Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Puddy_Tat]

Shropshire residents hit out at plans for penis-shaped estate

Residents brand the design ridiculous and absurd, joking it is a "flop".

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[T & P]

At least any potholes that form within that estate will be repaired immediately by the council.

 

[cupid_stunt]

At least any potholes that form within that estate will be repaired immediately by the council.

And, on the subject of potholes...

'Absolute madness': Double yellow lines painted across potholes

Council workers have come under fire after painting double yellow lines through the centre of potholes instead of repairing them

www.dailyecho.co.uk

Council workers have come under fire after painting double yellow lines across potholes instead of fixing them.

People living at Avenue Road in Lymington thought the craters were going to be repaired when the route was closed for repairs.
They were astonished when the road reopened and the holes were still there - complete with wobbly lines.

The town mayor, Cllr Jack Davies, has spoken out about the 'scandalous' situation.

He said: "I warned Hampshire County Council that they needed to repair the potholes before they painted double yellow lines.

"That they knew this and still went ahead and painted over the potholes is ridiculous. It's a scandalous waste of taxpayers' money."

 

[two sheds]

At least any potholes that form within that estate will be repaired immediately by the council.

or have a verge planted in them

 

[petee]

my kind of criminal

Italian burglar caught after sitting down with book - BBC News

The would-be thief became distracted after picking up a book about Greek mythology on a bedside table.

www.bbc.com

The 38-year-old reportedly gained access to a flat in the Italian capital's Prati district via the balcony but became distracted after picking up a book about Homer's Iliad on a bedside table.
The 71-year-old homeowner is said to have awoken and confronted the alleged thief, who was engrossed in the book.

...

Mr Nucci said his personal favourite deity was Hermes, the god of thieves.
"He is also the god of literature. It is clear: everything fits," he joked.

 

[Boo Radley75]

Slow week in my town. Main news being that some guy has got fined 5K for filling in a drainage ditch -

Harlow man faces court costs of £5,000 over enforcement notice in Tye Green Village - Your Harlow

A HARLOW man faces court costs of £5,000 after pleading guilty in relation to an enforcement notice in relation to a ditch. Mukesh Popat, aged 58, of Broadway, Tye Green […]

www.yourharlow.com

 

[cupid_stunt]

One of those classic local newspaper pointing photos.

Children unable to play on fields as council leaves grass 'uncut this year'

Children have not able to play on Glenmead field this summer because the grass not reportedly been cut in 2024

www.birminghammail.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

https://www.thestar.co.uk/news/traffic-and-travel/sheffield-man-bewildered-by-road-lines-painted-over-waste-cardboard-4755453

A Sheffield man has shared his bewilderment after contractors painted a road line over a loose piece of cardboard left at the side of the street.

Michael Wragg, from Oughtibridge, spotted the error on Jawbone Hill on Thursday, August 22, and shared the images to social media.

“Look at this,” he said, “bloody lazy... couldn’t even be arsed to move cardboard while laying white lines on the freshly surfaced road on Jawbone Hill. Unbelievable.”

 

[cupid_stunt]

A turd world problem...

A POLICE investigation has now been launched after Borough of Poole signs were allegedly vandalised.

Earlier this month, the welcome to Poole signs in Hamworthy, Branksome and on the Wessex Way were all altered to read ‘Welcome to Poo’, with the letters LE rubbed out or removed.

Along with this, signs at Sainsbury’s, Poole Quay Hotel and a Welcome to Poole Harbour sign were also tampered with.

Poole residents Joe Foale-Groves and Gagandeep Jhuti claimed they were behind this and said they targeted the signs to bring awareness to sewage discharges.

Police investigation launched into 'Borough of Poo' signs

A police investigation has now been launched after Borough of Poole signs were allegedly vandalised.

www.bournemouthecho.co.uk

 

[Storm Fox]

A turd world problem...



View attachment 440204

Police investigation launched into 'Borough of Poo' signs

A police investigation has now been launched after Borough of Poole signs were allegedly vandalised.

www.bournemouthecho.co.uk

I assume the police are investigating the dumping of shit into Poole Harbour and Bournemouth Bay and not trivial vandalisation.

 

[T & P]

 

[cupid_stunt]

Drivers have been left baffled over a confusing sign at a Pitlochry car park.

‘No extry’ has been painted at the entrance – or exit – of Rie-Achan Road car park in the Perthshire town.

The paintwork has been generating confusion among local residents and beyond on social media.

Pitlochry motorists baffled by car park's 'no extry' sign

Perth and Kinross Council has apologised for the Schrödinger message.

www.thecourier.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Angry man points at Sky.



Cookridge resident Rob Fountain point up towards the LBA flight path.

People living under Leeds Bradford flight path speak out on £200m expansion

Locals have spoken out as Leeds Bradford Airport faces a huge expansion

www.leeds-live.co.uk

 

[quiet guy]

Think the t-shirt design needs altering to the sp***king cock

 

[JimW]

View attachment 440412

Pitlochry motorists baffled by car park's 'no extry' sign

Perth and Kinross Council has apologised for the Schrödinger message.

www.thecourier.co.uk

Extry means extry

 

[cupid_stunt]

Slow news day in Worthing...

Car windscreen smashed in early hours of the morning

A car windscreen was smashed in Worthing.

www.theargus.co.uk

...police are looking into it.

 

[hash tag]

Sounds like the hygiene inspectors got to the bottom of things

Pub food handlers told not to 'scratch backsides'

A food handler was observed repeatedly scratching his bottom during a food hygiene inspection.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Startup Alarmed When Its AI Starts Rickrolling Clients

We've reached a new milestone in the uncanny valley, folks: artificial intelligence is now Rickrolling humans.

futurism.com

"Literally f*cking Rickrolling our customers."​

Here's the post from twitter.

 

[T & P]

Startup Alarmed When Its AI Starts Rickrolling Clients

We've reached a new milestone in the uncanny valley, folks: artificial intelligence is now Rickrolling humans.

futurism.com

"Literally f*cking Rickrolling our customers."​

Here's the post from twitter.

That’s amazing, but also yet another massive red flag about our soon-to-be AI overlords

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[T & P]

View attachment 440641

Not as disturbing as a new nursery, though…

 

[T & P]

Meanwhile, it seems they still point at planes in the Provinces

 

[T & P]

'Vagina' corrected to 'Virginia' in magazine

Stickers have been used to cover up a typo in the latest edition of Aurigny’s inflight magazine after Golden Virginia rolling tobacco was accidentally listed as 'Golden Vagina', the production company

gsy.bailiwickexpress.com

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Meanwhile, it seems they still point at planes in the Provinces

View attachment 440648

There are pretty regular stories in the local rag about this sort of stuff, like when Chinooks are doing some exercises in the area. I'm sure some people are interested but guess most don't care.

 

[seeformiles]

Angry man points at Sky.

View attachment 440414

Cookridge resident Rob Fountain point up towards the LBA flight path.

People living under Leeds Bradford flight path speak out on £200m expansion

Locals have spoken out as Leeds Bradford Airport faces a huge expansion

www.leeds-live.co.uk

We lived under the LBA flight path for 12 years. Now we can view it from 2 miles away. In your face Hitler!

 

[cupid_stunt]

Naked neighbour ‘put me off men’

The victim of garden pervert Paul Darlow – who told a court he had put her off men and sausages for life – has told how she still suffers flashbacks.

www.getreading.co.uk

The victim of garden pervert Paul Darlow – who told a court he had put her off men and sausages for life – has told how she still suffers flashbacks.

Denise Woodage saw oddball Darlow pleasuring himself in his back garden in Churchwood Walk, Calcot, and frequently spotted him going about his chores naked – save for a pair of boots.

I know I shouldn't laugh, but 'put off men and sausages for life.'

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[T & P]

“using her fists in scientific fashion”

 

[danny la rouge]

“to the delight of several colliers who were passing”

 

[JimW]

“using her fists in scientific fashion”

The sweet science!