Local Newspaper Headlines!

[UrbaneFox]

Chinese man inserts live eel up rectum to cure constipation, almost dies | New Straits Times

HONG KONG: Doctors in southern China have removed a half-metre live eel from the stomach of a middle-aged man who inserted the elongated fish in himself, supposedly as a folk remedy for constipation, according to a local newspaper.

www.nst.com.my

It's all about him.

What about the poor eel?

 

[fishfinger]

...What about the poor eel?

It's still gargling neat Listerine

 

[seeformiles]

Not local but probably the best place to put it

German pensioner given hefty fine for WW2 tank in house

The 82 year old is given a suspended sentence and fined €250,000 (£213,469).

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Not local but probably the best place to put it

German pensioner given hefty fine for WW2 tank in house

The 82 year old is given a suspended sentence and fined €250,000 (£213,469).

www.bbc.co.uk

It was yesterday.

Last post, on the last page.

 

[petee]

Iceberg Wall Collapses at Titanic Museum in Tennessee

The Pigeon Forge Police Department said in a statement that the collapse appears to be accidental.

www.bloomberg.com

“Needless to say, we never would have expected an incident like this to occur"

well they're being true to the Titanic experience

 

[Petcha]

More on the bull... Even a honey trap failed

Cow gal pal not enough to entice runaway bull on Long Island

The roughly 1,500-pound animal busted out of a farm on Barnes Road in Manorville on Tuesday morning by breaking through a fence, police said. It was scheduled to be slaughtered the next day, Newsda…

nypost.com

“She was mooing and out there,” Frank Floridia, president of Strong Island Animal Rescue, told The Post of the bovine temptress.

“The scent was there, and despite the amazing efforts of the team, he didn’t show up

 

[MysteryGuest]

 

[MysteryGuest]

 

[dessiato]

Not a local headline. Terrible news though.

Boris Johnson ‘nearly swept out to sea during Scottish holiday’

PM came close to ‘catastrophe’ off north-west coast last year, according to report

www.independent.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Not a local headline. Terrible news though.

Boris Johnson ‘nearly swept out to sea during Scottish holiday’

PM came close to ‘catastrophe’ off north-west coast last year, according to report

www.independent.co.uk

So, he nearly died from covid, now he's nearly drowned, fingers crossed for third time lucky.

Oh, and another near miss.

Mr Johnson was supposed to take a two-week holiday with his partner Carrie, their son and their dog Dilyn. But the trip was cut short when the Daily Mail revealed photographs of the rental cottage and social media users quickly identified its location.

Mr Johnson and his team feared he and the family could be “mobbed by Scottish nationalists,” officials told reporters at the time.

 

[Ground Elder]

Thumbs up to convert Lakeland Miniature Village back to residential use

PLANS to convert a miniature village and oriental gardens back to residential use have been approved

 

[MrSki]

 

[Steel Icarus]

Not exactly in the local paper but definitely local to me.

One word, I think you'll agree, changes the whole piece.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I would buy it.

 

[dessiato]

Not exactly in the local paper but definitely local to me.

One word, I think you'll agree, changes the whole piece.

View attachment 282834

I think I know that building. It’s the only massage parlour I know of that fits that description. No, I’ve not visited it, but it will be well known to any NE Lincs Urbs.

 

[Steel Icarus]

I think I know that building. It’s the only massage parlour I know of that fits that description. No, I’ve not visited it, but it will be well known to any NE Lincs Urbs.

Course you do, it's opposite Knauf

 

[Badgers]

Passers-by noticed the water frothing over and causing havoc in the area near the clock tower and nearby shops.

Photos show fountain frothing over after it was 'filled with washing-up liquid'

It cost the council £170 to clear up

www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk

 

[MrSki]

View attachment 283111

Photos show fountain frothing over after it was 'filled with washing-up liquid'

It cost the council £170 to clear up

www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk

I remember this happening a lot where I lived in 70s

 

[existentialist]

I remember this happening a lot where I lived in 70s

There was a water feature outside Fine Fare in Tolworth which was regularly turned into a frothing torrent...

 

[hitmouse]

I feel like I'm in danger of becoming someone who only posts about human remains, but:

Sacked Berwick gravedigger's book promises to tell all on battles with bosses

A tell-all book is set for release, detailing the battles between two Berwick gravediggers and Northumberland County Council after they were accused of burying people in the wrong graves

www.chroniclelive.co.uk

This story has outstanding Viz energy.

 

[Storm Fox]

I feel like I'm in danger of becoming someone who only posts about human remains, but:

Sacked Berwick gravedigger's book promises to tell all on battles with bosses

A tell-all book is set for release, detailing the battles between two Berwick gravediggers and Northumberland County Council after they were accused of burying people in the wrong graves

www.chroniclelive.co.uk

This story has outstanding Viz energy.

Well he does know where the bodies are buried. I just hope he does have too many skeletons in the closet himself.

 

[Badgers]

Ice cream van firm banned from Lowestoft street over noise complaint

Lamarti's vans are forbidden from entering one street after complaints about noise.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[seeformiles]

I suspect this chap (if serious) drastically lowers the average IQ of any area he visits

Grimsby's man's Loch Ness Monster 'disappointment'

'We travelled 400 miles from Grimsby to see the Loch Ness monster and it didn't show up'

www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

 

[dessiato]

I suspect this chap (if serious) drastically lowers the average IQ of any area he visits

Grimsby's man's Loch Ness Monster 'disappointment'

'We travelled 400 miles from Grimsby to see the Loch Ness monster and it didn't show up'

www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

It’s Grimsby.

 

[Storm Fox]

'Uluru was shit, waited around for hours for the Drop Bears and all I saw was this bloody rock'

 

[Steel Icarus]

I suspect this chap (if serious) drastically lowers the average IQ of any area he visits

Grimsby's man's Loch Ness Monster 'disappointment'

'We travelled 400 miles from Grimsby to see the Loch Ness monster and it didn't show up'

www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk

Props to writer Mark Page for use of the word cryptid, though. Far beyond the usual standard of Grimsby Telegraph journalism.

 

[hitmouse]

North East mum says speed of Aldi cashier left her 'crying and shaking'

Customers in the store were left 'gawping' during the confrontation

www.chroniclelive.co.uk

 

[Badgers]

Couple's disgust as takeaway chicken nuggets covered in brown 'substance'

Rory and Victoria found the shocking discovery after they ordered a meal from Dino's Takeaway in Blackpool. The owner said he can't understand what the substance is or how it got there

www-mirror-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]