UK captains of industry have charity night where they sexually assault young female 'hostesses'

[seeformiles]

These things are nothing new. Many years ago I was regularly invited, and attended, events where much worse went on. I am embarrassed to admit I thought it was fun. Luckily I've grown up a lot now, unlike some of these men.

I went to one years ago with a mate who got the tickets from his boss whose wife forbade him to go. It was in a hotel in Sheffield and was all for charidee. What went on makes the Presidents’ bash look like a Sunday School picnic i.e. boxing, strippers, live sex show, high-class escorts, “old-school” comedian - all very seedy. On the plus side there was a great buffet and all the drinks were free. Me and my mate were the only 20 something’s in a sea of corpulent company directors in their late 50s. Stay classy Sheffield!

 

[Wilf]

I went to one years ago with a mate who got the tickets from his boss whose wife forbade him to go. It was in a hotel in Sheffield and was all for charidee. What went on makes the Presidents’ bash look like a Sunday School picnic i.e. boxing, strippers, live sex show, high-class escorts, “old-school” comedian - all very seedy. On the plus side there was a great buffet and all the drinks were free. Me and my mate were the only 20 something’s in a sea of corpulent company directors in their late 50s. Stay classy Sheffield!

Oh.

 

[dessiato]

What would have stopped you when it was you?

I really don't know. There was an assumption that the girls gave consent, e.g. at one event the naked girls were giving men dildos and inviting them to use the dildo, they were also inviting men onto the stage and performing sex acts on the men. I doubt much of that was actually 100% consensual. Now, with the benefits of age, wisdom, and hindsight I don't imagine there was really any consent. I suspect that their actions were much more due to external pressures/financial coercion than a true willingness. But hindsight is 20:20 vision, at the time it seemed acceptable. I don't think that at all now.

 

[Gerry1time]

Have we had #accidentalpartridge on this yet?

 

[rubbershoes]

I can imagine that some of the people would have boasted to their wives about the posh dinner they were going to at the Dorchester, all for charity of course.

 

[dessiato]

I went to one years ago with a mate who got the tickets from his boss whose wife forbade him to go. It was in a hotel in Sheffield and was all for charidee. What went on makes the Presidents’ bash look like a Sunday School picnic i.e. boxing, strippers, live sex show, high-class escorts, “old-school” comedian - all very seedy. On the plus side there was a great buffet and all the drinks were free. Me and my mate were the only 20 something’s in a sea of corpulent company directors in their late 50s. Stay classy Sheffield!

That, minus the boxing is the sort of event to which I was invited. It was expected that you didn't say no, unless you were a "puff." Taking part was optional, but not getting drunk, not getting on the stage when invited, not acceptable. It was a male dominated, misogynistic environment.

 

[chilango]

I was invited (somewhat reluctantly I've been told ) to some charity event like this a while back. Now, given the number of high profile women involved I doubt there was this vile misogyny on display, though I heard on the grapevine the thing reeked of vulgar displays of privilege and power* from the "movers and shakers" in attendance.

I didn't go. Even with a free ticket I couldn't afford the incidental costs. I wouldn't have gone revenue if I could've. I bluntly refused. Much to the organisers' relief.

*My interpretation of the brief accounts of the evening that were shared with me later.

 

[ddraig]

That, minus the boxing is the sort of event to which I was invited. It was expected that you didn't say no, unless you were a "puff." Taking part was optional, but not getting drunk, not getting on the stage when invited, not acceptable. It was a male dominated, misogynistic environment.

Why did you go to more than one?

 

[HoratioCuthbert]

I went to one years ago with a mate who got the tickets from his boss whose wife forbade him to go. It was in a hotel in Sheffield and was all for charidee. What went on makes the Presidents’ bash look like a Sunday School picnic i.e. boxing, strippers, live sex show, high-class escorts, “old-school” comedian - all very seedy. On the plus side there was a great buffet and all the drinks were free. Me and my mate were the only 20 something’s in a sea of corpulent company directors in their late 50s. Stay classy Sheffield!

Do you guys ever find humour in anything else besides making women feel like pieces of shit? Cutting edge, eh.

 

[dessiato]

Why did you go to more than one?

Because it was an obligation. It was expected. You'd be told that there was an event, that it was going to cost you however much, and that you'd be picked up. Refusing was opening yourself up to all sorts of abuse.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I wonder where all the cash will go now? GOSH have stated they want nothing to do with it now and have returned the donations. Its bound to have been a load of money.

Its an interesting question - is accepting the much-needed cash really an endorsement of the abhorrent behaviour on the night? Especially for a cause so worthy as GOSH.

I think they should have stated they are severing ties with the event (which i'm certain is dead in the water now), but accepted this money. What they use it for is too important not to.

The event was shocking, the money raised is dirty, but it does seem a shame that charities are returning the donations, as it will not sadly undo what has happened.

 

[pengaleng]

I find raffles really offputting.

 

[ddraig]

Because it was an obligation. It was expected. You'd be told that there was an event, that it was going to cost you however much, and that you'd be picked up. Refusing was opening yourself up to all sorts of abuse.

Worse abuse than the women suffered at said events?
Do you mean a bit of ribbing and ridicule compared to sleaze and assault?

I turned down corporate do's to strip clubs and horseracing and got called a few things, still didn't feel obligated to go, whatever they called me and however they treated me as some kind of weirdo or "puff" as you called it

Showed them up for the scum they were passing it off as normal activity
Some things are more important than fitting in and even business

 

[bemused]

The event was shocking, the money raised is dirty, but it does seem a shame that charities are returning the donations, as it will not sadly undo what has happened.

They should keep it.

 

[bemused]

I turned down corporate do's to strip clubs [..]

I was taken to a strip club a few years, it was most uncomfortable. Not at the sight of a naked lady is unpleasant it's just the overall weirdness of men sitting there looking at women they aren't allowed to touch and have to pay to talk to.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Worse abuse than the women suffered at said events?
Do you mean a bit of ribbing and ridicule compared to sleaze and assault?

I turned down corporate do's to strip clubs and horseracing and got called a few things, still didn't feel obligated to go, whatever they called me and however they treated me as some kind of weirdo or "puff" as you called it

Showed them up for the scum they were passing it off as normal activity
Some things are more important than fitting in and even business

Having worked in a female dominated industry all my life this kind of thing has thankfully never been on my radar. But Frau Bahn spent 15 years working in a plumbing supplies place. This company got taken over by Travis Perkins and all the managers that were left, (all men, every senior woman was given the elbow, including Frau Bahn when she was pregnant), were expected to go to 'sales meetings' in Hamburg, Prague, Bologna and other places with liberal laws or lax attitudes to prostitution and strip clubs and hookers were paid for by Travis Perkins. It was verbally stated that you would find yourself out of a job if you didn't join in. As this was paid for from the company, this was money that was ultimately denied to the UK Treasury. Scummy as fuck.

 

[Wilf]

Worse abuse than the women suffered at said events?
Do you mean a bit of ribbing and ridicule compared to sleaze and assault?

I turned down corporate do's to strip clubs and horseracing and got called a few things, still didn't feel obligated to go, whatever they called me and however they treated me as some kind of weirdo or "puff" as you called it

Showed them up for the scum they were passing it off as normal activity
Some things are more important than fitting in and even business

Yep, short of risking the sack or other serious shit from bosses, being 'called a puff' isn't that great a price to pay for sticking up for your principles. I'm not after the moral highground on this, I've refused to attend a couple of things - even my own leaving do from Rochdale Council as a strip club visit was planned, but luckily not had to face any come back. But still, unless you are in a genuinely precarious position, you really are entitled to tell them to do one.

 

[dessiato]

Worse abuse than the women suffered at said events?
Do you mean a bit of ribbing and ridicule compared to sleaze and assault?

I turned down corporate do's to strip clubs and horseracing and got called a few things, still didn't feel obligated to go, whatever they called me and however they treated me as some kind of weirdo or "puff" as you called it

Showed them up for the scum they were passing it off as normal activity
Some things are more important than fitting in and even business

I wonder how long ago you were doing this. I was doing it some thirty years ago. In those days, things were rather different to much more recent times. I know now that it was wrong. Then it seemed the norm. It was assumed that since the girls were specifically employed to be nude waitresses, to be strippers, to be performing sex acts, they had consented, at least at some level. I don't doubt that there was some sexual abuse. I don't think that the girls could have gone to the police, as some of the events were organised by the police. As I said, hindsight is twenty twenty vision.

 

[likesfish]

FFS this sort of shit went out of favour in the army by the 90s even then the strippers were mostly used to ( bully the new LT and officer cadets and they don't really count as human). and even then the lads knew it was look but don't touch . when they let women join the TA infantry those things went away immediately.

 

[ddraig]

I wonder how long ago you were doing this. I was doing it some thirty years ago. In those days, things were rather different to much more recent times. I know now that it was wrong. Then it seemed the norm. It was assumed that since the girls were specifically employed to be nude waitresses, to be strippers, to be performing sex acts, they had consented, at least at some level. I don't doubt that there was some sexual abuse. I don't think that the girls could have gone to the police, as some of the events were organised by the police. As I said, hindsight is twenty twenty vision.

Over 20 years ago, it was wrong then
Lots of presuming of consent by you, still doesn't excuse it
E2A
And what was different then?? That you could get away with it?
Less "do gooders" and "namby pamby pc brigade" about?
Ah the good old days when men were men and women knew their place
Mega fucking cringe

 

[dessiato]

Over 20 years ago, it was wrong then
Lots of presuming of consent by you, still doesn't excuse it

I haven't tried to excuse it. I have repeatedly said that I now realise how wrong it was.

 

[ddraig]

I haven't tried to excuse it. I have repeatedly said that I now realise how wrong it was.

Yes you have by saying it was a while ago and "things were different" and "presumably the women consented"
When and how did it become wrong?

I edited and added more to my post you quoted

 

[seeformiles]

Do you guys ever find humour in anything else besides making women feel like pieces of shit? Cutting edge, eh.

Excuse me? I was just relating my experience of an event I attended by default nearly 30 years ago - an event that wasn’t my sort of thing at all (as I think I made clear in my original post). Please don’t lump me in with the glassy eyed mysogynists for who this evening definitely was their thing. It was just a glimpse into a strange parallel universe I had no idea existed before that night.

 

[keybored]

I was taken to a strip club a few years, it was most uncomfortable. Not at the sight of a naked lady is unpleasant it's just the overall weirdness of men sitting there looking and women they aren't allowed to touch and have to pay to talk to.

I've managed to avoid ever going to one, I know I'd find the whole thing tacky and exploitative and wouldn't enjoy it.

First invitation was by my then girlfriend who offered to take me to one for my birthday; I politely declined and suggested something else (Thai meal followed by a club I think).

Second invitation (3 years ago) was when out on a pre-Christmas night organised by a customer. After a meal and a lot of drinks, a couple of the other contractors suggested we go on to a strip club. I suggested it was the shittest idea ever and if we were going back to the 70s then I'd rather go to a bingo hall or a disco. I was delighted when both the directors backed me up.

I'd done a lot of work for that customer over the years and there was mutual respect, that combined with a fair few ciders meant I felt able to speak my mind. Had I been a lot younger and less sure of myself maybe I would have been dragged along.

The first invitation was harder to turn down, she seemed a bit put out as she thought all men would jump at the chance.

 

[dessiato]

Yes you have by saying it was a while ago and "things were different" and "presumably the women consented"
When and how did it become wrong?

I edited and added more to my post you quoted

I've tried to make it clear that the situation in which I found myself was one where there was little, or no regard, for what are the obvious niceties. I've tried repeatedly to say that with hindsight that what was happening was wrong. It was at a time when I was referred to as a black bastard, a nigger and told if I didn't like it to fuck off back where I came from. It was a time when such things were considered acceptable. I was told that if I complained that I should leave my job or be sacked. Thank god none of this would be acceptable now. The abuse of the women and girls wasn't acceptable then, and is not acceptable now. But back then it was done, and a blind eye was turned to it.

 

[D'wards]

First invitation was by my then girlfriend who offered to take me to one for my birthday; I politely declined and suggested something else (Thai meal followed by a club I think).

On a podcast i listen to - the Modern Mann, he did an interview with a stripper that was very interesting.

She was generally very positive about it all, but said they all dread the "Christmas Cunts" -which are mixed groups of colleagues who turn up after their works do. She said that a lot of the women denounce the stripper's looks - "my tits are better than hers" etc, loudly in front of them.

 

[bimble]

Not all the men at this event were old, a woman on twitter who worked there made the point that many were her age or younger, 'millenial men' she said. Just worth noting they don't all have the excuse of how they missed the memo. I suspect the event had a sort of retro appeal.

 

[Gerry1time]

There was an annual charity strip show by students for students when I was at Bristol Uni back in 1998 (a vet student thing iirc). I was dragged there by friends of both genders, and walked out two minutes after the student strippers came on stage. Utterly bizarre and horribly uncomfortable to be surrounded by people shouting at other people on stage to take more of their clothes off. I was also taken to a lap dancing club in New York in 1999 by a female friend. I must hold the rare distinction of making a lap dancer in a lap dancing club feel so awkward for offering me a lap dance that she actually apologised for doing so. I reassured her that she was just doing her job, and that it was I that was the odd one out in that context, not her.

 

[Spymaster]

Yes you have by saying it was a while ago and "things were different" and "presumably the women consented"
When and how did it become wrong?

I edited and added more to my post you quoted

That's not excusing it and he's taken pains to point out that it was out of order. The fact is things were different 20-30 odd years ago and you could find yourself pressured into situations as a youngster that a few years later as an older and wiser man you'd have more confidence in taking a stand against. That's not excusing it.

 

[bemused]

I've managed to avoid ever going to one, I know I'd find the whole thing tacky and exploitative and wouldn't enjoy it.

I didn't even know I was going there, they were taking me out for an early dinner. It later turned out the guy who took me was pretty grim - who was regaling me with tales of prostitutes he'd slept with in London. If you want to make your living sleeping with folks for cash or use the services good for you - but he's was just slimy.

His colleague was a great guy and I'll be eternally grateful for him introducing me to Five Guys burgers.