Elpenor
Dancing as fast as I can
Crunchy nut corn flakes are just Frosties for wankers
Crunchy nut corn flakes are just Frosties for wankers
Realising that the most annoying part of the job was going to be shaving off hundreds of thousands of bits of sulphur from individual matchsticks, he contacted the match manufacturer. They supplied him with kilos of sulphur-less matches - in other words sticks without the red part at the end. Perfect for building, but technically not real matches.
Unfortunately for him, the Guinness World Records rules stipulate that only "commercially available" matches qualify for a record-breaker.
"They reckoned that my matches weren't available for sale. So they didn't qualify," said Mr Plaud. BBC News
They changed their minds: Maker of tallest matchstick Eiffel Tower celebrates as record refusal reversedHe must be fucking gutted!
Fortunately, this is not the end of the story, but for a while it was bloody funny
French matchstick Eiffel Tower record bid ruled out over wrong matches
A French enthusiast who wanted to beat the world record is told he used the wrong matches.www.bbc.co.uk
Not a very good cat burglarBungling burglar tried - and failed - to squeeze through cat flap at property
AN INTRUDER who tried to burgle a Carlisle children’s home was identified because he injured himself as he tried to crawl through a cat-flap,…www.newsandstar.co.uk
West Midland Safari Park is now called West Midlands Safari Park and has a brand-new logo.
The award-winning tourist attraction celebrated its 50th anniversary last year, so the park felt like it was the right time to embark on a rebrand and truly mark the start of a new era.
Crunchy nut corn flakes are just Frosties for wankers
"His van was off the road for several weeks." His van off the road for how long why?Driver guilty of attacking gas man with chippy tea
Simon Lloyd hurled his chips, rice and curry through the window of his victim's van, a court heard.www.bbc.co.uk
What a waste.
If we allow such things, then where does it stop?They changed their minds: Maker of tallest matchstick Eiffel Tower celebrates as record refusal reversed
I think that photo might have been taken in daylight so it wouldn't be on.Classic pointing photo.
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Neighbours in the dark over when street light will be turned back on
People living in Church View Close, Sprowston, are angry that a streetlight is yet to be working again two weeks after it was taken down during…www.eveningnews24.co.uk
And yet some postboxes are painted gold, having been done so to mark the winning of gold medals by British competitors in the 2012 OlympicsPolice out catching some real criminals
Kent Police investigate after Dartford postboxes painted gold
Police are issuing an image of a man they want to speak to about the damage to boxes in Dartford.www.bbc.com
Arrest the british olympic team immediatelyAnd yet some postboxes are painted gold, having been done so to mark the winning of gold medals by British competitors in the 2012 Olympics
It worries me that there are reports that the Russians are developing an even larger chip.HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!
Dudley bricklayer finds one of the world's longest chips – a 9in whopper
A man reckons he's discovered one of the world's longest - chips.www.expressandstar.com
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What's the point of having a big chip if you can't brag about it?Didn't his mother tell him not to boast.
Conceit spoils the finest genous. The great charm of all power is modesty.What's the point of having a big chip if you can't brag about it?