how mental do you feel??

[lazythursday]

I had a bit of a meltdown a few days ago. Just felt so trapped. Not even sure where I wanted to go, I'm not a big socialiser these days, but I am missing being able to get on public transport and pottering around various places. Being in one place all day every day is sending me loopy. And there is something I've always noticed when I've gone through periods of depression in the past, the less you do each day, the harder it is to achieve even the smallest thing.

 

[sovereignb]

Same for me, I've become pretty much unemployed and I'm losing money which I knew would happen, but having nothing to do has driven me to drink and general listlessness.
I try to use my time to do something, but this whole limbo state just makes it so hard not to slip into depression

Well I hope you find some comfort in that your're not the only one. I tend to feel like a real bum when im not working. I do contract work and event security p/t, so am normally covered when contracts end. But with that industry on hold, well, ive not been like this...ever. The feeling of "well what the fuck am I gonna do today then" can be quite depressing.

Ah yes, the drink. Trust me I get it...can forget all your worries with a brew right Today I said if I don't have enough money in my wallet then I'm not buying...and I didn't. Dunno if you can use that same "logic"?

And if anyone is in a position to buy a bicycle, I will say its definitely helped with lifting mood.

 

[ash]

I am absolutely fucking knackered. I’m struggling to give a fuck about lockdown compared to how bloody exhausting it is to be working what feels like two full time jobs. If I’m not on a 30 degree ward with kids in varying amounts of distress or boredom, I’m at home trying to oversee home school whilst cooking, cleaning, washing, and occasionally putting dog food down, whilst dealing with kids in varying degrees of distress or boredom.

That said there’s worse things than being knackered.

Totally get this Edie its bloody knackering isn’t it. I’m WFH with only one teen but I feel like walking out and never coming back. I’m so pissed of with it all. Your doing a bloody good job we all are in this shitty situation. Fuck 2020

 

[Edie]

Same for me, I've become pretty much unemployed and I'm losing money which I knew would happen, but having nothing to do has driven me to drink and general listlessness.
I try to use my time to do something, but this whole limbo state just makes it so hard not to slip into depression

There ya go, just as I said. There’s situations much worse than being knackered. Sorry to you and sovereignb

 

[freakydave]

There ya go, just as I said. There’s situations much worse than being knackered. Sorry to you and sovereignb

 

[sovereignb]

how you doing?

 

[freakydave]

how you doing?

It's swings and roundabouts. I was drunk again which I really need to stop but I've had some good news about getting back to work.

You do just have to keep on keeping on. The whole thing with this virus is we don't know when or if it's going to end so of course I think about all of the mistakes I made during normal time, but I know that is just my brain being a dick lol

How about you?

 

[sovereignb]

It's swings and roundabouts. I was drunk again which I really need to stop but I've had some good news about getting back to work.

You do just have to keep on keeping on. The whole thing with this virus is we don't know when or if it's going to end so of course I think about all of the mistakes I made during normal time, but I know that is just my brain being a dick lol

How about you?

Pretty much the same, except replace drink with green. Being mindful to control it.
Nothing definite on work unfortunately. Seems to be lots of adverts, not much hiring...though at least some have are courteous enough to say things have been put on hold. Online course has kept me occupied last two days at least.

Hope the opportunity goes well

 

[Shechemite]

off topic I know but I’m finding it really fucking hard to think at the moment.

Since then a friend has committed suicide, another was sectioned, after being bullied by her (NHS) manager (she has since been discharged and is doing much better). I’ve gone back on anti-psychotics (albeit at a tiny dose).

I’m managing to keep away from cigarettes (live with a smoker atm so not easy) and alcohol (no one really drinks in my household). The quetiapine was suggested by my CPN, who fair play to him (he’s a lovely guy) is putting in a pretty substantial care package request.

Been having some difficult conversations with my family about the future, which is a good thing tbh.

Feel less mental than have done for a while atm. I’m appreciating that.

 

[Shechemite]

I share a lot less on here than I used to. It’s a shame, it’s not a bad board

 

[Mation]

Sorry for the loss of your friend, MadeInBedlam x

 

[Shechemite]

Cheers

 

[RubyToogood]

I feel significantly less mental for having been able to see friends a bit more.

 

[cyril_smear]

aye, still feel like i'm losing the plot.

 

[May Kasahara]

I have reached an almost transcendental state of boredom.

 

[cyril_smear]

I have reached an almost transcendental state of boredom.

I think it's maybe a little bit late to suggest looking for a new hobby now. I've a feeling after the first weekend in August everything will be back to normal. I mean it pretty much is back to normal because everybody got effed off with it and it went out the window after the Barnard castle thing anyway, but we will get the official nod.

 

[existentialist]

It's not the sort of thing I'd have been comfortable admitting to 3 months ago, but...loneliness. It bites.

 

[cyril_smear]

It's not the sort of thing I'd have been comfortable admitting to 3 months ago, but...loneliness. It bites.

I know nothing about your circumstances obvioulsy, but are you not getting out to see people now that restrictions have been eased a bit?

 

[existentialist]

I know nothing about your circumstances obvioulsy, but are you not getting out to see people now that restrictions have been eased a bit?

A few. But I think it's actually made me realise that my brave insistence that I'm totally happy in my "lone wolf" role - independent, self-supporting, self-sufficient for EVERYTHING - has been a bit of a lie. I like to think that it may also be a recognition that I am sufficiently far down the road of disentangling myself from my last marriage that I'm starting to have...expectations. Hmm.

It's probably because it's a kind of limbo, now - yes, there are people I can see (though one or two of the more available, eg, the ex-formerly-known-as-Mrs-E, aren't people I want to see), but it's not quite at the stage when I can get out there and start seeing whether I can fulfil those expectations.

Meanwhile, I'm making the best of Zoom/WhatsApp chats with various friends, and reminding myself that it doesn't have to be like this forever.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Watched an article on a couple with Downs Syndrome who got married and I burst in to tears. Not something that normally happens.

Hundreds watch campaigner's wedding live stream

 

[cyril_smear]

A few. But I think it's actually made me realise that my brave insistence that I'm totally happy in my "lone wolf" role - independent, self-supporting, self-sufficient for EVERYTHING - has been a bit of a lie. I like to think that it may also be a recognition that I am sufficiently far down the road of disentangling myself from my last marriage that I'm starting to have...expectations. Hmm.

It's probably because it's a kind of limbo, now - yes, there are people I can see (though one or two of the more available, eg, the ex-formerly-known-as-Mrs-E, aren't people I want to see), but it's not quite at the stage when I can get out there and start seeing whether I can fulfil those expectations.

Meanwhile, I'm making the best of Zoom/WhatsApp chats with various friends, and reminding myself that it doesn't have to be like this forever.

I'm very much the same; always said I'm happy to be on my own and I have a few ''friends'' I can see when I want, emphasis on when I want. But when that option was pulled away from us, literally overnight, I soon found out I'm actually not so happy with that situation. I've been fortunate that my parents said I could stay with them, as long as I pay my way, during lock down because my place isn't quite ready just yet; it's more of a shell at the moment... but you know, I can't exactly have a sesh with my parents can I.

 

[Mation]

Watched an article on a couple with Downs Syndrome who got married and I burst in to tears. Not something that normally happens.

Hundreds watch campaigner's wedding live stream

You (senti)mental thing, you

 

[existentialist]

I'm very much the same; always said I'm happy to be on my own and I have a few ''friends'' I can see when I want, emphasis on when I want. But when that option was pulled away from us, literally overnight, I soon found out I'm actually not so happy with that situation. I've been fortunate that my parents said I could stay with them, as long as I pay my way, during lock down because my place isn't quite ready just yet; it's more of a shell at the moment... but you know, I can't exactly have a sesh with my parents can I.

It's certainly made me re-evaluate my own priorities...

 

[existentialist]

DP (fucking broadband)

 

[BristolEcho]

Hmmm. I've been struggling more with the partial lockdown. Went on a 24 hour session on my own this weekend. It was enjoyable, but not sure if I'll think that tomorrow.

I don't know what I feel at the moment. The world is still pretty weird and nothing I would enjoy doing is going to be back on. That feeling of being trapped by glass is a good summing up. Everything's there but I just can't quite touch it. Boredom also becoming a problem I suspect and not helped by my shoulder injury further limiting me.

Still, I am able to work and I think I'll see friends next week so that's better than nothing!

 

[freakydave]

wake up with 7 youtubes open

'oh, i'm one of those people'

 

[Aladdin]

Not the best.
Back is fucked for the past 3 weeks. Excruciating pain for 4 ir 5 hours every morning. Easing off by mid afternoon. Awful pains running down the front of my thighs too.
My brain is on overdrive thinking I have cancer.

And the few times I really needed the car it fucking died. When mum had the heart attack. When dad needed a lift to hospital. When I needed to get to the dr. The bloody car wouldnt start. New 12 v battery went in in March. And the garage was unable to explain why my car kept dying. I ended up calling the AA three times. The AA guy last time said straight out "Its the hybrids.. they're having problems in lockdown..take it back to dealer".
It's small potatoes compared to other problems but I think it just has been the last straw.
Plus there are no clear guidelines about returning to work. Bar the union telling us schools will open fully for everyone and not to expect social distancing in classrooms between teachers and students. Social distancing will only be among staff. So when a student decides to beat me up I can be confident that my colleagues will maintian social distance and shout from the sidelines.
Also...union says no masks .. they might upset students and inhibit communication. But the same union is looking for panels of 1000s of substitute teachers as they expect there will be lots of absences of teachers due to covid19 once we go back..

Fucking depressing.

 

[danski]

Not the best.
Back is fucked for the past 3 weeks. Excruciating pain for 4 ir 5 hours every morning. Easing off by mid afternoon. Awful pains running down the front of my thighs too.
My brain is on overdrive thinking I have cancer.

And the few times I really needed the car it fucking died. When mum had the heart attack. When dad needed a lift to hospital. When I needed to get to the dr. The bloody car wouldnt start. New 12 v battery went in in March. And the garage was unable to explain why my car kept dying. I ended up calling the AA three times. The AA guy last time said straight out "Its the hybrids.. they're having problems in lockdown..take it back to dealer".
It's small potatoes compared to other problems but I think it just has been the last straw.
Plus there are no clear guidelines about returning to work. Bar the union telling us schools will open fully for everyone and not to expect social distancing in classrooms between teachers and students. Social distancing will only be among staff. So when a student decides to beat me up I can be confident that my colleagues will maintian social distance and shout from the sidelines.
Also...union says no masks .. they might upset students and inhibit communication. But the same union is looking for panels of 1000s of substitute teachers as they expect there will be lots of absences of teachers due to covid19 once we go back..

Fucking depressing.

Sorry your having a shitty time of it
Have you considered an osteopath for your back?

 

[Aladdin]

Sorry your having a shitty time of it
Have you considered an osteopath for your back?

I'm cocooning. As I am in the very high risk category. So I've not even been to a shop. I wont let an osteopath near my back. I was diagnosed with a bulging disk 6 years ago which caused problems at the time and which righted itself out of the blue when I moved a certain way. But this pain is different. If there is no improvement in 2 weeks I'll see the dr. I am literally terrified of going anywhere because I have basically no resistance to infection

 

[danski]

I'm cocooning. As I am in the very high risk category. So I've not even been to a shop. I wont let an osteopath near my back. I was diagnosed with a bulging disk 6 years ago which caused problems at the time and which righted itself out of the blue when I moved a certain way. But this pain is different. If there is no improvement in 2 weeks I'll see the dr. I am literally terrified of going anywhere because I have basically no resistance to infection

Ah, fair enough. Wish you the best with it