Local Newspaper Headlines!

[T & P]

Stuff

www.stuff.co.nz

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[quiet guy]

Poor Barry, that must hurt.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Applications are welcomed from people wanting to be photographed pointing at the new bin.

 

[cupid_stunt]

What a classic photo.

Wolverhampton greengrocer, 81, worried he'll have to end life-long passion due to supermarket competition

John Holt took over the community's trusty greengrocers in Wolverhampton almost 30 years ago and has spent much of his life at local markets sourcing the freshest produce to make available for families across the city.

www.expressandstar.com

 

[seeformiles]

View attachment 441096

Applications are welcomed from people wanting to be photographed pointing at the new bin.

A budget Dalek

 

[Indeliblelink]

pointing at the new bin.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Fame for Cork's crazy '3 yard bike lane that sends you head-first into planter'

International cycling forum shares Leeside's shortest stretch of active travel route

www.corkbeo.ie

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[T & P]

It’s all kicking off in Wolstanton

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[T & P]

Loving the contemptuous use of quotation marks and condescending sub-headline here, and more so as it is the very paper the woman contacted to tell her story, which they chose to publish rather than simply ignore

Woman shares frustration over 'missing' M&S bread

The Leicestershire resident does not think it is acceptable

www.leicestermercury.co.uk

 

[petee]

Croissant-shaped lamp bought on Temu turns out to be an actual croissant

'The ants were going in the hole,' she explained. 'So I just poked a bigger hole.'

metro.co.uk

Croissant-shaped lamp bought on Temu turns out to be an actual croissant​

 

[cupid_stunt]

Homeowner disgusted as ‘man defecates on driveway and uses plant to wipe’

An Oxfordshire homeowner was left disgusted after a man defecated on their driveway before using a plant to wipe.

www.witneygazette.co.uk

“To the tall drunk guy taking a dump at the end of my drive late last night and wiping with my Philodendron (probably thought it was a doc leaf),” they said.

“I have you on my Ring doorbell.”

I would be pissed off too, but...

 

[andysays]

Homeowner disgusted as ‘man defecates on driveway and uses plant to wipe’

An Oxfordshire homeowner was left disgusted after a man defecated on their driveway before using a plant to wipe.

www.witneygazette.co.uk

I would be pissed of too, but...

Would he be more or less disgusted if the perp didn't bother to wipe?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Let's have a moment with the Royals.

Elizabeth II: Statue of queen, Philip and corgis sparks debate

The council's deputy mayor says people are entitled to their opinions of the statue at Antrim Castle.

www.bbc.co.uk

No need for a debate, they are shit.

Antrim and Newtownabbey councillor Vera McWilliam told BBC News NI: “We have to be honest, it does not resemble the queen in any shape or form.”

Richard from Antrim said he was "really disappointed" after seeing the statue online and then coming to see it with his wife.

"Whoever signed that off needs their eyes tested. It's not good," he added.

 

[two sheds]

Doris Bonkers with Sid just before she went down the supermarket for some oven chips.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Then, just along the coast from me, there's this horror.

The four-bedroom property in Viaduct Road features a giant mural of Princes William and Harry dressed as characters from Breaking Bad which sprawls across the entire façade of the terraced house and its neighbouring property. The bizarre image is accompanied by “breaking up” and “we are the danger”, alluding to the royal brothers’ estrangement.

Estate Agent John Hilton makes no mention of the graffitied façade adorning the £425,000 property in the online advertisement, but describes it as the “ideal investment opportunity” situated in a “popular location for students” and close to the “vibrant Preston Circus.”

I guess he's to embarrassed.

House with giant mural of Prince Harry and Prince William up for sale

Potential buyers can now get their hands on one of the most unusual houses in Brighton as it lands on the market.

www.theargus.co.uk

 

[PTK]

Doris Bonkers with Sid just before she went down the supermarket for some oven chips.

No, that is the famous occasion on which Sid and Doris Bonkers ventured a critical opinion of Neasden FC.

 

[T & P]

Then, just along the coast from me, there's this horror.

View attachment 442171



I guess he's to embarrassed.

House with giant mural of Prince Harry and Prince William up for sale

Potential buyers can now get their hands on one of the most unusual houses in Brighton as it lands on the market.

www.theargus.co.uk

I didn't know Prince Harry and Nicolas Cage were mates...

 

[andysays]

I didn't know Prince Harry and Nicolas Cage were mates...

They were previously mates, but apparently they've had a serious falling out...

 

[Boo Radley75]

Let's have a moment with the Royals.

Elizabeth II: Statue of queen, Philip and corgis sparks debate

The council's deputy mayor says people are entitled to their opinions of the statue at Antrim Castle.

www.bbc.co.uk

View attachment 442170

No need for a debate, they are shit.

Ma Larkin from the Darling Buds of May, looks pretty realistic but other than the eyebrows, they've done a shit job on the Brigadier

 

[T & P]

Couple banned from even looking at their neighbour's home have charges dropped

It's the picture that makes it

 

[Puddy_Tat]

BBC not local newspaper but

Police minister's purse stolen at police conference

oops

 

[cupid_stunt]

I try Leicester's 'Happy to Chat' bench but am left alone

The Castle Gardens initiative left me trying not to look deranged

www.leicestermercury.co.uk

In Castle Gardens in Leicester city centre, the council has put a "Happy to Chat" sign on one of the benches making it a handy place to go if you want to make friends. It's clearly a nice thing. But also a bit weird.

I'd been heading out to spend a morning in court when my editor sent a message suggesting I go and sit on the bench on my way home later to see if anyone talks to me. So at lunchtime on the hottest day of the year so far I take a stroll to the park, sit down on the bench in the shade of a tree and wait.

I try to be friendly-looking - but not too desperate. I remember a joke about how if someone gets on a train and you don't want them to sit next to you, just smile directly at them while patting the empty seat beside you.

At the 24-minute mark I get a message from my editor: "Is everyone ignoring you?" Yes they are, just like you probably knew they would. After half an hour I give up and go home.

One thing about the solo passers-by I had noticed was that pretty much every single one of them was either looking down at their phone or else chatting on their phone. Maybe that was my mistake?

What did they make of a man sitting on a bench not looking at his phone? I'm sure many of them thought: "Who's this phoneless idiot? What kind of freak sits on a bench, just sitting there, staring at nothing? And doesn't he notice that stink of urine?"

The British way.

 

[Boo Radley75]

View attachment 442787

I try Leicester's 'Happy to Chat' bench but am left alone

The Castle Gardens initiative left me trying not to look deranged

www.leicestermercury.co.uk

The British way.

We have one of them in my town. You don't need to actually sit on it to have a chat with a stranger, the drunks and junkies who inhabit it are more than happy to yell abuse at you, simply for just walking along, past it, minding your own business. It's clearly been such a resounding success, the council have put in several more benches there.

 

[bluescreen]

 

[farmerbarleymow]

View attachment 442833

There have been older moggies.

Creme Puff (cat) - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[bluescreen]

Yes, but they were already dead.

 

[T & P]

Every news of a deceased kitty, no matter how old they were, is a sad and solemn occasion