the south atlantic industrial zone is 'go' (priti patel floated idea of sending asylum seekers to ascension island)

[Bahnhof Strasse]

They could fly them down there 'Rendition Class' in a C-17 from BZZ. It would be wildly expensive but when has that ever stopped the MoD?

Can that even land there now (or more importantly, take off again)? AFAIK only a tiny bit of the runway is currently serviceable, in order to deal with the St Helena flight when it needs to divert..?


edit; yes the C-17 can do it. Bumpy landing though.




And here's a BA 747 leaving the Falklands:




This is the same aircraft that was destroyed in in Kuwait, after not dropping off UK special forces

 

[andysays]

had to check it wasn't April 1. bloody hell. how thick is priti patel? really actually this thick?

The lunatics have taken over the asylum seeking system

 

[Pickman's model]

Yeah, did cross my mind too. Few more months and being banished to Ascension Island might look like the winning ticket.

Until you see the penguin feed factory

And realise that none of the former people who go in emerge to tell of their experiences

 

[likesfish]

If they want a god awful shithole to house asylum seekers theirs always the Isle of sheppy.
Ascension island the Royal Navy built a rainforest onhttps://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/science/man-made-rainforest-baffles-scientists-32593.html%3famp

It also has a bar the only one for 4000 miles if your on a trooping flight.

 

[Chilli.s]

It's one of the stupidest ideas floated in a sea of stupid ideas. I can see how Patel might take it seriously.
It's an idea so stupid that a comedian would have dismissed it as a pisstake for being so improbable.

 

[not-bono-ever]

is there gonna be a fleg for this brave experiment land ?

 

[Dogsauce]

There's maybe a couple hundred of thousand fp to pass through ascension island on the way to drain Falkland sound and save the penguins. They will leave nothing on ai bar a new pontins-style resort.

Won‘t they need some sort of manufacturing facility to build the canoes for the remainder of the journey?

 

[Pickman's model]

Won‘t they need some sort of manufacturing facility to build the canoes for the remainder of the journey?

The Atlantic Conveyor is being raised to transport the fp to their final destination

 

[Pickman's model]

is there gonna be a fleg for this brave experiment land ?

Priti Patel's head on a spike in silhouette against a red background

 

[Pickman's model]

It's one of the stupidest ideas floated in a sea of stupid ideas. I can see how Patel might take it seriously.
It's an idea so stupid that a comedian would have dismissed it as a pisstake for being so improbable.

You won't believe how much effort the board of the saiz put into this, we're all very happy at how receptive the government has been toward measures designed for their extirpation

 

[Chilli.s]

Yeah, your idea is sound Pickmans, after it's implemented, in years to come, I reckon a commemorative pound coin. At least.

 

[kebabking]

Yeah, your idea is sound Pickmans, after it's implemented, in years to come, I reckon a commemorative pound coin. At least.

The People's Commissar for Public Safety (Designate) is designing a Challenge Coin for this very purpose. Pickman's model's heroic work on this Priority A Project has long been recognised, and it is the wish of the State Committee that he be rewarded - appropriately - for his dedication.

(No monetary value, may subsequently involve allegations of counter-revolutionary behaviour from a jealous non-entity culminating in a show trial with fabricated evidence, exile on the South Sandwich Islands and a cold, lonely death from starvation and hypothermia)

 

[dylanredefined]

How about sark I'm sure the barclay brothers would do their patortic duty.
Or they could just bomb them into submission.

 

[Pickman's model]

The People's Commissar for Public Safety (Designate) is designing a Challenge Coin for this very purpose. Pickman's model's heroic work on this Priority A Project has long been recognised, and it is the wish of the State Committee that he be rewarded - appropriately - for his dedication.

(No monetary value, may subsequently involve allegations of counter-revolutionary behaviour from a jealous non-entity culminating in a show trial with fabricated evidence, exile on the South Sandwich Islands and a cold, lonely death from starvation and hypothermia)

Well-fed penguins and fewer former people will be my reward, comrade

 

[A380]

A junior minister post for Chris Grayling no doubt?

He'd build the camps in Falkirk by mistake...

 

[MickiQ]

I have a feeling that Priti just saw some article about the Aussies packing them off to Nauru and demanded to know why we aren't doing the same. I suspect whoever she asked wanted to say "Don't be daft" but bit his tongue and some poor sod got stuck with the job of looking into it to buy time whilst his/her superiors convinced Priti the whole thing was a non-starter.

 

[A380]

"How far is St. Helena from a little child at play?"
What makes you want to wander there with all the world between?
Oh, Mother, call your son again or else he'll run away.
(No one thinks of winter when the grass is green!)

"How far is St. Helena from a fight in Paris street?"
I haven't time to answer now—the men are falling fast.
The guns begin to thunder, and the drums begin to beat.
(If you take the first step, you will take the last!)

"How far is St. Helena from the field of Austerlitz?"
You couldn't hear me if I told—so loud the cannons roar.
But not so far for people who are living by their wits.
("Gay go up" means "Gay go down" the wide world o'er!)

"How far is St. Helena from an Emperor of France?"
I cannot see—I cannot tell—the Crowns they dazzle so.
The Kings sit down to dinner, and the Queens stand up to dance.
(After open weather you may look for snow!)

"How far is St. Helena from the Capes of Trafalgar?"
A longish way—a longish way—with ten year more to run.
It's South across the water underneath a falling star.
(What you cannot finish you must leave undone!)

"How far is St. Helena from the Beresina ice?"
An ill way—a chill way—the ice begins to crack.
But not so far for gentlemen who never took advice.
(When you can't go forward you must e'en come back!)

"How far is St. Helena from the field of Waterloo?"
A near way—a clear way—the ship will take you soon.
A pleasant place for gentlemen with little left to do.
(Morning never tries you till the afternoon!)

"How far from St. Helena to the Gate of Heaven's Grace?"
That no one knows—that no one knows—and no one ever will.
But fold your hands across your heart and cover up your face,
And after all your trapesings, child, lie still!

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Priti Patel's head on a spike in silhouette against a red background

Even in darkened silhouette the sneer will be visible.

 

[LDC]

Priti Patel's head on a spike in silhouette against a red background

To kill her you need to separate the brain from the body though, so that won't do it.

 

[Pickman's model]

To kill her you need to separate the brain from the body though, so that won't do it.

It is an image

The brain and indeed body will be guano in antarctica

 

[Pickman's model]

Even in darkened silhouette the sneer will be visible.

No, the artist we're using doesn't do sneers

 

[DaveCinzano]

Insert RAF joke....

Andreas, Gudrun and Ulrike walk into a bar...

</Frank Carson voice>

 

[LDC]

Is she just throwing darts at a map?

Revealed: No 10 explores sending asylum seekers to Moldova, Morocco and Papua New Guinea

Documents seen by Guardian suggest Foreign Office officials are pushing back at proposals for processing claims in detention facilities overseas

www.theguardian.com

 

[Orang Utan]

The phrase ‘former people’ is sinister as fuck. Though obviously it comes from a weirdo fantasist obsessed with penguin shit

 

[MickiQ]

To kill her you need to separate the brain from the body though, so that won't do it.

wooden stake through the heart, only way to be sure

 

[Pickman's model]

wooden stake through the heart, only way to be sure

Being shat out of a penguin is generally proof of death

 

[Pickman's model]

The phrase ‘former people’ is sinister as fuck. Though obviously it comes from a weirdo fantasist obsessed with penguin shit

you obvs know more of Douglas Smith than I.

 

[Sue]

wooden stake through the heart, only way to be sure

A bit of garlic and holy water wouldn't go amiss either. Belt and braces.

 

[quiet guy]

I heard Branson has offered the government a contract on this for £1bn per flight and they are keen to go ahead.

Michael O'Leary would cut that price if there was a chance of a contract or maybe one of Grayling's famous ferries could be utilized for the transfers.

 

[Pickman's model]

Michael O'Leary would cut that price if there was a chance of a contract or maybe one of Grayling's famous ferries could be utilized for the transfers.

Mol booked on an early flight to grytviken