Local Newspaper Headlines!

[cupid_stunt]

I want to see a picture of this sex-bedroom.

 

[hitmouse]

Obligatory:

 

[Artaxerxes]

 

[petee]

Person drunk texts thought-provoking questions to SC Aquarium's educational number

CHARLESTON, S. C. (WCIV) — The bottle appeared to open up one Lowcountry resident's mind as they drunkenly texted a series of deep questions to the South Carolina Aquarium's educational number. The aquarium shared a screenshot on Monday afternoon showing the conversation between the inquisitive...

local21news.com

 

[MrSki]

 

[chandlerp]

Should have told him to button it

 

[chandlerp]

Was he getting some flak?

 

[andysays]

Sounds like he was bombed...

 

[Steel Icarus]

Something something under a vest I dunno I'm supposed to be working

 

[DotCommunist]

he was coating his coat off

 

[editor]

Residents of a Derby suburb are upset about a hair salon opening on their street, one saying that the small business will ruin the area.

Samantha Stokes set up the salon in her garage on Quarn Drive, in Allestree in March 2020, at the start of the pandemic when forced to downsize and now wants to make the move permanent.

But her neighbours are unhappy, saying that the salon would mean increased noise levels, more traffic and more footfall, and arguing that the city centre is a better place for a salon.

Locals are "shocked" by the suggested opening hours, which under council plans would be 10am - 6pm on Monday to Friday, and 9am - 5pm on Saturdays.

“They might have got around it legally, but it’s morally very wrong.”

New hair salon in residential street angers neighbours

It has been operating from a converted domestic garage in Derby

www.derbytelegraph.co.uk

 

[Steel Icarus]

"morally wrong" lol
Look at that silly old cunt on the left there

 

[two sheds]

Couldn't even find a pothole to point at

 

[seeformiles]

View attachment 270449

New hair salon in residential street angers neighbours

It has been operating from a converted domestic garage in Derby

www.derbytelegraph.co.uk

Miserable bastards - their very way of life is at stake here....

 

[MathFabMathonwy]

 

[seeformiles]

This one manages to combine potholes and porn

Crude message criticising patchwork road mentions porn website

A CRUDE message criticising a patchwork road and mentioning a porn website has appeared in a Bradford village.

www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

This one manages to combine potholes and porn

Crude message criticising patchwork road mentions porn website

A CRUDE message criticising a patchwork road and mentioning a porn website has appeared in a Bradford village.

www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk

The message reads: “Have seen holes filled in better on Pornhub”.

It is on a patch of road that is littered with uneven spots of tarmac where attempts have been made to repair potholes.

The message has caused quite a stir on social media.

Many have dubbed it as “hilarious”, with several people applauding the individual who spray-painted the road.

But there are those who have raised concerns about the fact the crude words are situated right outside a nursery and described the perpetrator as “irresponsible”.

Not sure nursery age kids are likely to get it, TBH.

 

[andysays]

Not sure nursery age kids are likely to get it, TBH.

Kids are pretty precocious these days.

It was probably one of them who wrote it.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Kids are pretty precocious these days.

It was probably one of them who wrote it.

Yeah, but not a nursery age kid!

 

[hitmouse]

Manchester theatre accidentally thanks entire mailing list for sponsoring a bee

'Oh beehive, it was a hornets mistake…'

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk

 

[hitmouse]

This one manages to combine potholes and porn

Crude message criticising patchwork road mentions porn website

A CRUDE message criticising a patchwork road and mentioning a porn website has appeared in a Bradford village.

www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk

Points to the Bradford T&A for "The scornful and uncouth words" there.

 

[Orang Utan]

Police hunt heavily armed former soldier in south-west France

Residents in Le Lardin-Saint-Lazare in the Dordogne told to stay indoors during hunt for convict

www.theguardian.com

Is his name Rimbaud?

 

[Steel Icarus]

Police hunt heavily armed former soldier in south-west France

Residents in Le Lardin-Saint-Lazare in the Dordogne told to stay indoors during hunt for convict

www.theguardian.com

Is his name Rimbaud?

I'll give you a Loire you won't believe

 

[existentialist]

Not sure nursery age kids are likely to get it, TBH.

 

[seeformiles]

The groundwork has already be done with regard to bad puns but improving upon them should be a pizza cake for Urbs

Tomato puree spillage closes A14 in Cambridgeshire

 

[andysays]

The groundwork has already be done with regard to bad puns but improving upon them should be a pizza cake for Urbs

Tomato puree spillage closes A14 in Cambridgeshire

Doesn't mention if the driver was caught red handed...

 

[JimW]

Dashcam footage points to the American driver hitting a petrol spill, as his last words before the accident were, "Gas patch...oh!"

 

[quiet guy]

Typical local blowing things out of all proportions

 

[seeformiles]

View attachment 271649
Typical local blowing things out of all proportions

To hell in a handcart…..

 

[cupid_stunt]

This made me smile.

D'oh! - giant Homer Simpson rescued from roof by firefighters after being stolen.

GIANT models of The Simpsons were rescued by the emergency services after being reported stolen.

Photos show huge figurines of the cartoon family being hoisted down from above a property in Worthing.

Firefighters were spotted on Brighton Road climbing up a ladder to reach Homer and Marge. Police were also called to the scene - with onlookers applauding the unusual rescue effort.

He told the Argus: "We were just having breakfast and the police arrived and started pointing up.

"They waited for about ten minutes before the fire brigade turned up and started taking all the figures down.

"Everyone was cheering - it was quite amusing!

"It was pretty hilarious - certainly not the sort of thing you see every day."

I certainly would have joined in the cheering.