It occurs to me that there might be a pseudo-scientific thesis to be written, perhaps by Malcolm Gladwell or one of those types, about the relative merits of having one weakness versus having hundreds of weaknesses. The choice may seem obvious, but because this a pseudo-scientific thesis, let’s compare the Death Star from Star Wars with Donald Trump. Both are big, round, full of evil, sort of newsworthy, and... that’s probably it. But that’s quite a few things considering that one is a fictional spaceship and the other is a racist.
Let us begin:
The Death Star from Star Wars was a gigantic killing machine with a massive laser cannon that could instantly blow up a planet. It was protected by shitloads of tiny spaceships and by deflector shields, whose power source was hidden in a forest and protected by an army that, on a bad day, might have to suppress some teddy bears armed with spears. The most prestigious passenger on board the Death Star could kill you with his mind, and it even has the word “Death” in its name. Basically impossible to destroy. Except that it had one weakness: you could take it down by shooting into a tiny little exhaust vent and that would make the whole thing blow up immediately. Achilles had his heel, Barcelona had that phase when Dani Alves, then Pique, then Dani Alves again, were a bit suspect, and with the Death Star you knew that despite how dangerous and formidable it was, you just had to keep plugging away at this exhaust vent. Result: two broken Death Stars. From this we can conclude that things with very few weaknesses have one big weakness: they demand that you focus.
Donald Trump is the opposite of the Death Star. He defies your attempts to focus. If someone wants to yell at him that he is a disgusting racist then they have to postpone yelling out that he is a disgusting misogynist. If you despise him for knowing shit all about the economy then you are wasting valuable time you need to spend despising him for knowing shit all about foreign affairs. Speculation that his opinions aren’t real and are just for public show delays important speculation that his hair isn’t real and is just for public show, or that more than half of the $8.7 billion that he claims to be worth isn’t real and is just for public show. Point out that he is a hypocrite because he claims to be some sort of business genius but has actually filed for bankruptcy at least four times and you divert discussion away from the fact that he is a hypocrite because he claims to believe in traditional marriage and yet has already had three of them. His campaign belongs in the entertainment section because he is a massive clown, but he belongs on the front page because he has dragged his crazed followers and their dangerous prejudices out into the mainstream. He is the sum total of all of his weaknesses and he has the word “Trump” in his name, which he has written on everything he owns. Result: He remains a leading candidate for the Republican presidential nomination and he doesn’t care what anyone that has criticised him thinks, because trying to put Donald Trump in his place with reason and facts is like trying to beat a rock to death with a cricket bat.
So, in conclusion, it is harder to win a fight with Donald Trump than it is to win a fight with the Death Star, despite Trump being a bullying, over-privileged, shrill, shameless, vacuous, pink ignoramus. David Cameron, who, lest we forget, is a twice-elected bullying, over-privileged, shrill, shameless, vacuous, pink ignoramus, would of course also win in a fight with the Death Star
