Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Marty1]

Do you use their wheely bin?

A driver at my old firm told a story that he was caught short once and had a shit in the back of his van into a carrier bag.

He double wrapped it but the odour overpowered him leaking into the front cab so he found a lay-by and attempted to throw the bag over a hedge but it got caught in the branches of a tree.

Couple of days later he passes the same lay-by and notices the carrier bag expanded into a balloon still hanging from the tree as tho about to explode.

The driver often used to retell this story almost as if he was proud, but it always got a laugh.

 

[Chz]

Before I even clicked the link, I knew this was going to be about some piouser-than-thou remembrancer kicking off because someone wasn't showing Due Respect.

When the country's government has never been able to show Due Respect by actually celebrating Armistice Day on the proper day. And instead shuffles it off to the weekend so they don't have to give anyone time off. I always thought it was quite insulting.

 

[pseudonarcissus]

Again, from the Westmorland Gazette...no one is safe!

A bogus rat catcher is reportedly offering work in Dalton and Barrow
POLICE are urging residents to check credentials after reports of a bogus rat catcher operating in Furness.

Reports have surfaced that an illegitimate rat catcher charging upwards of £42 is offering work around the Dalton and Barrow area.

According to the action group, Dalton Community Action, there have been reports of a bogus rat catcher touting for work among local businesses.
The group is urging the public to remain vigilant of any supposed rat catchers looking for work in the local area.

 

[Orang Utan]

Again, from the Westmorland Gazette...no one is safe!

A bogus rat catcher is reportedly offering work in Dalton and Barrow
POLICE are urging residents to check credentials after reports of a bogus rat catcher operating in Furness.

Reports have surfaced that an illegitimate rat catcher charging upwards of £42 is offering work around the Dalton and Barrow area.

According to the action group, Dalton Community Action, there have been reports of a bogus rat catcher touting for work among local businesses.
The group is urging the public to remain vigilant of any supposed rat catchers looking for work in the local area.

How are they bogus? Do they only catch mice or summat?

 

[prunus]

How are they bogus? Do they only catch mice or summat?

Children. It's an old scam.

 

[quiet guy]

Should be easy to spot the one playing the flute

 

[JimW]

How are they bogus? Do they only catch mice or summat?

Brings the dead rats with him.

 

[DaveCinzano]

How are they bogus?

Insufficiently massive spoon.

 

[seeformiles]

Girl, 5, traumatised and sick after falling face first into dog poo

The poo went in horrified Emelia's face and mouth

www.examinerlive.co.uk

 

[JimW]

Police: Woman posing as FBI agent sought free fast food

ROCKMART, Ga. (AP) — Police have jailed a woman in Georgia accused of pretending to be an FBI agent to score a free fast-food meal, saying she allegedly threatened to arrest restaurant workers if they didn’t serve her a complimentary bite.

apnews.com

It added that the woman continued the farce as police arrived to arrest her in the restaurant parking lot Thursday, reportedly claiming to officers that she was an FBI agent and that her credentials were electronic. While being handcuffed, she allegedly began to “talk into her shirt like she was talking into a radio telling someone that we were arresting her and to send someone to Rockmart PD,” officers wrote in the arrest report.

 

[Maggot]

 

[prunus]

View attachment 238417

I had hopes for a moment there that he’d decided to call it ‘Steve’.

 

[cupid_stunt]

View attachment 238417

It's an oldie, from 2014, but still makes me laugh.

 

[danny la rouge]

View attachment 238417

Steve should have designed the Mary Wollstonecraft statue.

 

[petee]

hold the front page...

https://www.fergusfallsjournal.com/news/crime/man-upset-after-falling-off-four-wheeler/article_40863872-22c0-11eb-a221-934d345104b4.html

"The man was upset but he had not hit his head. His blood sugar was checked."

 

[Maggot]

hold the front page...

https://www.fergusfallsjournal.com/news/crime/man-upset-after-falling-off-four-wheeler/article_40863872-22c0-11eb-a221-934d345104b4.html

"The man was upset but he had not hit his head. His blood sugar was checked."

unavailable due to legal reasons.

 

[petee]

unavailable due to legal reasons.

guy fell of a 4-wheeler. EMS,came.
that is all.

 

[seeformiles]

Man who repeatedly shouted 'wakey wakey' during early morning drives warned by police

POLICE have warned a man from Fareham that he could have his car seized if he continues to cause a nuisance in Gosport with his early morning hijinks – including shouting boasts that the police wouldn’t be able to catch him.

www.portsmouth.co.uk

 

[Badgers]

Man who repeatedly shouted 'wakey wakey' during early morning drives warned by police

POLICE have warned a man from Fareham that he could have his car seized if he continues to cause a nuisance in Gosport with his early morning hijinks – including shouting boasts that the police wouldn’t be able to catch him.

www.portsmouth.co.uk

Been meaning to post that. Made me laugh earlier glad he is not my neighbour but still funny.

 

[editor]

Strange huts appear on top of one of Cornwall's highest points

The two structures appear to have been put up on one of the highest points on Bodmin Moor during the second lockdown

www.cornwalllive.com

 

[WWWeed]

 

[seeformiles]

Worth it for the photo:

Genius idea to support the city's most vulnerable families at Christmas

Malcolm Leary is asking people to leave Christmas presents by his shop that will be given to children which are being supported by a local charity

www.leeds-live.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Public given chance to name a Rampion wind turbine (here is how to vote)

A VISITOR centre is offering people the chance to name an offshore wind turbine in a new competition.

www.theargus.co.uk

A VISITOR centre is offering people the chance to name an offshore wind turbine in a new competition.

Organisers at Rampion Visitor Centre are giving members of the public the chance to name FO4, the first operational turbine.

Eager entrants have already submitted suggestions, including Spinny McSpinFace, Turbine McTurbineFace and Windy Miller.

 

[seeformiles]

Public given chance to name a Rampion wind turbine (here is how to vote)

A VISITOR centre is offering people the chance to name an offshore wind turbine in a new competition.

www.theargus.co.uk

I love “Windy Miller”(but Turbine McTurbineface is great too )

 

[hash tag]

Again, from the Westmorland Gazette...no one is safe!

A bogus rat catcher is reportedly offering work in Dalton and Barrow
POLICE are urging residents to check credentials after reports of a bogus rat catcher operating in Furness.

Reports have surfaced that an illegitimate rat catcher charging upwards of £42 is offering work around the Dalton and Barrow area.

According to the action group, Dalton Community Action, there have been reports of a bogus rat catcher touting for work among local businesses.
The group is urging the public to remain vigilant of any supposed rat catchers looking for work in the local area.

They need a "rat trap"

 

[Brainaddict]

This is so good: Fed-up motorist got his son to stand in pothole to show how huge it is

 

[quimcunx]

I love “Windy Miller”(but Turbine McTurbineface is great too )

Spinny mcspinface is clearly the best!

 

[Chz]

Fanny McFanblade.

 

[seeformiles]

Courtesy of Popbitch:

Fed-up motorist got his son to stand in pothole to show how huge it is

One man was so annoyed the pothole hasn't been fixed that he asked his son to stand in it to prove how deep it is

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Courtesy of Popbitch:

Fed-up motorist got his son to stand in pothole to show how huge it is

One man was so annoyed the pothole hasn't been fixed that he asked his son to stand in it to prove how deep it is

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

Just 3 posts above.