PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[agricola]

I'm trying to get some work done so not watching this, but could some kind soul give an impression of how he's doing? Say on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most commanding, polished performance you could possibly imagine, and 1 being ... well, Cummings' statement.

he hasn't admitted to butchering those cats in Croydon yet

 

[maomao]

The obvious thing to do to frustrate him at this point is to pursue a campaign of not installing any app until Cummings is gone. Another unbelievable performance. Another week or two of this and it really will damage him permanently.

 

[neonwilderness]

I'v got fingers crossed that he gets tripped up and fucks cummings. Live on air. Please.

The longer he waffles on the more likely that is

 

[Mogden]

I'm trying to get some work done so not watching this, but could some kind soul give an impression of how he's doing? Say on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most commanding, polished performance you could possibly imagine, and 1 being ... well, Cummings' statement.

They've covered him in goth makeup to stop his telltale flush when he gets all blustered up. That's how good it is

 

[Steel Icarus]

Making this shit up on the fly

 

[Sprocket.]

Hunt. Go on Prime Minister, give us a date!

 

[Lord Camomile]

Oooh, Tory break room is going to be awkward tomorrow.

 

[Calamity1971]

Who's forbidden him to give details?
Sorry, bit thick.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Just a bloated binbag full of blustery bullshit

 

[Steel Icarus]

Who's forbidden him to give details?
Sorry, bit thick.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

 

[Sprocket.]

Hunt is shaping up as Brutus.

He will be ordering a Fairburn-Sykes Commando knife from Amazon later.

 

[agricola]

The obvious thing to do to frustrate him at this point is to pursue a campaign of not installing any app until Cummings is gone. Another unbelievable performance. Another week or two of this and it really will damage him permanently.

The problem is that nowhere near enough people are watching this. For example that answer to test/track/trace strongly suggests that they made a decision not to do it, not that they didn't have the capacity so couldn't do it - people might understand the second one but the first is a decision that will have caused thousands of deaths. However it might not be something that the media pick up (though it absolutely should)

 

[not a trot]

Did the NHS really need to save this cunts life ?

 

[Mogden]

Who's forbidden him to give details?
Sorry, bit thick.

Bollocks. They've told him to not overpromise and he's telling him that way.

 

[agricola]

Hunt is shaping up as Brutus.

of course, like Brutus he has a considerable personal responsibility for the state of affairs that exists

 

[Steel Icarus]

Just about everything Hunt asked, Johnson claimed have already been done.


Like a kid who hasn't got his homework but I did it last night, just left it at home

 

[Lord Camomile]

The problem is that nowhere near enough people are watching this. For example that answer to test/track/trace strongly suggests that they made a decision not to do it, not that they didn't have the capacity so couldn't do it - people might understand the second one but the first is a decision that will have caused thousands of deaths. However it might not be something that the media pick up (though it absolutely should)

Yeah, I was thinking the only hope is that it gets picked up by the dreaded 'Mainstream Media'. Evil bastards that they are.

 

[tim]

I'm trying to get some work done so not watching this, but could some kind soul give an impression of how he's doing? Say on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most commanding, polished performance you could possibly imagine, and 1 being ... well, Cummings' statement.

Floundering in front of a panel of unimpressed headteachers: infinitely worse than Cummings

 

[Lord Camomile]

Like a kid who hasn't got his homework but I did it last night, just left it at home

I once claimed I'd brought "the wrong draft" in

 

[ruffneck23]

Who's forbidden him to give details?
Sorry, bit thick.

Mr Cummings

 

[Sprocket.]

Who's forbidden him to give details?
Sorry, bit thick.

The ghost (reanimated head) of Keith Joseph?

 

[Steel Icarus]

I once claimed I'd brought "the wrong draft" in

I had to send my lad to school with a note explaining the dog had genuinely eaten his homework. Jazzed it up a bit, heard it was passed around the staff room

 

[Lord Camomile]

Superb

 

[Lucy Fur]

he hasn't admitted to butchering those cats in Croydon yet

But they're getting a supply to throw on the table from somewhere...

 

[oryx]

Whack-a-mole tactics!

 

[Mogden]

 

[Lord Camomile]

Oh, that's kinda brilliant

 

[Petcha]

So. I now appear to be on the same side as Piers Morgan and Jeremy Hunt. This is unreal.

 

[Lord Camomile]

So. I now appear to be on the same side as Piers Morgan and Jeremy Hunt. This is unreal.

Rest assured, they find themselves on the same side as you/us, because it's convenient for their careers.

 

[Roadkill]

Floundering in front of a panel of unimpressed headteachers: infinitely worse than Cummings

I did wonder if I'd set the lower bar a bit high!