UK captains of industry have charity night where they sexually assault young female 'hostesses'

[Teaboy]

You think they'd rather their line of work was illegal and they had to work the streets? No solution is going to make being on the game a good prospect.

For sure, its a crappy situation but consent is not something that is black and white.

 

[SheilaNaGig]

Really? you wouldn't try and chat up the hot waitress? Assuming of course you're not married or in a relationship (neither true in my case), no girl should have to put up with being groped but you don't think you shouldn't ask her if she is free tomorrow night?

It always used to piss me right off if someone I was serving at a table tried to get flirty with me. I’m working here. It always felt opportunistic and sleazy. Like they’d be acting interested in any woman who was waiting on them, in a subservient position, having to be charming and do the deferentials because I’m being paid to be that way. Being employed as a waitress compels me to be polite even while feeling creeped out by the attention.

Whenever I’ve worked as a waitress, it’s been absolutely normal for one waitress being hit on to get another waitress to work that table instead. Preferably switch to a male waiter for the rest of the meal. And then studiously ignore the person who was trying to flirt. Even to the extent of taking a break or walking the long way the around the room.


ETA And I’ve never met a manager who wasn’t very willing to allow a waitress to change stations or take a break if a punter was hitting on her.

It’s the same in bars and pubs by the way. Don’t hit on the wait staff. If you really are interested in getting to know them, find a different way to talk to them than while they are working.



ETA again. And by the way, I was never ever free the following night. Or the following weekend. Or I’d invent a boyfriend. And really hope him liking me would translate into a decent tip, rather than getting a knock back causing him to leave a miserly tip.

 

[no-no]

For sure, its a crappy situation but consent is not something that is black and white.

of course not but having legalised prostitution would make this particular situation easier for young girls to navigate because the job description would be clear.

 

[Wilf]

A pedos wanton desire necessarily requires the consent of someone who can't consent. Adults that want to pay each other for sex is a totally different thing.It's got fuck all to do with anyone else other than that we attempt to make sure there's no coersion involved.

My corneas are a bit dodgy, can I buy yours? If we agree a price and sign a contract, there's surely no reason for the namby pamby government, legal system or anybody else to get in the way. Oh and I may need your liver in a few years.

 

[Teaboy]

of course not but having legalised prostitution would make this particular situation easier for young girls to navigate because the job description would be clear.

It is legal, in that it is not illegal.

 

[Pickman's model]

of course not but having legalised prostitution would make this particular situation easier for young girls to navigate because the job description would be clear.

young girls?
Wilf Teaboy Badgers

 

[kittyP]

These girls were hired to serve drinks and look pretty and the partygoers turned out to be a bunch of assholes whose behaviour was shameful, but let's assume they didn't and behaved as well as I hope you or I would under these circumstances.
If at the end of the evening and you had a pleasant evening flirting with a pretty girl are you suggesting that you wouldn't ask if you could take her somewhere more private the next evening? If so why because she was paid to be there and you were a guest?
OK she says no thank you then fine you have to a gentleman about it but are you saying you consider it socially unacceptable to even ask?

How would you like it if some bloke you had only met that day, as part of your work, came up to you and asked you on a date by your desk in front of your colleagues?

 

[SpookyFrank]

My local has a sign with some very similar wording to this above the bar.

It's possible we have the same local

 

[BemusedbyLife]

How would you like it if some bloke you had only met that day, as part of your work, came up to you and asked you on a date by your desk in front of your colleagues?

Well in my case very surprised actually but yes point taken I shall endeavour to be more sensitive if I ever get invited to an event like this

 

[SheilaNaGig]

It's possible we have the same local

It’s also possible that the problem is common enough to necessitate the sign being present in many bars.

 

[SheilaNaGig]

Well in my case very surprised actually but yes point taken I shall endeavour to be more sensitive if I ever get invited to an event like this

Or anywhere that women are employed to serve you drinks and/ or food whilst being polite and charming.

 

[8ball]

It's possible we have the same local

So long as you're not on that quiz team that keeps beating us...

 

[SpookyFrank]

So long as you're not on that quiz team that keeps beating us...

No we always lose too

 

[BemusedbyLife]

Or anywhere that women are employed to serve you drinks and/ or food whilst being polite and charming.

That you Mum?

 

[SheilaNaGig]

That you Mum?

If she were here she’d no doubt agree with me that you need to grow the fuck up.

 

[no-no]

My corneas are a bit dodgy, can I buy yours? If we agree a price and sign a contract, there's surely no reason for the namby pamby government, legal system or anybody else to get in the way. Oh and I may need your liver in a few years.

No thanks, I won't be signing that contract...see how that works?

young girls?
Wilf Teaboy Badgers

Yes, some of these girls were only 19. You seem to have given up arguing your point and reverted to insults. Good work.

 

[Pickman's model]

Yes, some of these girls were only 19. You seem to have given up arguing your point and reverted to insults. Good work.

'young girls' is not an insult in my book. why is it an insult in yours?

 

[Poot]

5 year olds are young girls.

Nineteen year olds can vote (and work). Almost like grown-ups, really. Like women, you might say.

 

[Badgers]

Yes, some of these girls were only 19. You seem to have given up arguing your point and reverted to insults. Good work.

 

[no-no]

5 year olds are young girls.

Nineteen year olds can vote (and work). Almost like grown-ups, really. Like women, you might say.

getting sidetracked a bit aren't we, young women then, i'll use whatever terms you're happy with.

 

[no-no]

'young girls' is not an insult in my book. why is it an insult in yours?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[Spymaster]

There's a bit of bollocks being posted on this thread now. There's a difference between someone making unwanted advances to someone else whilst they work and someone perhaps picking up on a mutual attraction and running with it. My ex was a barmaid who I met in the pub she worked at. Over a short period we got chatting and I soon asked her out. If I hadn't done that we'd both have missed out on a 5 year relationship and my son wouldn't have been born. Loads of people meet in workplaces.

 

[Wilf]

getting sidetracked a bit aren't we, young women then, i'll use whatever terms you're happy with.

I disagree, sunshine, laddie, wee one, little feller...

 

[kabbes]

there's some truth to that but then should anything that normalises untoward behaviour be restricted?

Tell you what, let's just start with restricting the normalisation of behaviour that results in serious assault. We can think about "untoward" behaviour from there.

What we are talking about here is men being given the nod and the wink that it's okay when being served drinks to sexually assault their server. You think that kind of positive reinforcement ends at the door? That it doesn't change how the man objectifies other women he comes across? That his impulses aren't going to be trained in the direction of what has been normalised from him?

If you do think that, you don't know much about how psychology works.

lap dancing clubs, strippers, chippendales and esp anything violenct...martial arts, full contact sports,movies, lyrics, etc

Can you spot the difference between individuals putting on a display and the interaction between members of the public and the "performers"? Can you spot the difference between that and a "performance" that pretends that it is actually for real?

that's a bit puritan for me. Not to mention stepping all over people's rights.

You want to talk about "rights" now? How about the right to expect you can live your life in peace without society presenting you as a sex object that others have the right to use as they see fit?

it seems there are two options being touted. One to accommodate peoples wanton desires as safely as possible and the other to attempt to change the culture and those wanton desires.

I don't think these sorts of desires can be suppressed, they'll surface in some form in an unregulated environment. That has to be the worst possible option.

Absolute fucking balderdash.

 

[kabbes]

getting sidetracked a bit aren't we, young women then, i'll use whatever terms you're happy with.

How about instead of that, you have a think about what terms you are happy with and why you are happy with them?

 

[Pickman's model]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

you said

You seem to have given up arguing your point and reverted to insults. Good work.

the post you quoted consisted of the words 'young girls'. the only possible conclusion is that you believe young girls to be an insult.

 

[Pickman's model]

There's a bit of bollocks being posted on this thread now. There's a difference between someone making unwanted advances to someone else whilst they work and someone perhaps picking up on a mutual attraction and running with it. My ex was a barmaid who I met in the pub she worked at. Over a short period we got chatting and I soon asked her out. If I hadn't done that we'd both have missed out on a 5 year relationship and my son wouldn't have been born. Loads of people meet in workplaces.

yeh. but you didn't rock up and within 15 minutes go 'alright darlin, how's about you and me later?' did you, which is what people are complaining about. getting to know someone and then asking them out is of course different.

 

[Badgers]

The parties with 'young girls' are mostly for royalty

 

[SheilaNaGig]

There's a bit of bollocks being posted on this thread now. There's a difference between someone making unwanted advances to someone else whilst they work and someone perhaps picking up on a mutual attraction and running with it. My ex was a barmaid who I met in the pub she worked at. Over a short period we got chatting and I soon asked her out. If I hadn't done that we'd both have missed out on a 5 year relationship and my son wouldn't have been born. Loads of people meet in workplaces.

Yes I also know long-term couples who met in similar circumstances.

But as you say yourself, you got talking to her over a period of time. I doubt you hit on her the first time you clapped eyes on her.


ETA... or Yeah, what Pickman’s said!

 

[cupid_stunt]

Pickman's model usually does it for half that.

Speaking from experience?