Steel Icarus
we move
Not a fucking chance mateGet your wife on here, I wanna ask her something
Not a fucking chance mateGet your wife on here, I wanna ask her something
Not a fucking chance mate
I know she feels as though she's nagging whenever she asks me to do something.
Would you ask her then if she ever feels she has to do any of that for you, colleagues, strangers, her exes? For safety, keeping the peace or to not rock the boat. Cos honestly we're so good at it that you might not even know it's going on.
I've failed again
I'm not very good with the male chivalry ting.... I got on the tube to go to Victoria to getc the bus back to Bristol and despite there being plenty of seats I chose to stand up cus I'm gonna be sat down for 2.5 hrs and I get to have a likkle dance round the pole to the jungle coming through my headphones
The guy standing opposite me gestures and points behind me to a guy sitting down who is gesturing 'Do I want a seat'? I take my headphones off and he repeats do you want to sit down? (There are other seats available)
I feel a bit bad about my response cus his intention was to be polite....
So I say 'Do you think I'm old'?
He says 'No'
I say 'Do you think I'm pregnant'?
He says 'no'
I say 'OK just checking *giggles* errm no but thanks for asking'
I then felt I'd been harsh and rejecting but at the same time found it odd that I'd clearly chosen to stand up and as he hadn't asked the guy also standing I thought he must of thought there was something inadequate about me - which is what chivalry is really.
I felt slightly concerned that I had humiliated him, however I felt slightly humiliated by him asking if I wanted a seat in the first place.
Your previous posts and this one have made me think of how abuse may have a gendered aspect for boys which people don't really discuss. Speaking really really broadly, for girls we are naturally to blame and at fault, powerless and ashamed about our abuse whereas for boys there is an idea of them either deserving it because they act out and you need to break their will, being expected to take it on the chin and not whine, or simply never being able to talk about your experiences in anything but jokey ways meaning you could never talk about really horrific things.All of which is a long way of saying I'm not friends with blokes. Some men, yes, but no manly men in the trad sense. The few male friends I have...one is gay and lives with a retired headmistress by the seaside, another runs an arts cooperative and has a girlfriend from a rich American family, two others are happily married and are very quiet and gentle men, and my best pal is like me in that he rejects blokedom and is uncomfortable with it.
Bit late for that, for me
“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”
Yes! Loved thatI loved the part of the survey that concluded that in fact married people are happier than single people but only if their spouse was in the room when they were asked.
How annoying.On the whole man whispering thing....
Ive noticed that in working with teenage boys (many of whom have issues with delinquency) that they do not appreciate getting a telling off from female staff and can act up on foot of a telling off.
They automatically assume the female teacher is nagging and they will become antagonistic.
It really pissed me off yesterday when 6 teenage male students were sent into detention to me and they were giving guff and acting up so I gave them a bit of my mind in a pretty forceful manner and they sat down quiet enough. Then a male teacher arrived and for no reason at all started to go to each one and talk to them. He left...and of course the 6 decided it was ok to start acting up again.
Fucking fuming I was cos the male teacher basically undermined my authority in the situation and he wasnt even on duty.
How annoying.
Do you think your colleague thought he was being 'helpful'? and do you think he would have acted the same if you had been male?
Arthur Miller is ALL about toxic masculinity. I think he’d have found that phrase very apt.Saw a cracking production of death of a Salesman tonight at the Young Vic with Wendell Pierce from The Wire playing Willie Loman.
Interesting to see it again in the light of this thread: man-whispering at its finest and lots of victims of toxic masculinity and capitalism.
what about men marrying men? I wonder if gay men have to man-whisper?Women are better off not marrying men, men are better off marrying women. So logically, women who marry women are the happiest of all!