PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[ruffneck23]

I emailed my MP earlier.

Could you please ask Mr Beresford for comment on the following please.

'I emailed you on a few occasions asking you to withdraw your support for Mr Johnson and Mr Cummings in the last few years since 2020. You replied you had great faith in both of them with a belittling and patronising reply.
First Mr Cummings was fired, and now Mr Johnson has now been shown and proven to be a lying charlatan who has no respect for the people of the country and parliament.
So I hope you will publicly apologise to me and any of your other constituency who emailed you trying to warn you of where this was all going.
If a lowly prole like me could see it coming why couldn’t a ‘Sir ‘ like you not see it. I fear it was because it was not in your personal best interests.
Your thoughts?'

and the reply I got from his office

'Thank you for your email which I will pass to Sir Paul.
I’m sure you’ll also be aware that he supported, and continues to support, Rishi Sunak as Prime Minister.
As to your comment about ‘personal best interests’ I can testify that Sir Paul really is not that kind of person, though no doubt you will prefer to think otherwise'

CUNTS and lol all at the same time

 

[chainsawjob]

Great minds...

Heard the news yesterday, just came to post...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

View attachment 378637

 

[a_chap]

A bit of a surprise to find that my little comment on the BBC News story about Johnson is the second most liked one!!

 

[mojo pixy]

So farewell,
Well-known Fantasist "Boris" Johnson
or Lying Sack of Shit.
No fear of libel

 

[scalyboy]

I wonder what a Roman senator would do in a situation where he'd been found to have lied to the Senate, broken Roman law, displayed contempt for the Roman people, and brought lasting shame and dishonour upon his family name?

If only there were a modern politician with a profound knowledge of the Classics who could advise.

What would be the best course of action for a disgraced, flabby, mendacious Icarus who flew too close to the Sun, and - due to his overweening pride, arrogance and hubris - came tumbling down to Earth like a shit, two-bob Lucifer.

I imagine that such a man - shamed and humiliated in front of the Republic and the People - would grasp at the only act of decency left available to him, a final courageous deed that might, in part, offset the stench of the stinking pile of ordure that had been his career. A last bold gesture by a man of destiny - ah yes, he would slink off in a cowardly huff, muttering about witch hunts and threatening to make a triumphal return.
Yes, that'd be it.

 

[gosub]

I wonder what a Roman senator would do in a situation where he'd been found to have lied to the Senate, broken Roman law, displayed contempt for the Roman people, and brought lasting shame and dishonour upon his family name?

If only there were a modern politician with a profound knowledge of the Classics who could advise.

What would be the best course of action for a disgraced, flabby, mendacious Icarus who flew too close to the Sun, and - due to his overweening pride, arrogance and hubris - came tumbling down to Earth like a shit, two-bob Lucifer.

I imagine that such a man - shamed and humiliated in front of the Republic and the People - would grasp at the only act of decency left available to him, a final courageous deed that might, in part, offset the stench of the stinking pile of ordure that had been his career. A last bold gesture by a man of destiny - ah yes, he would slink off in a cowardly huff, muttering about witch hunts and threatening to make a triumphal return.
Yes, that'd be it.

Better he took up botany

 

[Puddy_Tat]

I wonder what a Roman senator would do in a situation where he'd been found to have lied to the Senate, broken Roman law, displayed contempt for the Roman people, and brought lasting shame and dishonour upon his family name?

didn't one roman emperor promote his horse to a high ranking office?

looking at some of the twunts that johnson put in the cabinet, not sure which was better...

 

[Weller]

He's clearly not going to form a new party because he can't square 'man of the people forced out by the elite' with getting massive electoral humpings. I don't think he'll stand for election for anything unless he can wangle himself into a safe Tory seat.

The Rt Hon Sir Gavin Williamson is our M,P a very safe seat 28,000 maj now hes got his knighthood could he perhaps give it up for Boris there's not many jobs left for him to be sacked from

Sadly around here most will vote for anything tory still now regardless and probably why useless Gavin was given the seat in the first place
Theres been gossip and hopefulness in our pub that he may come and semi retire here sort the pot holes out as the one they HAD to vote for "spends his days golfing or visiting animals rather than sorting the roads out since losing his again " etc

If they ever get Boris they will wet themselves the voting turn out would probably be massive they are good mates nothing would surprise me after the last decade of bullshit could they perhaps share the seat as a comedy duo or something

 

[Bingoman]

Open warfare about to commence

Boris Johnson allies vow to oust Tory MPs who back partygate report

Committee investigating former prime minister reveal he would have faced 90-day suspension from Parliament

www.telegraph.co.uk

 

[Ming]

didn't one roman emperor promote his horse to a high ranking office?

looking at some of the twunts that johnson put in the cabinet, not sure which was better...

Caligula. But he was assassinated before he could do it. I'm starting to see some parallels between late stage decadent Rome and the Tories (you can switch them around if you want).

 

[sealion]

As expected, some class remarks.

Superb stuff. She doesn't pull any punches and hits the nail firmly on it's head.

 

[equationgirl]

Skinned alive, rubbed in salt and then fed to maggots.

Maggots only eat dead flesh so you'd need to wait until he went a bit putrid first. Preferably gangrenous.

 

[savoloysam]

Apparently he's has not given up hope of returning as PM. Oh my sides. Ahahhaha

 

[Artaxerxes]

I wonder what a Roman senator would do in a situation where he'd been found to have lied to the Senate, broken Roman law, displayed contempt for the Roman people, and brought lasting shame and dishonour upon his family name?

If only there were a modern politician with a profound knowledge of the Classics who could advise.

What would be the best course of action for a disgraced, flabby, mendacious Icarus who flew too close to the Sun, and - due to his overweening pride, arrogance and hubris - came tumbling down to Earth like a shit, two-bob Lucifer.

I imagine that such a man - shamed and humiliated in front of the Republic and the People - would grasp at the only act of decency left available to him, a final courageous deed that might, in part, offset the stench of the stinking pile of ordure that had been his career. A last bold gesture by a man of destiny - ah yes, he would slink off in a cowardly huff, muttering about witch hunts and threatening to make a triumphal return.
Yes, that'd be it.

Become emperor

 

[kabbes]

I emailed my MP earlier.

Could you please ask Mr Beresford for comment on the following please.

'I emailed you on a few occasions asking you to withdraw your support for Mr Johnson and Mr Cummings in the last few years since 2020. You replied you had great faith in both of them with a belittling and patronising reply.
First Mr Cummings was fired, and now Mr Johnson has now been shown and proven to be a lying charlatan who has no respect for the people of the country and parliament.
So I hope you will publicly apologise to me and any of your other constituency who emailed you trying to warn you of where this was all going.
If a lowly prole like me could see it coming why couldn’t a ‘Sir ‘ like you not see it. I fear it was because it was not in your personal best interests.
Your thoughts?'

and the reply I got from his office

'Thank you for your email which I will pass to Sir Paul.
I’m sure you’ll also be aware that he supported, and continues to support, Rishi Sunak as Prime Minister.
As to your comment about ‘personal best interests’ I can testify that Sir Paul really is not that kind of person, though no doubt you will prefer to think otherwise'

CUNTS and lol all at the same time

If you want to create mischief, you could send all that to the local Lib Dem office, who would make hay with it. The one problem with that is that you would then be helping the Lib Dems, which might simply be a compromise too far.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Open warfare about to commence

Boris Johnson allies vow to oust Tory MPs who back partygate report

Committee investigating former prime minister reveal he would have faced 90-day suspension from Parliament

www.telegraph.co.uk

The seven Tory MPs who indicated publicly they would vote against the report on Mr Johnson were Simon Clarke, Ms Dorries, Brendan Clarke-Smith, Paul Bristow, James Duddridge, Mark Jenkinson and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Only seven

Before he resigned, Sky's Beth Rigby quoted sources in the party that they were only expecting a couple of dozen of their MPs to vote against the report, and a few to abstain. Since he resigned, she has suggested a lot more will abstain, because he's gone, so what's the point in putting a target on your back.

ETA - Here's a link for those without paywall-buster installed - https://archive.ph/6uhQe

 

[cupid_stunt]

The Daily Star has had fun with their front page, as expected, and a good effort from the Metro too.

 

[tim]

Did hear speculation of him starting a new party with Nigel Farage.
.imagine what sort of plane crash that would be

I don't need imagination. I've seen it already

 

[cupid_stunt]

Just to cheer him up, he could be getting fined for not wearing a seat belt now, like Sunak was recently, will these idiots never learn?

Boris Johnson made history by becoming the first prime minister to break the law. Now he could be facing another fixed penalty notice after being photographed driving while apparently not wearing a seatbelt.

Johnson, 58, was photographed sitting next to his mother-in-law, Josephine McAfee, with Dilyn, the former prime minister’s dog, on her lap. They were spotted in his 1995 Toyota Previa on Tuesday pulling up to a traffic light in Richmond upon Thames, southwest London.

A person can be fined up to £500 for not wearing a seatbelt and the government is considering making it punishable by placing points on a licence.

https://archive.ph/Y2zLu#selection-897.0-905.146

 

[cupid_stunt]

Oh, FFS, he going to be doing a weekly column for the Mail, reportedly on a "very high six figure sum".

Johnson to begin new career as columnist, Sky News understands​

Last night, The Daily Mail teased with their front page that an "erudite new columnist" would begin on the newspaper on Saturday.
Considering the paper's comment that it would be "required reading in Westminster", it was widely expected this new addition would be one of three MPs who resigned from their posts on Friday.
Sky News now understands that Boris Johnson is this mystery columnist.
It is understood he will pen a weekly column and, as per POLITICO, the former prime minister is reportedly on a "very high six figure sum".

Politics latest: Tories torn on Johnson partygate report vote - as he gets a new job

Rishi Sunak is facing a potentially acrimonious vote on the Boris Johnson partygate report at the start of next week. A debate and vote on the report, published by the Commons privileges committee on Thursday, will take place on Monday - Mr Johnson's 59th birthday.

news.sky.com

 

[mojo pixy]

So now he's going to try and destroy the tory party from the pages of the fail.

This just gets better and better

 

[cupid_stunt]

So, the debate is on Monday, and I've just discovered it's Johnson's 59th birthday, what a great present.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

View attachment 379400

Free peerage for every reader called Nadine, inside

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

And whilst this is of course funny and all that, to remember what that arsehole did:

Lord Caine, who was appointed as a Northern Ireland minister by Boris Johnson in 2019, said he could understand why people might feel angry about Mr Johnson's conduct, and spoke about his mother's funeral during the pandemic.
"I had to deliver a eulogy to the nine other people in the chapel and then go home, sit on my own, in her house for the rest of the afternoon," he told BBC Northern Ireland's The View politics programme.
"I have never felt so lonely in my life. So I think people might draw their own conclusions about how I feel and I imagine a great many people up and down the country will share those feelings."

Then as Prime Minister went and lied to parliament to cover up his criminal actions. Fuck 90 days and no member's pass, he should be in jail.

 

[Cerv]

Did hear speculation of him starting a new party with Nigel Farage.
.imagine what sort of plane crash that would be

impossible. neither of them would possibly accept being #2 in this party.

 

[dessiato]

I enjoyed this. It rather hit the nail on the head IMO

 

[Kaka Tim]

should be locked up. My joy at watching his dummy spitting is being superseeded by a deep anger at what this fucking shit stain did.

 

[two sheds]

I think Johnson should sue O'Brien for libel If he doesn't then he's admitting what he said there is all true.

 

[marty21]

So, after years of pissing out of the tent, Boris has turned around and is pissing into the tent.

 

[two sheds]

... and all over himself