her.

The out-of-place image, right in the middle of the billboard, is made even more bizarre by the fact that all the other people on the advert are simply going about their lives as if nothing is wrong.

And the strange scene has left viewers of the billboard scratching their heads - or laughing out loud.

After a video of the billboard was shared on TikTok, one person commented: "I used to live right next to that and I thought the same thing."

And another wrote: "I'm not going to heaven anymore, I laughed out loud at that."

Meanwhile, a third person commented "just a lady dying", followed by laughing face emojis.

Billboards advertising new luxury seafront flats show a woman who has collapsed

A BIZARRE billboard advertising luxury seafront apartments has left passers-by scratching their heads - as it appears to show a young woman who has…

www.theargus.co.uk