PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[Storm Fox]

according to johson - "its an undemocratic stich up which is all part of plot to reverse brexit. there is not a shred of evidence that he misled parliament. " I doubt he beilives a word of that . Its a shameless appeal to the swivel eyed within the tory party in a bid to fuck sunack. PLus gives him an audience and keeps him in the news.
Really just a question of how badly it damages the tories.
Looks like he might try to get nominated for nadines old seat - not sure weather that will happen - hiliarious.
Proper pop corn/deck chair stuff. Maybe he will lead a march of the gammons on number 10?

Boris Johnson will take some of the total head-bangers and Labour and the Libs will take the more sensible Tories, so they'll up end up with people like the Major from Fawlty Towers.

And to quote another 70's comedy "Oh Dear, How Sad, Never Mind"

 

[brogdale]

Boris will take some of the total head-bangers and Labour and the Libs will take the more sensible Tories, so they'll up end up with people like the Major from Fawlty Towers.

And to quote another 70's comedy "Oh Dear, How Sad, Never Mind"

Johnson (the cunt).

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

Quite fitting that his resignation involves lying about lying.

 

[two sheds]

So back to his Telegraph column and several years of revenge pieces on Sunak and anyone else who's offended him

 

[SpookyFrank]

Johnson can't be good for Eton's brand. He doesn't even know how to pretend to have any fucking class. It doesn't even occur to him to try.

 

[Kaka Tim]

is him setting up a new party remotely plausible?

 

[SpookyFrank]

I love how he opens by ranting about how he's always told the truth, then opens his next paragraph with an obvious lie, 'I have been an MP since 2001...'

 

[two sheds]

is him setting up a new party remotely plausible?

wouldn't have thought so - too much like hard work

 

[DaveCinzano]

is him setting up a new party remotely plausible?

It will demonstrably be not a party, but simply a straight-forward gathering of people working hard together in difficult circumstances, coincidentally soundtracked by Abba and with peculiarly opaque funding

 

[Karl Masks]

wait a minute. Dories has said there was something bit that happened today compelling her decision to resign.

Boris resigns.

So he's going to stand in her seat?

 

[not-bono-ever]

Cowardly opportunist arsehole

 

[SpookyFrank]

wait a minute. Dories has said there was something bit that happened today compelling her decision to resign.

Boris resigns.

So he's going to stand in her seat?

That would be a deeply weird move but I wouldn't put it past the slimy cunt.

Although tbh I expect he'll enjoy the opportunity to spend more time with his grifting.

 

[bluescreen]

So what's happening? Are they all deserting Sunak or is there an actual scandal? A new one, I mean.

 

[Ming]

How is this a victory? The fat cunt has murdered 200000 and gotten off by walking away. No doubt into a cosy cynosure or gig somewhere. Britain is a fucking joke. He should be fucking hanging from a tree

Agree 1000%. There is no penalty to speak of. And he's probably coming back as an MP or maybe PM. They should be in jail for a long stretch in a proper nasty institution or hanging from lamp posts.

 

[mojo pixy]

The funniest part about this suspension** is that he's so pissed off about it. I'm giggling just imagining him fuming this evening, making desperate calls right, right and centre. Delightful.

** no, I know .. but it would have been if boris penis err johnson hadn't bottled it like a little squinny

 

[Ranbay]

BREAKING! Boris Johnson quits as MP to get a head start on his epic Fathers Day tour

 

[Karl Masks]

That would be a deeply weird move but I wouldn't put it past the slimy cunt.

Although tbh I expect he'll enjoy the opportunity to spend more time with his grifting.

It would be weird, but his statement pretty said he's going to come back.

Who knows with this grifter.

 

[mojo pixy]

With any luck this actual disgrace means he's shit the bed on a post-PM elevation to the Lords too. Aww come on

 

[Cerv]

is him setting up a new party remotely plausible?

organising parties is what got him in to this mess in the first place

 

[Tanya1982]

wouldn't have thought so - too much like hard work

Well obviously he won’t. He’ll just turn up and wing it once it’s done. His entire life’s work is a tutorial presentation scribbled on a fag packet on the bus, on the way in with a hangover.

I refuse to relax and simply enjoy his departure. He’s a nasty bastard. I see no hint he’s going to slink off into the night. He’ll be loving the fact the night has become all about him.

 

[_Russ_]

wait a minute. Dories has said there was something bit that happened today compelling her decision to resign.

Boris resigns.

So he's going to stand in her seat?

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised

 

[domestos]

Need a lot more than 2 to FO to their advisory jobs and directorships to make any difference.

 

[domestos]

So back to his Telegraph column and several years of revenge pieces on Sunak and anyone else who's offended him

From the thing that brought us "Piccaninnies" and "water melon smiles". Wonder what tack Alexander Boris De FFuckwit Johnson will use on Sunak. I don't think its the end for this loathsome braggart, he's still popular with many Tories

 

[Raheem]

wait a minute. Dories has said there was something bit that happened today compelling her decision to resign.

Boris resigns.

So he's going to stand in her seat?

I think he asked her to resign, but I'm not sure that necessarily means that he will take her seat, just that he has that option and can keep his disciples discipling for the time being (he would lose his influence if he had no immediate political future).

 

[danny la rouge]

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised

No, me neither.

Oh, sorry, I thought you said “interested”.

 

[Smangus]

Struggling to contain my belly laugh tbh. Oh well, fuck it

Mwaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

 

[elbows]

It would be weird, but his statement pretty said he's going to come back.

Who knows with this grifter.

Thats how narcissists like him think, he made the same sort of suggestion when he resigned as PM too. His ego requires him to win popularity contests but he'll have to look elsewhere for such hits in future.

He isnt a totally spent force when it comes to a chunk of tory voters but for everyone else he is a spent force when it comes to formal electoral politics and related institutions. I never say never but 'serial winners' arent so useful once they've become losers.

 

[not-bono-ever]

like a baguette sized turd in workplace toilet, this fucker will stink the place out for as long as he walks the earth.

 

[T & P]

‘Be careful what you wish for’ has never been more apt. This is the man not only obsessed with becoming PM for his entire adult life, but once he did had high hopes to become the greatest since Churchill. Even after he’d been pushed out he still entertained the idea of triumphantly returning to the post a second time to fulfil his rightful place in history.

He will now spend the rest of his life wondering what might have been, and knowing he’ll forever be regarded as one of the very worst PMs of all time. That’s going to torment him until the day he dies, and it’s no more than he deserves.

Good.

 

[domestos]

Just noticed Ben Houchen has been ignobled and will soon be resplendent in ermine. Like Johnson he has an eye for a big project and a knack foe wasting tens of millions of pounds. In Johnson's case there was usually nothing to show for it at the end. Houchen has managed to waste all that public money only for most of the assets and potential future income to end up in private hands. A shameful waste of public finance which is sorely needed in other areas. Private Eye has a good podcast episode on it. Having promised to run again for mayor in 2024, the local elections showed him the lie of the land. Another useless Tory waste of space into the Lords then.