Workers' Girder! Getcher Workers Girder!

[equationgirl]

Am I the only Cmbe to be concerned that Cmbe Hadfield's sterling work aboard the space station identifying potential targets for the workers bomb have been rather compromised by his courting of publicity?
Space oddity is a sound Posadist ditty, but plastering oneself across YouTube is not the action of a conscientious combabe,
Please report to Stroud for debriefing immediately!

Stroud? Oh no, far too soft. It's the roundabout counting and re-education centre in Redditch for him.

 

[rekil]

If anyone feels like sharing in the glory of doing part deux of the eurovision thing, please giz a shout. The first part got a decent response but it could've been much better imo.

 

[Nigel Irritable]

The first part showed up a couple of times in my facebook feed posted by random punters who don't read this board, so I was kind of assuming that it had attracted a wider than usual audience?

 

[rekil]

The first part showed up a couple of times in my facebook feed posted by random punters who don't read this board, so I was kind of assuming that it had attracted a wider than usual audience?

Yep, more views from Ireland than the UK today, that's never happened before.

Looks like there's two Chuckle Theory inspired tunes in a row tomorrow night btw.

Georgia - Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani - Waterfall

There's no me without you
Don't know what I would do
You're my heartbeat, I'm breathing because of you

Switzerland - Takasa - You And Me

When the times are getting rough
Gold and silver turn to dust
People build their barricades
Out of jealousy and hate

Let it hear from near and far
This is how it’s meant to be
We’re together you and me

 

[Libertad]

Yep, more views from Ireland than the UK today, that's never happened before.

That'll be to do with your ringing endorsement of Ryan Dolan.

 

[rekil]

Got an ofsted inspection work on monday! Imagine if they were inspecting trot groups lol 'you have no policy on palestine'

Interesting idea from frogwoman. Offtrot is born.

 

[equationgirl]

OFTROT Inspector 'Your rating is bourgeois - you have no minorities on any of your working committees OR subcommittees, your twitter posts are uninspiring and practically tory, and your policy on palestine needs more than 'go there' in it. But the nail in the coffin was your sponsorship of Firebox. For shame, comrades, for shame.'

 

[BigTom]

 

[equationgirl]

I sense a new regular item for the PD blog...

ETA: and for comparison:

 

[Tom A]

Office For the Tenacious and Righteous Orating of Trotsky.

 

[Delroy Booth]

That's a fantastic idea. Do a OFTROT report on every trot group in the country, like that trotspotting article. I'll help out if people want to do a recurring feature.

 

[BigTom]

I presume that Oftrot will recommend that students are allowed to speak not on the basis of a raised hand but on the basis of a progressive stack system? And that teachers all check their educational privilege when indoctrinating the students?

(edit: this doesn't make sense really it's just cos ofsted had the best logo to parody and I thought about schooling when I wrote it)

 

[equationgirl]

I presume that Oftrot will recommend that students are allowed to speak not on the basis of a raised hand but on the basis of a progressive stack system? And that teachers all check their educational privilege when indoctrinating the students?

(edit: this doesn't make sense really it's just cos ofsted had the best logo to parody and I thought about schooling when I wrote it)

I think it's exactly the type of thing Oftrot would recommend

 

[equationgirl]

we should work out the grading scale.

Bottom = bourgeois

That's as far as I've got.

 

[BigTom]

I think it's exactly the type of thing Oftrot would recommend

yes, if it was a trot inspection board for schools... but it doesn't really make sense as an inspection board for trot groups.

 

[BigTom]

we should work out the grading scale.

Bottom = bourgeois

That's as far as I've got.

bourgeois
petty bourgeois
middle class
child of working class parentage
working class
pfwc

(as it logically should be)
or

pfwc
bourgeois
petty bourgeois
working class
child of working class parentage
middle class

(as it often seems to be)

 

[chilango]

Actual ofsted letter lightly edited. Needs making funnier though.



Dear Cadre,

Socialist Workers Party

Oftrot’s interim assessment 119423

I am pleased to provide some important information about The Socialist Workers Party.

As you may know, during its last inspection in January 2010, Oftrot inspectors judged your Comrade’s Party to be good. Parties which are performing well are now inspected less often than other Parties. This usually means that good Parties are inspected once in five years, whilst Parties that require improvement will be inspected between 12 to 24 months after their last inspection.

Some good Parties are inspected after three years; others may have their inspections put back. To help decide whether we can wait longer than three years before undertaking a full inspection of a good Party, Proletarian Democracy's Inspectors look at, and evaluate, various sources of information, as listed below. This is called an ‘interim assessment’.

The results of the interim assessment.

In carrying out the interim assessment, we considered the following:

 Comrades’ attainment, including the attainment of significant groups of Comrades with a focus on disabled Comrades and those who have special educational needs, and Comrades’ attainment in core Marxist theory.

 Comrades’ interventions in public meetings, including the progress made by different groups of Comrades.

 Comrades’ attendance on paper sales, pickets and public meetings.

 any inspection visits carried out by Oftrot since the last routine inspection

 qualifying complaints about the Party referred to Oftrot by Cadres.


 any other significant issues of the Party's paper brought to Oftrot’s attention, including from the relevant local authority.

I am pleased to inform you that our interim assessment shows that the Party’s performance has been sustained and that we can defer its next full inspection.

As a result, the next full inspection will not take place any earlier than Marxism 2014 unless we receive information in the course of the coming year that causes us to inspect earlier.

I wish everyone involved in the Party continued success in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Cmbbe Barry Mainwaring

 

[brogdale]

bourgeois
petty bourgeois
middle class
child of working class parentage
working class
pfwc

(as it logically should be)
or

pfwc
bourgeois
petty bourgeois
working class
child of working class parentage
middle class

(as it often seems to be)

2 findings of bourgeois, and it'll be into special measures.....

 

[sihhi]

OFTROT Grading systems


Grade 1: Intersected-Intersectional (Excellent) ... Receive the coveted Proletarian Democracy Star for a year.
You've intersected the intersections with intersections you've borrowed up from our exciting board game Privilege:The Intersectionalising. Rosa Luxemburg has been avenged. Party like it's the late 80s with a sing-a-long to Billy Bragg's video for Sexuality!

Grade 2: Mostly-Intersectional (Good) ... Breathe a sigh of relief. Your lefty cafe menus have displayed an impeccable intersectional minority-welcoming approach. "Served on Turkish bread with basmati rice". Coalesced groups of the Turkish and Bangldeshi working-class are coming through your doors for their downtime - ready to be turned into fighters! You will not be needing the toolkit for hacker and activist mental health this time round.


Grade 3: Partially-Intersectional (Average) ... At-risk of special measures. Sort it out people! Start applying your intersectionality to Syria today or next year's inspection will be unpleasant. Consider whether you should be swarming your local mosque to assist their efforts at integrating their floor space in order to tot up your tallies. Consider a mandatory privilege check session before the start of every meeting - this helps focus thoughts let an approved minority introduce it. Maybe find former victims of racist attacks in the past, so you can console them about it in the right intersectional way.


Grade 4: Non-intersectional (Inadequate) ... Special measures may follow. A world of pain as PD-endorsed Comrades instill progressive stacks, a new raft of hand gestures to allow under-privileged minorities to block ideas more effectively and a new policy to make special cause with UK Feminista, Stonewall and Operation Black Vote to get your intersectionals buzzing. Observers from University of Oregon and Coca-Cola (USA) Human Resources Departments will sit in on your meetings, leaflettings and PhD vivas.

 

[BigTom]

Actual ofsted letter lightly edited. Needs making funnier though.



Dear Cadre,

Socialist Workers Party

Oftrot’s interim assessment 119423

I am pleased to provide some important information about The Socialist Workers Party.

As you may know, during its last inspection in January 2010, Oftrot inspectors judged your Comrade’s Party to be good. Parties which are performing well are now inspected less often than other Parties. This usually means that good Parties are inspected once in five years, whilst Parties that require improvement will be inspected between 12 to 24 months after their last inspection.

Some good Parties are inspected after three years; others may have their inspections put back. To help decide whether we can wait longer than three years before undertaking a full inspection of a good Party, Proletarian Democracy's Inspectors look at, and evaluate, various sources of information, as listed below. This is called an ‘interim assessment’.

The results of the interim assessment.

In carrying out the interim assessment, we considered the following:

 Comrades’ attainment, including the attainment of significant groups of Comrades with a focus on disabled Comrades and those who have special educational needs, and Comrades’ attainment in core Marxist theory.

 Comrades’ interventions in public meetings, including the progress made by different groups of Comrades.

 Comrades’ attendance on paper sales, pickets and public meetings.

 any inspection visits carried out by Oftrot since the last routine inspection

 qualifying complaints about the Party referred to Oftrot by Cadres.


 any other significant issues of the Party's paper brought to Oftrot’s attention, including from the relevant local authority.

I am pleased to inform you that our interim assessment shows that the Party’s performance has been sustained and that we can defer its next full inspection.

As a result, the next full inspection will not take place any earlier than Marxism 2014 unless we receive information in the course of the coming year that causes us to inspect earlier.

I wish everyone involved in the Party continued success in the future.

Yours sincerely,

Cmbbe Barry Mainwaring

I like it, but I don't think the SWP should be getting a good report, change it to a different group I reckon.

 Comrades’ attendance on paper sales, pickets and public meetings.

I think we should swap out the ratings for whatever rating system is agreed on, but the bullet points are brilliant.

 

[chilango]

I like it, but I don't think the SWP should be getting a good report, change it to a different group I reckon.




I think we should swap out the ratings for whatever rating system is agreed on, but the bullet points are brilliant.

Yeah, just grabbed the letter as a template for other, funnier, Cmbbes to use...

 

[rekil]

Yeah, just grabbed the letter as a template for other, funnier, Cmbbes to use...

A devious ruse to flush out self-styled funguardist elements?

Expropriated from frogwoman and (i think thebutton) on the twitter.

Year 3 still unaware of what we say when they say "cutback."

number of recessions predicted out of the last 5 - 7 - unsatisfactory

Commanding heights of economy demanded to be nationalised: 200. Down on previous levels.

number of feminist and autonomist tendencies, 20 - unsatisfactory'

'number of times needs budget mentioned in a speech - 200 - outstanding'

'your theory of a deformed workers state must be emphasised further in your leaflets'

'number of electoral fronts declared - 1, must try harder'

number of 'call a general strike now' headlines in your paper - unsatisfactory

'after looking through your programme for the class there is only one mention of 1917'

'your dialecticalism is too weak'

Number of calls to unite the left: 2,365 - unsatisfactory

% dates named for general strike: 0

Insufficient platforms shared with reformists

Number of biggest ever demonstrations called: fewer than 5

"Level of unity built falling way below maximum"

 

[rekil]

OFTROT officers swoop into town on quadricycles of colour.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Office For the Tenacious and Righteous Orating of Trotsky.

Office for the Trustworthy Relaying of the Oratory of Trotsky.

Deviationism by teachers an offence punishable by being forced to do laps of the school field while dressed only in underwear, in front of entire student body.

 

[ViolentPanda]

I presume that Oftrot will recommend that students are allowed to speak not on the basis of a raised hand but on the basis of a progressive stack system? And that teachers all check their educational privilege when indoctrinating the students?

(edit: this doesn't make sense really it's just cos ofsted had the best logo to parody and I thought about schooling when I wrote it)

The "progressive stack" is a bourgeois conceit, comrade.

Students will be taught a revolutionary catechism, which they will chant every morning before commencing lessons.
Students will be inculcated with the tenets of dialectical materialism, and tested on their knowledge during snap inspections. Failure to recount the tenets to the inspector will be punished by liquidation attendance at a re-education summer camp.
Students guilty of patriarchalist behaviour and/or displaying a fondness for bourgeois morality will be publicly punished in the school stocks.
Teachers will be regularly and rigourously tested on the published works of Marx, Trotsky and Mainwaring. Pay increments are available for those with postgraduate qualifications in Chuckleism.
Teaching staff will be regularly purged refreshed in order to eject bourgeois deviationists provide fresh insight on taught subjects to students.
Vanguardism education to be compulsory for students and staff.

 

[rekil]

Last piece on the eurovision is up and thank fuck for that.

http://proletariandemocracy.wordpre...contest-final-a-proper-communist-perspective/

 

[rekil]

Finally!

 

[JimW]

Trotsky-fascist wrecker!

 

[rekil]

Blocked (Glocked?) before he could be given what for.

 

[JimW]

Blocked (Glocked?) before he could be given what for.

How unlike our Dear Leader Barry, who would never shy from an opportunity to present the correct Posadist-Chucklism line.