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Local Newspaper Headlines!

Orang Utan said:
Not sure about. Citation needed.
IME a ringing phone is very easy to ignore as phone calls always come when people are already doing something else to occupy them. Why answer?
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I can ignore a ringing telephone, but in my experience, most people cannot.
This man wondered why people did not ring him, but made no attempt to find out why. It does not ring true (pun intended).
 
PTK said:
I can ignore a ringing telephone, but in my experience, most people cannot.
This man wondered why people did not ring him, but made no attempt to find out why. It does not ring true (pun intended).
Click to expand...
Maybe he wondered but still couldn’t be arsed
 
Perhaps the people who used to ring him were only doing so out of a sense of obligation, not because they were his friends.
OR - he could have been joking when he said he wondered why people did not ring him.

How could there be a tombstone, without a body?
 
:(

413871909_920760559420156_8742433857929925629_n.jpg
 
PTK said:
I can ignore a ringing telephone, but in my experience, most people cannot.
This man wondered why people did not ring him, but made no attempt to find out why. It does not ring true (pun intended).
Click to expand...
I just let mine go to awnserphone. Anybody that matters knows to whatsapp me :)
 

Scream at the Sea 2023 sees people air the grievances in stormy weather on Worthing seafront​


"We will shout obscenities to our hearts' content. We will stand on rocks and make the sea turn back. Find your voice, and shout at the top of your lungs."

After reciting the poem Joe handed out, everyone screamed and shouted at the sea.

The poem reads: "We the mighty few, gathered and true, ready to scream at the sea. We bring grievances and sorrow. We start anew, put last year's pain in the deep. We bring old lungs to freshen. We bring harsh words to strengthen ourselves against what we won't keep and we scream at the sea."

The waves roared in response and tiny pellets of hail fell from the sky but everyone went away happy.
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"
1703833666272.png
 
PTK said:
The judge accepted the defence's plea in mitigation that the accused did not play the instrument in question.
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If it had been an accordion he’d used, I’m sure crown court would be a more appropriate arena for sentencing. - and, were I the presiding judge, the death penalty would definitely be on the table.
 
moochedit said:
I just let mine go to awnserphone. Anybody that matters knows to whatsapp me :)
Click to expand...
When I worked for Hackney Council about 20-odd years ago, they brought in this rule that you had to answer your phone or any unattended phone within three rings. So, just for a laugh, I took every opportunity to pick up every single call not at my desk, just so I could say "sorry they're not at their desk, can you call back later". And as phones were ringing all the time, my line manager soon realised I was getting fuck all actual work done. The manager eventually asked me to stop picking up other people's phones but I told her I was a "stickler for policy" and so should she be. Anyway, I totally refused to comply and there was fuck all she could do about it. At some point, they ditched that policy and I had to do some proper fucking work beyond taking the piss. I like to think I played a small part in said policy's demise :thumbs:
 
Serge Forward said:
When I worked for Hackney Council about 20-odd years ago, they brought in this rule that you had to answer your phone or any unattended phone within three rings. So, just for a laugh, I took every opportunity to pick up every single call not at my desk, just so I could say "sorry they're not at their desk, can you call back later". And as phones were ringing all the time, my line manager soon realised I was getting fuck all actual work done. The manager eventually asked me to stop picking up other people's phones but I told her I was a "stickler for policy" and so should she be. Anyway, I totally refused to comply and there was fuck all she could do about it. At some point, they ditched that policy and I had to do some proper fucking work beyond taking the piss. I like to think I played a small part in said policy's demise :thumbs:
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Have you seen the training video starring John Cleese which illustrated why it is a bad idea to pick up the phones of others? The character ends up saying something along the lines of "I'm not here". We were shown this video after I had been working for that local authority for about a year. One young woman cried, because she was so upset about being patronised in this way.
 
Serge Forward said:
When I worked for Hackney Council about 20-odd years ago, they brought in this rule that you had to answer your phone or any unattended phone within three rings. So, just for a laugh, I took every opportunity to pick up every single call not at my desk, just so I could say "sorry they're not at their desk, can you call back later". And as phones were ringing all the time, my line manager soon realised I was getting fuck all actual work done. The manager eventually asked me to stop picking up other people's phones but I told her I was a "stickler for policy" and so should she be. Anyway, I totally refused to comply and there was fuck all she could do about it. At some point, they ditched that policy and I had to do some proper fucking work beyond taking the piss. I like to think I played a small part in said policy's demise :thumbs:
Click to expand...

When I had just joined Johnson Press, a dumb instruction came down from H.O. that all calls had to be answered quoting the titles at your office, I pointed out that wouldn't really work here, and was asked why, me being me gave an example -

"Good Morning Worthing Herald, Shoreham Herald, Lancing Herald, Steyning Herald, Littlehampton Gazette, West Sussex Gazette, Worthing/Shoreham/Littlehampton Advertiser, Worthing Guardian, 'etc.' magazine, and Business Matters, how can I help you?

The response was we didn't need to mention individual editions, just main titles, as in the 'Herald/Gazette series'.

I pointed out this still wasn't a great idea, we could perhaps get away with the 'Herald series', being four editions of one main title, but the tabloid Littlehampton Gazette was totally different to the broadsheet West Sussex Gazette, that served the rural South Downs area, so it would only reduce it to -

"Good Morning Worthing Herald series, Littlehampton Gazette, West Sussex Gazette, Worthing/Shoreham/Littlehampton Advertiser, Worthing Guardian, 'etc.' magazine, and Business Matters, how can I help you?

Next response was we didn't need to mention the town names for the free papers, me having a bit of fun, pointed out it was still a mouthful -

"Good Morning Worthing Herald series, Littlehampton Gazette, West Sussex Gazette, Advertiser, Guardian, 'etc.' magazine, and Business Matters, how can I help you?

Then it was suggested we could drop 'Business Matters' as it was a supplement and not a main title, I am still having fun, 'but, that's the title I work on, people calling me would expect me to mention that.'

MD - 'Oh, for God's sake, just answer the bloody phones as 'Sussex Newspapers.'

Me - 'What like we always have?'

MD - 'Yes', as he walked out of the meeting.

I piped up, 'I think it's safe to say that my opening point was indeed correct, I call that a win', everyone just started laughing. :D
 
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