Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Bus Honeygun]

Hey, we all like cakes...

Man sadly not just eating a cream cake outside Plymouth shop

 

[Indeliblelink]

"My Amazon Alexa went rogue and ordered me to stab myself in the heart"

 

[two sheds]

A terrified mum

stab yourself in the heart for the greater good

can't argue with the logic though, clearly the direction AI is taking for the good of humanity (they give the actual recording, it's quite convincing).

 

[kabbes]

"My Amazon Alexa went rogue and ordered me to stab myself in the heart"

That’s a REALLY long article for a one-line news story!

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Dead radioactive goats experimented on decades ago could be buried in Berkshire

 

[petee]

Minneapolis MN Journal, 1906

 

[hash tag]

However much it itches
Man says bottle got stuck up his bum when he scratched an itch and 'lost it' | Metro News

 

[cupid_stunt]

Fed-up Worthing councillors throw birthday party for nuisance pothole

Two fed-up Worthing councillors have thrown a birthday party for a nuisance pothole.
To mark the two year anniversary of the appearance of the pothole, Martin McCabe and Bob Smytherman 'celebrated' with a cake and candles by the hole on Palatine Road.

FFS, Bob, it's a side road, there's worst potholes on the A259, you tit.

 

[two sheds]

And as in first comment: You're the councillor can't you sort it out?

 

[hash tag]

Not much of a party, didn't anyone get invited?
"celebration" , yes, well.
seen big potholes on major trunk roads.
have they not seen fix my pothole.com

 

[cupid_stunt]

And as in first comment: You're the councillor can't you sort it out?

Bob is our town crier, in love with himself & a complete publicity whore, hence this stunt, and the Herald laps it up.

The other councillor is only on Worthing Borough Council, whereas it's West Sussex County Council responsible for that road, but Bob is on both councils.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Not much of a party, didn't anyone get invited?

Well I didn't.

But, then I did call him a twat outside Tesco's last week, when he was dressed in his town crier outfit & rang his bell right in the face of some toddler & reduced the poor lad to tears.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Bob is our town crier, in love with himself & a complete publicity whore, hence this stunt, and the Herald laps it up.

And, of course, they included the 'pointing at stuff' classic local rag photo.

 

[SheilaNaGig]

What are they holding there? It looks like the amputated arm of a small tattooed child.

 

[cupid_stunt]

What are they holding there? It looks like the amputated arm of a small tattooed child.

It's 'the cake', with 2 candles on it!

 

[SheilaNaGig]

I thought they were some kind of ritualistic voodoo pin things .


If you’re going to the trouble of tattooing a child in order to amputate it’s arm for a sacrifice to the pit, voodoo pin things are going to be involved. Stands to reason, innit.

 

[two sheds]

I thought they were some kind of ritualistic voodoo pin things .


If you’re going to the trouble of tattooing a child in order to amputate it’s arm for a sacrifice to the pit, voodoo pin things are going to be involved. Stands to reason, innit.

But to make a cake out of it. I think someone should report them

 

[SheilaNaGig]

The fact that they’re blatantly exhibiting this tattooed arm cake in the pages of the local rag suggests to me that they’re operating with a fairly high degree of impunity. So I’m going to assume that they’re part of some larger force for evil.

Baby eating anarchists y’all

 

[SheilaNaGig]

His syrup though...

 

[SheilaNaGig]

 

[cupid_stunt]

The fact that they’re blatantly exhibiting this tattooed arm cake in the pages of the local rag suggests to me that they’re operating with a fairly high degree of impunity. So I’m going to assume that they’re part of some larger force for evil.

Baby eating anarchists y’all

Nope, they are LimpDems.

There's a reply on that twitter post that says, 'this is why I love the LibDems'.

The only logical reply would be, 'Is that because they are hopeless getting anything done when elected, and just act as clowns instead?'

 

[SheilaNaGig]

It was a joke


I said it on another thread a little while back. Because there ain’t no such thing anymore, if ever there was.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I know it was a joke, hence I 'liked' it.

 

[Orang Utan]

And, of course, they included the 'pointing at stuff' classic local rag photo.

View attachment 194441

they have a Cox & Evans vibe about them:

 

[Indeliblelink]

Antiques Roadshow expert drinks urine after mistaking it for a vintage port

 

[mx wcfc]

I drank a 1963 vintage port over xmas. Not sure how anyone could muddle them up.

 

[kabbes]

I drank a 1963 vintage port over xmas. Not sure how anyone could muddle them up.

Because it was about 150 years old, not 50 years old. He thought it had gone to vinegar.

 

[two sheds]

He wasn't far wrong.

 

[Yossarian]

Shouldn't that be "Bolton man obliterates world land speed record?"

 

[two sheds]

They must have asked him how fast he was doing.