Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Orang Utan]

View attachment 415060

actually, isn’t that Susan Hall, the Tory Ratfuck Mayoral Candidate?

 

[Elpenor]

Thought it was Sarah Lancashire tbh

 

[chandlerp]

If only the Argos catalogue still existed.

 

[Orang Utan]

Thought it was Sarah Lancashire tbh

That’s a bit unfair! She’s lovely!

 

[hash tag]

Get yer blind person ere

 

[Nine Bob Note]

B&M selling discontinued Nestle Animal chocolate bars​

Link

A popular Nestle chocolate bar has been spotted on sale at B&M just months after it was discontinued by the confectionary company after more than 60 years.

 

[moochedit]

At last some real news

Crisp packet from 1999 found during litter pick

A crisp packet from 1999 has been found during a litter pick celebrating the launch of this year's Great British Spring Clean.

uk.news.yahoo.com

 

[cupid_stunt]

Queues for cash machine at Sainsbury's in Worthing after card payment system fails​

Chaos at the cashpoints!

As four people fight for cash!

 

[moochedit]

Queues for cash machine at Sainsbury's in Worthing after card payment system fails​

Chaos at the cashpoints!

As four people fight for cash!

View attachment 416170

National problem at sainsburys apparently. Mcdonalds had simalar problems worldwide yesterday.

 

[MrSki]

 

[quiet guy]

Good start in Dorset, just need to follow on for the rest of the UK

 

[seeformiles]

Queues for cash machine at Sainsbury's in Worthing after card payment system fails​

Chaos at the cashpoints!

As four people fight for cash!

View attachment 416170

That crowd looks dangerously restless. A policeman may have to be summoned to restore order.

 

[Lazy Llama]

Case of Creme Egg and sex toys thief cracked - Grimsby court round-up

Nicholas Scott, 33, of no fixed abode indicated pleas of guilty to stealing two crates of Creme Eggs worth £129 from Tesco Express and sex toys worth £80 from the OMG Adult World store, both in Grimsby Road. He also indicated pleas of guilty to multiple counts of shoplifting from Asda and Tesco. He was ordered to comply with drug rehabilitation.

Case of Creme Egg and sex toys thief cracked - court round-up

Magistrates also sentence driver caught with heroin and man carrying a knife in a public place

www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

 

[Indeliblelink]

Great-great grandma celebrates turning 103 by having massive rave

The party looked like something from Ibiza.

metro.co.uk

Think their definition of "massive rave" might differ from my mine somewhat.

 

[hitmouse]

Great-great grandma celebrates turning 103 by having massive rave

The party looked like something from Ibiza.

metro.co.uk

Think their definition of "massive rave" might differ from my mine somewhat.
View attachment 416374

Tbf, we can only see part of the room there, I wouldn't want to pass judgement until seeing what the rest of the room's like.

 

[moochedit]

The Grimsby x-files

Grimsby X-Files - from strange UFO sightings to 'alien abduction'

There have been many unusual tales of close encounters in our part of the world over the years

www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

 

[dessiato]

Not uk local but nonetheless...

Vulture makes surprise flying visit to balcony of seafront holiday apartment on Costa del Sol

The occupants of the tourist flat took a video of the huge bird, which has since gone viral on social media, before it continued on its way after a few hours of rest in F

www.surinenglish.com

 

[iona]

Orkney Islands Council has had its own standing orders row. The standing order in question was about...







Standing
<that xzibit meme>

 

[T & P]

So long as everyone has read them and understood them, it shouldn’t be an issue.

 

[hitmouse]

Have we had dogheadbinlidgate yet?

Vet issues safety warning after Jack Russell puppy gets head stuck in bin lid

A Gatehead puppy got her head trapped in a bin lid - the vets had to call the fire serice to help cut her free.

www.chroniclelive.co.uk

 

[petee]

Lego instructs California police department to stop using Lego heads to mask identities of suspects

The Murrieta Police Department has reportedly been told to stop digitally adding Lego heads onto photos of suspects, according to a recent report.

www.foxnews.com

 

[petee]

Man changes name to Literally Anybody Else and announces US presidential run

Texas man says he is unsatisfied with Donald Trump and Joe Biden and says new name ‘isn’t a person, it’s a rally cry’

www.google.com

"A Texas man has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and announced he is running for US president in the 2024 election."

 

[Indeliblelink]

Not a headline I was expecting.

Alan Titchmarsh’s jeans blurred by North Korean TV censors

Footage of green-fingered BBC presenter obscured from waist down to hide ‘symbol of US imperialism’

www.theguardian.com

Yes, yes, I know it's not "local news"

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[hitmouse]

Snake missing for a year dropped by crow into Spennymoor garden

The corn snake had been dropped by a crow who "bit off more than it could chew", the RSPCA says.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[cupid_stunt]

Hapless Edinburgh husband costs wife £1,000 bidding against himself at auction

Over the years, Craig has cost Debbie an additional £5k with his antics - including melting their fridge and crashing their car while trying to switch the radio station

www.edinburghlive.co.uk

WTF?

An Edinburgh man dubbed "Britain's clumsiest husband" has cost his wife another £1,000 - after falling into a bidding war with himself for a painting.

Debbie Stephens, 60, said all she could do was "watch in shock" as husband Craig, 55, bid on the artwork - against himself. Not realising how an auction worked, Craig kept standing up and shouting out increments of £50 - starting with £650.

The theatre "roared with laughter" when he realised "too late" that no-one else was bidding. Now, the pair have given the £1,000 artwork of characters from BBC's 'Still Game' pride-of-place on the living room wall.

 

[two sheds]

Debbie Stephens, 60, said all she could do was "watch in shock" as husband Craig, 55, bid on the artwork - against himself.

That's actually very easy to do