Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Badgers]

 

[seeformiles]

Couple shocked as baby scan looks like President Donald Trump

"After five minutes I said, 'Karl, all I can see is Donald Trump' and he burst into laughter."

www.walesonline.co.uk

 

[dessiato]

A nice one:

Patient dog waits for days outside hospital

Boncuk returned each day to hospital in Turkish city of Trabzon where her owner, Cemal Senturk, was being treated

www.theguardian.com

 

[petee]

oh yeah

MPD: Man wakes up to woman holding a bag of pepperoni and drinking coca-cola in his house

On Sunday, January 17, 2021, at approximately 8:20 a. m. , police responded to Massengale Drive about a burglary. Mobile Police Department says a man woke up and noticed an unknown female subject standing in his bedroom drinking Coca-cola and holding a bag of pepperoni that came out of his...

mynbc15.com

 

[hitmouse]

A nice one:

Patient dog waits for days outside hospital

Boncuk returned each day to hospital in Turkish city of Trabzon where her owner, Cemal Senturk, was being treated

www.theguardian.com

Surely if it's a patient it should be inside the hospital?

 

[hitmouse]

Police turn up to 'illegal rave' to find elderly queuing in the cold for Covid vaccine

POLICE who swooped in on an “illegal rave” in Southend instead found queues of pensioners lining up to get their Covid jab.

www.echo-news.co.uk

POLICE who swooped in on an “illegal rave” in Southend instead found queues of pensioners lining up to get their Covid jab.

Three police cars descended on the Essex Freemasons’ Saxon Hall in Aviation Way, Southend on Friday, after being tipped off about a ‘rave’.

But instead of finding strobe lights, glow sticks and groups of teenagers - officers were confronted with large numbers of people in their 80s with walking sticks queuing outside the building for their vaccine.

There is a part of me that wonders if the choice of the Freemasons' Hall as a venue isn't someone somewhere having a wind-up as well.

 

[hitmouse]

Burns Night: Haggis travels to the edge of space!

A haggis has been launched 20 miles into the sky to mark the Scottish celebration of Burns Night.

www.bbc.co.uk

Scotland's national dish is usually eaten on Burns Night, which celebrates the Scottish poet Robert Burns, but this year the pudding had a very different experience.

Instead of being boiled and eaten it was attached to a weather balloon and sent up more than 20 miles (107,293ft) above the Earth!

That's nearly four times as high as Mount Everest.

 

[petee]

Geologist Finds Rare Formation Inside Rock That Looks Exactly Like Cookie Monster on Sesame Street - LOOK

Geologists have found a rare formation inside a rock that looks just like the Cookie Monster character from Sesame Street.

www.goodnewsnetwork.org

 

[hash tag]

I suppose it is a question of priorities

Woman gives armed robber blowjob to distract him until police storm scene

A 24-year-old armed robbery suspect has been arrested by police in the Slovakian capital, Bratislava while lying half-naked with a woman inside a petrol station office.

www.herald.ng

 

[DaveCinzano]

I suppose it is a question of priorities

Woman gives armed robber blowjob to distract him until police storm scene

A 24-year-old armed robbery suspect has been arrested by police in the Slovakian capital, Bratislava while lying half-naked with a woman inside a petrol station office.

www.herald.ng

A Nigerian online student newspaper is definitely my first stop when looking for unsourced local crime reports from Slovakia

 

[hash tag]

There were other sources for it, including the unmentionable british rags.

 

[DaveCinzano]

The story appears to originate with profit-making Slovak state news agency TASR:

Tlačová agentúra Slovenskej republiky - TASR.sk

www.tasr.sk

 

[cybershot]

Can only see this on FB at the moment but will no doubt hit Staffordshire Live soon. An actual Karen complained!

 

[hash tag]

I wonder if she is married to Robin?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Another slow news day week in Worthing.

Worthing’s popular Waitrose trolley man retires

Waitrose in Worthing has wished its long-standing trolley man a happy retirement, after 20 years at the store.

www.worthingherald.co.uk

They missed a trick by not having a photo of him pointing at the trolleys.

 

[hash tag]

Another slow news day week in Worthing.

Worthing’s popular Waitrose trolley man retires

Waitrose in Worthing has wished its long-standing trolley man a happy retirement, after 20 years at the store.

www.worthingherald.co.uk

They missed a trick by not having a photo of him pointing at the trolleys.

Trolley in a pot hole!

 

[hitmouse]

The truth behind 'dog theft' rumours that 'terrified' locals

A wave of social media rumours left some people in the Seaton Valley scared to walk their dogs - but police say the rumours simply weren't true

www.chroniclelive.co.uk

Last week, a wave of reports began to spread on Facebook, claiming that people in Seaton Sluice and the surrounding area had been approached by people trying to steal their dog, or had seen "suspicious" figures in white vans who they believed might be planning a theft.

Northumbria Police said officers have been made aware of the posts, many of which originated from a report of an incident in Seaton Sluice.

Inspector Neil Hall said: "In regards to that particular incident, the member of the public who reported the incident has been spoken to and we are confident there has been no attempted theft. The alleged kidnappers had been delivering scotch eggs to a nearby café, it is a regular delivery and they have made no attempts to speak to the woman in question."

 

[petee]

not a headline, a court finding, but still quite local.

"The motion which Plaintiff filed was entitled "Motion To Kiss My Ass" (Doc. 107) in which he moved "all Americans at large and one corrupt Judge Smith [to] kiss my got [sic] damn ass sorry mother fucker you."

Washington v. Alaimo

Visit the post for more.

loweringthebar.net

we may need a thread for local court cases.

 

[Voley]

Cornwall Live are on form today:

 

[hitmouse]

'Quite a calm koala': marsupial gets behind the wheel after being rescued from Australian freeway

Adelaide woman Nadia Tugwell put the koala in her car after it caused a multi-vehicle crash by ‘stomping’ on to the freeway

www.theguardian.com

Actually, this one could probably go in the Informal Anarchist Actions thread: "The Ned Kelly Brigade claim responsibility for a spontaneous Reclaim The Streets action which created a temporary autonomous zone on the Adelaide Freeway..."

 

[Orang Utan]

Sounds like she’s a talented woman

 

[pseudonarcissus]

Crook Women's Institute holding talks with Owl Sanctuary in Barrow

this is a wonderful non-story, I suspect by a lady member of the institute that wasn’t really paying attention. This was then compounded by a headline writer trying to up the drama from “had a talk by..” to “holding talks with..”, which implies high level negotiations.

 

[petee]

Rude Trip: Two Brothers Go On a Naughty Place Name Tour Across UK

Andy and Magnus Tait embarked on an epic "Rude Trip" of Britain, and over four days visited places across the country with rude and naughty names.

www.sadanduseless.com

england

 

[hitmouse]

No commitment if they didn't make it all the way up to Twatt.

 

[editor]

Drunken bucking bronco gran jailed for biting Orangemen's legs at Ayrshire village fun day

BOOZED-UP Nicola Saunderson sparked mayhem after pushing children out of the way to get on fairground ride.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk

'Nicola Saunderson pushed young children out of the way to get on the fair ground attraction'##

A GRAN bit two Orangemen on the legs during a row after barging her way to the front of a queue for a bucking bronco ride.

Drunken Nicola Saunderson, 38, pushed young children out of the way to get on the fairground attraction.

Saunderson got into a scuffle with two members of the Young Conquerors Orange Band who tried to stop her.

Robert Logan, defending, told Ayr Sheriff Court: “She was pulled to the ground and held there by both men – who were sitting on her.

“That is how she managed to bite their legs.”

The court heard she was highly intoxicated at the fun day in Drongan, Ayrshire, on August 3.


Saunderson, of New Cumnock, admitted assaulting the two men. She also admitted assaulting her ex Derek McCracken and his brother William in Cumnock on June 1.

And she admitted driving without insurance, failing to give a breath test and struggling with four police officers after being stopped in New Cumnock on May 22.

 

[Bus Honeygun]

Not so much the headline as the photo.

Apology after Valentine's Day doughnut boxes 'inedible'

The Lovers Donut Box cost £20 - but some customers say it was barely worth a fiver

www.devonlive.com

 

[kabbes]

It looks like a bunch of shitty arseholes

 

[seeformiles]

I was invited for a vaccine because NHS thought I was 6cm tall

Hilarious mix-up may have highlighted a potential issue with the vaccine roll-out

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk

 

[editor]

 

[danny la rouge]

View attachment 255564

I know Leith Walk. My daughter used to live there. I’ve never had to dodge tongue eating seagulls there. There’s a great book/record shop (Elvis Shakespeare). I mean, it’s not Gorgie.