Local Newspaper Headlines!

[cupid_stunt]

You can’t park there mate...

Learner driver suffers blow after hitting traffic lights during test

A learner driver in Impington suffered a blow during their test on January 6 after they hit traffic lights.

www.huntspost.co.uk

Oh dear, I wonder if they asked if they had passed.

 

[chandlerp]

well can't say they didn't stop at the red light

 

[cupid_stunt]

Over to Disgusted of Grappenhall...

A RESIDENT has been left 'disgusted' by the sight of a graphic snowman built in Grappenhall.

The enormous snowy figure standing proud on the rugby pitch of Grappenhall Sports Club leaves little to the imagination, with a massive pair of genitals visible on the snowman.

And one outraged resident took to social media to express their utter 'disgust' with the sight, having been out on a stroll with their grandchildren when they came across it.

The resident posted on a Lymm Facebook group, stating: "Absolutely disgusted with this, took the grandchildren on a snowy walk and don't want to have to see things like this." Accompanying the post with pictures of the snowman, they added: "Does anyone where I can report this?"

Snowman's impressive 'tackle' raises eyebrows in Grappenhall

A RESIDENT has been left 'disgusted' by the sight of a graphic-looking snowman built in Grappenhall.

www.warringtonguardian.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

This had me giggling!

The Herald on Sunday’s 2012 story about a man with an eel in his bum is perhaps its most singular and well-read contribution to New Zealand journalism. It’s notable first and foremost for being centred on a man who had an eel in his bum. But it also contains four of the most memorable lines in our media’s history. The first is the headline above, which went out for display at dairies and newsagents around the country. “Man had eel in his bum” is striking, and still more so for the decision to go with the word “in” rather than “up”. The terminology is somehow both more dispassionate and precise, and yet far more confronting and unsettling.

Another standout passage is the product of an anonymous sub-editor at the Herald website. Below a stock photo of a small brown eel, a caption reads: “An eel like this had an adventure”.

That sentence will go down as one of the most extreme examples of understatement put to print. Though being plucked from a waterway and plunged into a man’s anal cavity certainly counts as an adventure, that word fails to capture the full enormity of the eel’s experience.

Somehow all this content comes before the first words of the story itself. The writing doesn’t disappoint. Four paragraphs in, an unnamed hospital source describes the eel. “The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus,” reads their statement. Local news outlets have sometimes struggled with size comparisons. Perhaps the nadir came in 2014, when the Herald described a 6.85kg baby as “nearly the size of seven 1kg blocks of cheese”. Asparagus, on the other hand, is visceral and evocative. You can grasp the eel’s size, literally and figuratively.

‘Man had eel in his bum’: Remembering the story that almost broke the Herald

The story behind the story that sparked headlines around the world – and almost short-circuited the Herald website.

thespinoff.co.nz