I'm not a manager but I have to manage stakeholders. There are some who have such a thick skin that you really do have to spell it out. I can think of at least 3 individuals who would be overjoyed for their opinion to be asked but wouldn't really hear the 'because' bit and would waffle on until stopped or would pay lip service to the 'because' telling me how great they are but not actually doing anything about it. I can also think of one sensitive soul among our contractors who would think he was being bullied. Horses for courses, innit.I read this - I wonder if this is useful advice? written by a woman, so maybe its helpful, but only if you are superior in rank I think.
Why The “Velvet Hammer” Is a Better Way to Give Constructive Criticism
Have something difficult to say? These are the exact words you should use.getpocket.com
What do you think?
Is there any way we can get you to chair certain threads? I feel like a good chair would've made a great deal of difference to the blokiness thread.
That is absolutely brilliant, I wish I'd heard / read that about . . . um . . . 20 years ago . . . Thank youI read this - I wonder if this is useful advice? written by a woman, so maybe its helpful, but only if you are superior in rank I think.
Why The “Velvet Hammer” Is a Better Way to Give Constructive Criticism
Have something difficult to say? These are the exact words you should use.
What do you think?
Thank you for posting that, that is so goodI read this - I wonder if this is useful advice? written by a woman, so maybe its helpful, but only if you are superior in rank I think.
Why The “Velvet Hammer” Is a Better Way to Give Constructive Criticism
Have something difficult to say? These are the exact words you should use.
What do you think?
Chair a thread on blokes being blokey? Ha ha ha !
Shame it was an interesting thread - but the man bores were so predictable and just sucked the life out of it. So like May Kasahara, I just left.
Following Poot I think it's a good approach that probably needs support from other dynamics (eg seniority, character, org culture.....) for consistent or even significant success. It also doesn't take long to clock it as a strategy and develop evasive tactics. I also wonder why it is a simple yet somehow profound 'formula' that needs lots of practice to do right.I read this - I wonder if this is useful advice? written by a woman, so maybe its helpful, but only if you are superior in rank I think.
Why The “Velvet Hammer” Is a Better Way to Give Constructive Criticism
Have something difficult to say? These are the exact words you should use.
What do you think?
Eek! I'm awaiting an appointment for a hysteroscopy and biopsy, due to an abnormally 'bulky uterus' being spotted on a recent ultrasound.
Sorry to hear that. Was it benign or malignant? How long had it gone undiagnosed?
In public fora, men more often make statements and grandstand instead of asking questions too.
I've recently called out an event organiser for organising three events with three white male speakers. In a major city. It was a collaboration with another organisation, and the speakers are coming via the other organisation. They replied that they had noticed and talked about it internally. And they will probably have one of their senior women staff chair/lead the conversation in one or two of the events. But still. Such lack of diversity in this day and age is appalling.
Nice comeback.I literally had a 25 year old with two years of work experience -- and who's never done my job -- tell me that 'no, you're wrong, you should be doing your job like this.'
So with my 25 years' experience, I said (sweetly), 'Oh, I didn't realise you'd worked as x? Where was that?'
And even then he of course wouldn't concede that he didn't know anything about it. Read something in some book whose name he couldn't recall one time apparently.So yeah.
I must catch up with this thread. Reading the last few posts made me think about a video I saw recently, in which bell hooks and Jill Soloway are having a discussion about ending domination, after which they invite questions from the audience. Cue Man Talking Too Much About Himself And Everything (at 1:01:12), until bell hooks expertly dismisses him with more grace than I could ever muster
I like the way bell hooks interrupted his monologue more than once. 'Is there a question coming?' was spot on. He was unbelievable saying all that after the q+a intro expressly said keep it brief!That was very polite. "It was a good speech."
Very difficult for a new generation to discover your work if it's all out of print.
Unsurprisingly the majority were killed by a partner/ex-partner, what is mildly surprising (to me at least) is the number killed by their sons rather than their partners.Women killed by male hands in 2023. Interesting that the Daily Mail of all places are doing this now. Makes horrible reading.
Heartbreaking rollcall of women and girls 'killed by men' in 2023
The 99 women include head of Epsom College Emma Pattison, teenager Elianne Andam , student Grace O'Malley-Kumar and mother-of-four Alison Bowen.www.dailymail.co.uk
Yes there is a feminism and violence against women thread
It's almost like they can't hear us saying this is not the thread for discussing femicide and violence
It's OK we've moved on. What statistics have you been surprised by? Hopefully someone else will come along to remind us how sad and shocking this all is. But not so much that it's worth digging into the links between violence and silencing.
Nothing about the stats surprises me. Sadly. Recall hearing years ago approx 2 women a week were murdered by men they knew. The figure of 99 seems to fit in with this. Is the femicide rate consistent?
