Local Newspaper Headlines!

[petee]

RI Issues Tax Refunds Signed by ‘Walt Disney,' ‘Mickey Mouse'

Rhode Island mistakenly sent more than 175 tax refund checks signed by Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse

www.nbcnewyork.com

"The Rhode Island Division of Taxation uses the signatures on test files, which were mistakenly printed on the real checks"

 

[cupid_stunt]

ETA - This was featured on the trade website, 'Hold The Front Page', earlier today, taking the piss out of Hampshire Live.

Just went to find the links, and it's disappeared off both the HTFP & HL websites, glad I had taken a screen shot.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Fowl play suspected

Bradford man pleads guilty to having sex with chickens

Rehan Baig entered guilty pleas to a total of 11 charges including three of performing an act of penetration on chickens

www.examinerlive.co.uk

.

 

[DaveCinzano]

EGGS-RATED FILTH

 

[Indeliblelink]

Fowl Play

 

[two sheds]

EGGS-RATED FILTH

 

[JimW]

He's normally a pheasant plucker, or was that his mate?

 

[UrbaneFox]

I wonder what friends and family and neighbours say when someone has been done for poultry rape, apart from 'hearing that knocked the stuffing out of me', or some other sage comment.

 

[Lord Camomile]

The headline isn't bad, actually, but it's the pictures that make it.

Councillor 'gobsmacked' after lamppost put in tree in Watford

 

[cupid_stunt]

The full size photo on the local rag's website is classic.

Instead of putting the new post in where the old one was, the workers put it further away from the road and in a tree, which would have blocked most of the light.

Cllr Williams said: "Whilst of course it was disappointing that this lamp column was knocked down, I am totally amazed about how the replacement lamppost has been handled.

"I was gobsmacked that they put up the replacement post up a tree where minimal light would be achieved.

A new lamppost was put up in a tree and a councillor can't quite believe it

A councillor says he was "gobsmacked" when he saw that workers had put up a new lamppost in a tree.

www.watfordobserver.co.uk

 

[Badgers]

Woman catches Amazon driver mid-squat pooing in her garden

A delivery no one would want to receive.

metro.co.uk

 

[andysays]

Woman catches Amazon driver mid-squat pooing in her garden

A delivery no one would want to receive.

metro.co.uk

An Amazon driver, you say. It couldn't be anyone we know...

...could it??

 

[Indeliblelink]

Saw this while reading above link

Four-month-old baby knocked out in pub fight

The child was rushed to hospital and received treatment for a minor head injury.

metro.co.uk

Someone must of spilt his milk.

 

[andysays]

Saw this while reading above link

Four-month-old baby knocked out in pub fight

The child was rushed to hospital and received treatment for a minor head injury.

metro.co.uk

Someone must of spilt his milk.

 

[JimW]

An Amazon driver, you say. It couldn't be anyone we know...

...could it??

He prefers shitting in threads.

 

[andysays]

He prefers shitting in threads.

I'm disappointed it took nearly two and a half hours for someone to deliver the punchline after I set it up for you.

 

[JimW]

I'm disappointed it took nearly two and a half hours for someone to deliver the punchline after I set it up for you.

I had other tap-ins to take, goal-hanging ain't easy

 

[seeformiles]

RI Issues Tax Refunds Signed by ‘Walt Disney,' ‘Mickey Mouse'

Rhode Island mistakenly sent more than 175 tax refund checks signed by Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse

www.nbcnewyork.com

"The Rhode Island Division of Taxation uses the signatures on test files, which were mistakenly printed on the real checks"

A bank I worked for many years ago launched a premium account for those with over 100k in savings. 10,000 letters were accidentally sent to those qualifying - opening with “Dear Mr Rich Bastard”

 

[Indeliblelink]

Former Mayor Killed in Guacamole Maker Explosion

A food processor being tested to make guacamole exploded on Wednesday morning in New York -- killing a former mayor and injuring two others, officials said.

toofab.com

 

[Little Piranha]

Woman catches Amazon driver mid-squat pooing in her garden

A delivery no one would want to receive.

metro.co.uk

My partner used to be a gardener and let slip to me that he would sometimes dig a hole and shit in people's gardens when he wasn't able to get in to use the loo.

I was absolutely shocked and told my mum, who was also a gardener at the time, thinking she'd be shocked.

Turns out they're all at it.

 

[two sheds]

They should carry dog poo bags and take it with them.

 

[DaveCinzano]

EGGS-RATED FILTH

#farce

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Probably get a better result persuading BA to put him in charge of cutting jobs...

 

[dessiato]

Canadian brewery apologizes after using the Maori word for 'pubic hair'

A beer brand in Canada and a leather shop in New Zealand have apologized after they came under fire for unwittingly taking their name from the Maori word for pubic hair.

www.ctvnews.ca

 

[Mogden]

Man accidentally shot himself in the testicle and dies from infection

He was reluctant to tell doctors the full details of his injury, an inquest has heard

www.derbytelegraph.co.uk

 

[Badgers]

Tesco blackmailer revealed as ex-Grimsby Tory chairman and councillor

The man behind the plot to blackmail Tesco for £1.4m by contaminating jars of baby food was a Ukip MP candidate and a Grimsby Conservative chairman

www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

 

[petee]

Vacaville man fends off wildfire with Bud Light

As the LNU Lightning Complex Fires raged around him, Little was able to keep the flames at bay by spraying cans of Bud Light, defending his house in the process.

www.mercurynews.com

Little then grabbed the largest source of liquid he could find: a 30-pack of Bud Light.

“That was the only thing I had that I had a lot of, and it was wet,” he said.

 

[dessiato]

Vacaville man fends off wildfire with Bud Light

As the LNU Lightning Complex Fires raged around him, Little was able to keep the flames at bay by spraying cans of Bud Light, defending his house in the process.

www.mercurynews.com

Little then grabbed the largest source of liquid he could find: a 30-pack of Bud Light.

“That was the only thing I had that I had a lot of, and it was wet,” he said.

At last someone finds a good use for Bud Light.

 

[Cerv]

http://camdennewjournal.com/article/rubbish-piles-up-after-bins-in-gospel-oak-are-removed

another local resident points at thing for camera

 

[cupid_stunt]

No pointing in this one, just ribbon cutting, for a new fucking noticeboard.

New noticeboard for Findon Valley unveiled

Findon Valley has a new community noticeboard, so residents can keep up to date with things going on in the area.

www.worthingherald.co.uk