still lying on bed speaking into voice recorder
The reason the mutiny failed was because Prigozhin and Putin finally admitted their secret love for each other. They elope to Las Vegas for an Elvis impersonator marriage, honeymoon at a secret location in Lapland, Glinka's Troika on the soundtrack as they sledge through magical forests shitfaced on 'molly' (for the American market), admit that war's a bit silly really and love is all you need... then off to a remote location 'somewhere near the steppes of Mongolia' to live out their days in matrimonial bliss complete with wacky comedy routines about Prigozhin's cooking/hot dogs etc. Tragic twist - Putin takes so many steroids that his face puffs up, his eyes become even more like pissholes in the snow, then they disappear altogether as his face swells into a solid mass of flesh and he suffocates, leaving Prigozhin heartbroken, with only his memories of their happy time together.
Working title Putiny on the Bounty / Bareback in the USSR