Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Steel Icarus]

As opposed to those community noticeboards that display no information

 

[two sheds]

those ones don't get ribbon cutting ceremonies

 

[petee]

Nebraska man's rant to rename 'boneless chicken wings' goes viral

Chemical engineer Ander Christensen, from Lincoln, passionately told a local council meeting to 'remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts'. He is the son of a council member.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Chemical engineer Ander Christensen, from Lincoln, passionately told a local council meeting to 'remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts' because 'we need to raise our children better'.

He proposed alternative terms that he felt better represented what the snack actually is - such as 'wet tenders', 'buffalo-style chicken tenders' and even 'saucy nugs'.

Yuwipi Woman

 

[existentialist]

No pointing in this one, just ribbon cutting, for a new fucking noticeboard.

View attachment 228741

New noticeboard for Findon Valley unveiled

Findon Valley has a new community noticeboard, so residents can keep up to date with things going on in the area.

www.worthingherald.co.uk

Someone's rocking the Edible Woollen Mills look there. Superannuated stylishness...

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Nebraska man's rant to rename 'boneless chicken wings' goes viral

Chemical engineer Ander Christensen, from Lincoln, passionately told a local council meeting to 'remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts'. He is the son of a council member.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Chemical engineer Ander Christensen, from Lincoln, passionately told a local council meeting to 'remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts' because 'we need to raise our children better'.

He proposed alternative terms that he felt better represented what the snack actually is - such as 'wet tenders', 'buffalo-style chicken tenders' and even 'saucy nugs'.

Yuwipi Woman

Yes, I saw that on the news last night. His father is a city counselman who's just as nuts, but on the other side of the spectrum.

As a side note, the chicken mcnugget was developed at the University of Nebraska Ag school. My apologies.

 

[Orang Utan]

That’s like a storyline from Parks & Recreation

 

[MrSki]

 

[dessiato]

BBC News - Man blows up part of house while chasing fly

Man blows up part of house while chasing fly

An electric racket and a gas leak have proved disastrous for one man in France, local media report.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Artaxerxes]

BBC News - Man blows up part of house while chasing fly

Man blows up part of house while chasing fly

An electric racket and a gas leak have proved disastrous for one man in France, local media report.

www.bbc.co.uk

This is literally a cartoon short.

 

[MrSki]

Sorry not local.

 

[existentialist]

Court appearance for man who hit four cars in Steynton and drove off

A MAN will appear in court in December, charged with driving whilst over the limit and failing to stop after an accident.

www.westerntelegraph.co.uk

Cited only because the driver appeared to have a grudge against vehicles involved in the supply of office consumables...

Police were called to Conway Drive in Steynton on Sunday morning (Sept 6) after the driver collided with four stationery vehicles before driving off.

A spokesperson for Dyfed-Powys Police said: "Police were called at 7.15am on Sunday, September 6, 2020 to a report of a road traffic collision on Conway Drive, Steynton, Milford Haven.
“A grey Audi collided with four stationery vehicles and left the scene."

 

[existentialist]

Sorry not local.

Looks like she at least got a decent bunch of flowers out of it

 

[petee]

"I Noticed An Odd Lump": Brooklyn Man Finds Escaped Prisoner Hiding Behind His Loom

"I grabbed my flash light and moved the sheet and there's this face looking back at me."

gothamist.com

"Terry Pierson was sitting in his Sunset Park home watching TV and drinking scotch on Wednesday night when he noticed an "odd lump" beneath his loom. "So I grabbed my flashlight and moved the sheet and there's this face looking back at me," recalled the 62-year-old, who weaves in his spare time."

w/ video

 

[cupid_stunt]

Lockdown is over, so our famous local pointing councillors prats are back!



The daft thing is, you can see loads of re-patched road, where all of the potholes had been repaired, so the council is on the case, but a new small one has appeared, giving them the chance to complain again of a new photo opportunity.

In addition that whole road is due to be re-surfaced soon, so this is basically 'pointless pointing'.

Worthing councillors reignite their war on potholes: ‘We’re declaring war on dodgy roads’

Two Worthing councillors have reignited their long-running war on the town’s crumbling roads.

www.worthingherald.co.uk

 

[izz]

Lockdown is over, so our famous local pointing councillors prats are back!

View attachment 229908

The daft thing is, you can see loads of re-patched road, where all of the potholes had been repaired, so the council is on the case, but a new small one has appeared, giving them the chance to complain again of a new photo opportunity.

In addition that whole road is due to be re-surfaced soon, so this is basically 'pointless pointing'.

Worthing councillors reignite their war on potholes: ‘We’re declaring war on dodgy roads’

Two Worthing councillors have reignited their long-running war on the town’s crumbling roads.

www.worthingherald.co.uk

Knobbers. Some people only exist to give the rest of us something to laugh at.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Knobbers. Some people LibDems only exist to give the rest of us something to laugh at.

Corrected.

 

[Ponyutd]

Police: 'Why are you holding an iron out the car window?' Passenger: 'To cool it down obviously'

POLICE stopped a car after spotting an iron being held out the window-only to be told it was to cool it down.

www.dorsetecho.co.uk

https://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/resour...g?display=1&htype=208&type=responsive-gallery


POLICE stopped a car after spotting an iron being held out the window-only to be told it was to cool it down.

The car was stopped by Dorset Police's No Excuse Team.

A spokesman said: "The mobile ironing service - you stand outside and they drive past and iron anything for you ...
"On first view we thought these were legs hanging out the window, when we stopped to ask why they were hanging an iron out the window - they were cooling it down.
"We offered words of advice suggesting to keep the iron in the car or wait until it’s cooled down before driving."

 

[chandlerp]

It can take an Iron Age(s) to cool down.

 

[existentialist]

It can take an Iron Age(s) to cool down.

Here's your coat.

 

[pseudonarcissus]

I know it’s not local, but this “illegal immigrant” headline in the Daily Mail slightly restored my faith in the good nature(ist) of the British People

 

[two sheds]

Great introduction to the British way of life

 

[seeformiles]

From Popbitch:

Men find very long fork on Bristol street

“I think it’s the type of story people need to hear”

www.bristolpost.co.uk

 

[kabbes]

From Popbitch:

Men find very long fork on Bristol street

“I think it’s the type of story people need to hear”

www.bristolpost.co.uk

That’s a really, really long article. I’ve seen shorter news articles about major world events.

 

[cupid_stunt]

From Popbitch:

Men find very long fork on Bristol street

“I think it’s the type of story people need to hear”

www.bristolpost.co.uk

It's not even a 'extremely long fork', it's a plastic folk taped to a length of wood, I feel conned.

 

[pseudonarcissus]

From Popbitch:

Men find very long fork on Bristol street

“I think it’s the type of story people need to hear”

www.bristolpost.co.uk

A new perspective on the Yogi Berra quote: "when you come to a fork in the road, take it"

 

[MrSki]

 

[DaveCinzano]

More like at plastic-fork-sellotaped-to-a-stick-point

 

[Orang Utan]

The gold is in the police statement rather than the headline. YEP missed a trick there. They could have least called it a sting in the headline

Police bust honey gang who stole expensive honey from health food stores across Yorkshire

Police tracked down a honey gang who have been sweeping round stores in Yorkshire to swipe expensive honey from health food stores.

www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk

 

[andysays]

The gold is in the police statement rather than the headline. YEP missed a trick there. They could have least called it a sting in the headline

Police bust honey gang who stole expensive honey from health food stores across Yorkshire

Police tracked down a honey gang who have been sweeping round stores in Yorkshire to swipe expensive honey from health food stores.

www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk

Did they use a honey trap?

 

[JimW]

Romanian villagers re-elect mayor despite his COVID-19 death

BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) — After handing Ion Aliman victory in the election for their local mayor, residents of a small village in southern Romania went to his grave to light candles for him.

apnews.com

No-one tell the Lib Dems.