PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[phillm]

'There's a lot on at the moment'. That's like someone making an excuse for why they can't go to someone's birthday. Not the leader of a country with the Europe's highest deaths in a world pandemic.

That will be his forthcoming wedding and baby duties as he's decided to reform at last on the love front. He'll phone in or throw a sickie for the rest.

 

[Chilli.s]

He hasn't had a holliday since ooh... Feb. Must be one due.

 

[kenny g]

The poor bugger only has the tiny yard behind no 10 at the mo. How could he or anyone else possibly rehabilitate in this pokey excuse for an 'outside room'?

View attachment 214961

though, now that I look at it again, it does seem to be bigger than my local park

Not too sure about the garden ornaments though:



I would have them scanned for bugs on a daily basis if I were him. Probably a present from Trump on his last visit.

 

[Chilli.s]

Baby Daleks

 

[kenny g]

M

Baby Daleks

I really hope they aren't UK efforts. As bugs they are about as discrete as a sledgehammer and as garden ornaments they are horrific.

 

[kenny g]

Good to see that they will all be well prepared for pentonville though

 

[phillm]

Good to see that they will all be well prepared for pentonville though

View attachment 215062

Turns out Corbyn had a plan(t).

 

[Streathamite]

That was a total carcrash performance by Johnson. I am finding it difficult to believe just how much of a complete and utter bollocks he is making of everything, right now

 

[Septimus Rufiji]

yeah, but he's a character an' that. Ha ha ha, good ol' Bozza...evil msm...draining the swamp...blah blah blah

I'm getting more and more hacked off with the continuing defence of the indefensible. I get that the legion of darkness would rally round to protect one of their spiritual own if the cost to themselves was low but this is really starting to hurt them as a whole, and while some of the minor legionaires are distancing themselves to limit contagion (ha) the well known players are sticking with it. What has al promised them?

 

[ginger_syn]

Slight sidebar but its a shame we don't snail mail anymore ,it would have been nice to see sackloads of complaints turning up at number ten.

 

[not-bono-ever]

I like this

The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons by turner

Juts thought i would stick it up

 

[Mogden]

I don't know why I watch this expecting actual answers to questions.

 

[Throbbing Angel]

He's Trumping it tonight.

Swerved. Questions not answered. Not allowing Witty etc. to answer. Fkn nonsense.

 

[Mogden]

2m is blown out of the water then. Get us back in the park rubbing shoulders with everyone then

 

[Mogden]

Fucking hell, it's the hokey cokey tonight

 

[Mogden]

Blink twice if you need us to rescue you

 

[Mogden]

So our test and trace system is redundant because you can quite easily produce a negative. If you've got a cold at the same time as you contract the virus you might be hot but we'll wave you on as okay cos there's no follow up testing when your symptoms persist.

The thing is if I happen to be shopping at the same time as a moron with corona and they're moving round the supermarket at the same pace as me, I might get the call saying I then need to isolate and I've done everything I can not to contract it. Boris didn't mention/swerved what replaces SSP or what alternative pay will exist if your income is usually much higher. People will not isolate if they think they're getting a gnat's fart of a salary.

 

[equationgirl]

Slight sidebar but its a shame we don't snail mail anymore ,it would have been nice to see sackloads of complaints turning up at number ten.

Who says we can't? It's not like we don't know the address.

 

[equationgirl]

SIX PEOPLE AT ONCE???? Fucking he'll, they're begging for a second peak if they let that many people meet up at once.

 

[Mogden]

SIX PEOPLE AT ONCE???? Fucking he'll, they're begging for a second peak if they let that many people meet up at once.

Imagine the logistics of maintaining a 2m distance from each other, all at the same time

 

[two sheds]

2m hoola hoops i've said it before it's the solution to keeping fit at the same time

 

[Mogden]

2m hoola hoops i've said it before it's the solution to keeping fit at the same time

 

[Pickman's model]

I like this

The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons by turnerView attachment 215104

Juts thought i would stick it up

Auld Turner went to great lengths to get the picture he wanted, he was lucky they never realised he'd set the fire

 

[equationgirl]

Imagine the logistics of maintaining a 2m distance from each other, all at the same time

Some kind of pentagonal arrangement perhaps? Yeah that'll easily work

 

[Mogden]

Some kind of pentagonal arrangement perhaps? Yeah that'll easily work

No problem. Every group of socialites needs to go Wiccan

 

[equationgirl]

No problem. Every group of socialites needs to go Wiccan

Centre isn't marked for person 6.

 

[Pickman's model]

Some kind of pentagonal arrangement perhaps? Yeah that'll easily work

Doesn't have to be pentagonal

 

[Mogden]

Centre isn't marked for person 6.

I expect we'll have pentagonal, with space for a 6th body, floor stickers by the end of next week.

 

[Sprocket.]

Doesn't have to be pentagonal

Someone got their goat?

 

[Roadkill]

2m hoola hoops i've said it before it's the solution to keeping fit at the same time

Alternatively, there's what a bar near where my sister lives in Germany has apparently done, which is to make everyone wear a metre-long tubular balloon on their head, presumably strapped on somehow. It makes all the punters look as if they're walking around with a ginormous penis sticking out of their head, or a bit like the 'nob-head' sign we used to make at people when I was at school.

As for what's been announced today, it looks like a fairly transparent attempt to try and regain control of the narrative, and damn the cost.