Feminism and violence again women

[mentalchik]

This isn’t violence but it is a window into life as a woman. I was on a not very busy train coming home today, working. No one sat next to me as we left London (and very few people board the train later on - it’s mostly people getting off) so I was working on my laptop, referring to notes on my tablet on the table next to me. My bag was also on the seat next to me. I hadn’t noticed we’d stopped because I was engrossed in what I was doing until suddenly a man put his bag down heavily on top of my tablet screen. He didn’t speak to me so I suggested he could have asked me to move my bag/tablet which I would have been happy to have done. He told me seats were for sitting on and then continued to be aggressive. He spread his legs really wide and leaned into my space, told me I was too fat for the seat, and asked me if I were having a bad day when I ignored him. All because I was a woman working on a train.

When we got to the next stop and the train emptied, he didn’t move. So I pretended I was getting off so that I didn’t have to spend the next 25 minutes of my nearly 2 hour commute absorbing his hate for me.

For every bloke who says “oh there must be a reason this man murdered women! He must have some terrible psychological trauma or be horribly mentally ill’, there is another man who spends his lives making random women’s lives miserable because he just hates us.

I work in a supermarket (smaller than a superstore)....the amount of 'casual' sexism/aggression is almost a daily occurence....i head the services dept (all the tills, self scans. customer services/kiosk)we are all women of various ages....sexual comments on colleagues bodies, overt leering, agressive name calling (have lost count of how many times i have been called a "fucking bitch" for instance), bullying of their partners(making you scared for the women involved wondering what happens to them when not in public), this goes on all the time.....watched a group of three men come all the way from the back of the store to ogle a woman (regular customer,usually in fitness gear). Once helped a woman find a place of safety after she ran into the store in her nightie and bare feet with a large man chasing her....everyone just stared until i started shouting for help and we got her sorted out with a taxi to her sisters( it has always stayed in my memory)...have a couple of times intervened when men were harrassing colleagues and wouldn't take "no they are not interested" for an answer....some members of certain local immigrant communities are very overt in their sexual interest, women even get touched.....it goes on and on and i truely hoped things would have got better since my youth but imo it's getting worse.

 

[krtek a houby]

I work in a supermarket (smaller than a superstore)....the amount of 'casual' sexism/aggression is almost a daily occurence....i head the services dept (all the tills, self scans. customer services/kiosk)we are all women of various ages....sexual comments on colleagues bodies, overt leering, agressive name calling (have lost count of how many times i have been called a "fucking bitch" for instance), bullying of their partners(making you scared for the women involved wondering what happens to them when not in public), this goes on all the time.....watched a group of three men come all the way from the back of the store to ogle a woman (regular customer,usually in fitness gear). Once helped a woman find a place of safety after she ran into the store in her nightie and bare feet with a large man chasing her....everyone just stared until i started shouting for help and we got her sorted out with a taxi to her sisters( it has always stayed in my memory)...have a couple of times intervened when men were harrassing colleagues and wouldn't take "no they are not interested" for an answer....some members of certain local immigrant communities are very overt in their sexual interest, women even get touched.....it goes on and on and i truely hoped things would have got better since my youth but imo it's getting worse.

This is awful. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Have you a union rep you can contact?

 

[mentalchik]

This is awful. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Have you a union rep you can contact?

No one talks about it, it's just the normal way of things that most women will probably recognise

 

[krtek a houby]

No one talks about it, it's just the normal way of things that most women will probably recognise

I recognise it, too. Working in every single job. From decades ago up until when we started to work for ourselves. But it shouldn't be normal.

 

[GarveyLives]

Later, Kaushik Pramanik added: "The problem in this country, the law is towards women."

Meanwhile:

"Domestic abuse survivors warn that – inside the secretive family courts – they are being ‘retraumatised’ by the legal system, and say judges are the worst offenders ..."

‘It’s not like you were beaten’: The horrifying misogyny vulnerable women face from the judge’s bench

 

[friendofdorothy]

GarveyLives - what is your view of how to change things?

 

[friendofdorothy]

Meanwhile:
‘It’s not like you were beaten’: The horrifying misogyny vulnerable women face from the judge’s bench

for anyone who doesn't want to read the full item of depressing cases, here is the helpline info at the end of that article:

For help or support contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, which is open 24/7 365 days per year on 0808 2000 247, or go to its website at www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk.

 

[Dystopiary]

Meanwhile:



‘It’s not like you were beaten’: The horrifying misogyny vulnerable women face from the judge’s bench

Archived version here.

[C]omments show a problem with misogyny in the secretive family courts that not only subjects them to further trauma – often in a courtroom with their abuser present – but leads to rulings that can even leave them legally required to face the perpetrator.

Yes, a parent can find themselves legally forced to face the abuser repeatedly or risk losing custody of their child(ren), even end up in prison.

 

[kabbes]

GarveyLives - what is your view of how to change things?

I can’t honestly remember a single time that GarveyLives properly responded to anyone. I think he just likes to make newsletter-style pronouncements with pictures and bold writing and then fuck off again.

 

[trashpony]

This is awful. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Have you a union rep you can contact?

This is just day to day life for women in customer facing roles. If you recognise it, I’m surprised you think Unions are going to do anything about it.

Hating and harassing women is hard baked into our society. And no union has ever done anything to stand up for us. None of them lobbied to get mwawc added to the list of hate crimes.

They - we - all know that if we did that, the judicial system would collapse under the weight.

 

[ice-is-forming]

Archived version here.



Yes, a parent can find themselves legally forced to face the abuser repeatedly or risk losing custody of their child(ren), even end up in prison.

This is a horrible situation - I quite often do court support for women, yes it's great that we always have Sasha - the 7' tall security man on those days, and that he'll keep an eye on you as you walk up the court house stairs and slither into a 'safe' little side room before having to go into the court room - if you're lucky he may be hanging around when you come out too - to be able to keep an eye on you as you leave and walk to your car.
Awful situation -

With regard to family court orders trumping DV orders, this was an unbelievable situation, but it finally changed a few months ago, thank fuck. Now mothers aren't forced to meet in police stations to hand over their crying children to fathers who have a dvo stopping them from actually seeing their children. Yes, you read that right- even if there was a dvo stating that the father couldn't be 200m from the child, even if the police had taken that order out - if the father had gone to family court and a judge had put a family order in place saying he could see his kids every weekend - it took presidence over the dvo.

 

[krtek a houby]

This is just day to day life for women in customer facing roles. If you recognise it, I’m surprised you think Unions are going to do anything about it.

Hating and harassing women is hard baked into our society. And no union has ever done anything to stand up for us. None of them lobbied to get mwawc added to the list of hate crimes.

They - we - all know that if we did that, the judicial system would collapse under the weight.

What's the way forward, to bring about change, in your society?

 

[Dystopiary]

This is a horrible situation - I quite often do court support for women, yes it's great that we always have Sasha - the 7' tall security man on those days, and that he'll keep an eye on you as you walk up the court house stairs and slither into a 'safe' little side room before having to go into the court room - if you're lucky he may be hanging around when you come out too - to be able to keep an eye on you as you leave and walk to your car.
Awful situation -

With regard to family court orders trumping DV orders, this was an unbelievable situation, but it finally changed a few months ago, thank fuck. Now mothers aren't forced to meet in police stations to hand over their crying children to fathers who have a dvo stopping them from actually seeing their children. Yes, you read that right- even if there was a dvo stating that the father couldn't be 200m from the child, even if the police had taken that order out - if the father had gone to family court and a judge had put a family order in place saying he could see his kids every weekend - it took presidence over the dvo.

Is that Australia? i'm so glad that's changed, wherever it is. My God, the family courts facilitate some dangerous situations.

 

[ice-is-forming]

Is that Australia? i'm so glad that's changed, wherever it is. My God, the family courts facilitate some dangerous situations.

Yes Aus, absolutely insane!

 

[friendofdorothy]

What's the way forward, to bring about change, in your society?

Why do you expect that women battling this on a day to day basis should have to have all the answers?
What do you think is the way to bring about change?

 

[krtek a houby]

Why do you expect that women battling this on a day to day basis should have to have all the answers?
What do you think is the way to bring about change?

Having battled discrimination most of my life, was hoping for some insight. If there is no support in the workplace and no unions or people to talk to, it's difficult to combat such harassment.

Talking to the harassers doesn't seem to work, as many will laugh about it/deny it/ tell you it's just a bit of fun/ carry on with the misogyny and bullying.

Maybe education from an early age, in schools about equality and helping kids to understand what it means to be equal and learn to respect each other.

Honestly, I don't know. Sometimes the hostility just kind of defeats you.

 

[Callie]

I can’t honestly remember a single time that GarveyLives properly responded to anyone. I think he just likes to make newsletter-style pronouncements with pictures and bold writing and then fuck off again.

He?

 

[kabbes]

He?

I had always assumed so, based on posting style. Output only. But if I’m wrong then I’m wrong!

 

[Callie]

I had always assumed so, based on posting style. Output only. But if I’m wrong then I’m wrong!

We'll never know!

I did take GarveyLives post to mean the headline wording was written to make it sound like a lottery win using 'payout' rather than what it actually is, compensation. Just another attack in full view to undermine the seriousness of what has happened to that victim.

 

[cesare]

We'll never know!

I did take GarveyLives post to mean the headline wording was written to make it sound like a lottery win using 'payout' rather than what it actually is, compensation. Just another attack in full view to undermine the seriousness of what has happened to that victim.

They never replied to my question on both threads re "lottery win" either

 

[Callie]

They never replied to my question on both threads re "lottery win" either

They don't reply! It's just their way.

 

[krtek a houby]

Extreme misogyny to be treated as terrorism under UK government plans

Yvette Cooper orders review to identify gaps in current legislation to address violence against women and girls

www.theguardian.com

It's a start. And yes, little doubt that it's actually terrorism. A daily, ingrained terror that affects millions each and every day of their lives. Either directly or indirectly. From the workplace to places of leisure.

 

[Cloo]

Saw this and thought of this thread

 

[Epona]

Saw this and thought of this thread

View attachment 438756

That is brilliant, and sums up so much.