Men’s violence against women and girls is a national emergency
- Thread starter ElizabethofYork
- Start date
mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
And her fucking husband only got 20 years
brogdale
Coming to terms with late onset Anarchism
mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
It seems now like a daily thing that a man (celebrity or not) gets found doing these vile things...i find it quite bewildering and makes me shake with rage...all i can do is be thankful that most men i know (including my 3 sons) are as appalled as i am
ElizabethofYork
Old Crone
A huge sense of entitlement?
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
Speaking as a man, I have no fucking idea.
Sometimes I feel like the only man who has never rapped someone or abused a child in someway.
mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
When i had a small circle of female friends (bout 5 of them) every single one of them had experienced violence at the hands of boyfriends and also my own sister....a member of my extended family is a teacher at a primary school and reports that even very young boys are showing these attitudes and behaviours....in my lifetime things just seem to be going backwards at a scary rate
philosophical
Well-Known Member
I am not sure if this is a good idea or not, however I once knew a teenage girl who told me what she did (a shame she felt she had to do it) but she went to self defence classes.
Gosh it was interesting. She outlined how jabbing men in the eyes, heel of the hand hard under the nose, grab squeeze hard and yank down the testicles night help…amongst other tips. I also heard that if a woman is touched in an unwanted way by a man she should grab the hand, hold it as high as possible and shout ‘whose dirty hand is this’.
There is physical imbalance generally between men and women, but I wonder if self defence classes should be part of the school curriculum for women and girls.
Yes I know they shouldn’t have to, but speaking as a man rather ashamed of his gender, I wish women were somehow empowered to physically fight back.
As I say I don’t know if this is a good idea or not. I also think men should challenge other men, but Trump getting elected in America does not fill me with confidence on that score.
Gosh it was interesting. She outlined how jabbing men in the eyes, heel of the hand hard under the nose, grab squeeze hard and yank down the testicles night help…amongst other tips. I also heard that if a woman is touched in an unwanted way by a man she should grab the hand, hold it as high as possible and shout ‘whose dirty hand is this’.
There is physical imbalance generally between men and women, but I wonder if self defence classes should be part of the school curriculum for women and girls.
Yes I know they shouldn’t have to, but speaking as a man rather ashamed of his gender, I wish women were somehow empowered to physically fight back.
As I say I don’t know if this is a good idea or not. I also think men should challenge other men, but Trump getting elected in America does not fill me with confidence on that score.
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
There are a number of issues here, but the big one is the focus on "stranger danger" most of the time the danger is someone they know, a family memeber, friend or partner.
Maximum sentence for rape in France. I'd hope they've also charged him with other offences (like administering drugs to her etc) but haven't really heard anything about that.
At the risk of upsetting the men on here, hearing about primary school age boys telling female teachers to get back in the kitchen and bullying girls in their classes for being female makes me so glad I don't have a son.
Hearing about Miliei cutting all kinds of services for women and DV/rape survivors makes me fear for this country. Badenoch wants to emulate him and Farage almost certainly will - if he gets into power, abortion rights will be rolled back and that's just for starters.
Better to address the root of the problem.
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
Doesn't upset me in the slightest.
trashpony
Hag
As a woman whose been sexually assaulted in public on several occasions, I can tell you that shouting at the perp gets you stares, not him.
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mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
Many moons ago (maybe20 years) i had a man grab my breasts whilst dancing with friends in a night club....i slapped him very hard round the face (the only time i've ever hit anyone) he was immediately ejected by security but i just forgot about it as this used to be par for the course on a night out....always groping hands or roughly 'brushing' against you in the crowd....had hoped that maybe this had gone away but i suspect sadly, it hasn't.
Funky_monks
Neo-Rustic
As the parent of a daughter (my only child), it makes me worried because I have a daughter.
baldrick
hmmmmm
It's funny how no one is ever personally acquainted with or related to a man who might do some kind of harassment, dick pics, groping, stalking, beating, controlling, raping or murder. Not my Nigel, he wouldn't do that.
And yet every one of those 51 men were normal guys and totally unremarkable. Went to work, read the paper, mowed their neighbours lawns, nipped to the shop cos they wanted some biscuits, visited their dear old ma at weekends, played golf and raped their neighbours wife in the most awful, depraved way.
And yet every one of those 51 men were normal guys and totally unremarkable. Went to work, read the paper, mowed their neighbours lawns, nipped to the shop cos they wanted some biscuits, visited their dear old ma at weekends, played golf and raped their neighbours wife in the most awful, depraved way.
Funky_monks
Neo-Rustic
Threads like this make you second guess all that - I don't know if its a good or bad thing. I have a younger brother who I would be totally convinced could never do anything like that (any kind of harrassment)....but then you read this and think...... would he, though?
Given the number of women who are raped/sexually assaulted, there are a lot of 'ordinary' men doing these things.
And I know you don't mean it in a bad way, but you could be worried just because.
Funky_monks
Neo-Rustic
Well yes, I dislike that often men only become concerned about women's issues in general "because they have a daughter now". But that's not what I meant, I meant it in context, ie I am (or was - she's in all girls SEN autistic provision now) concerned specifically about young boys at school.
trashpony
Hag
I don’t think my son would (the person he is now at 17) but I definitely know men (and some in my family) who I could absolutely see doing this. Vast numbers of men really hate us.
I encounter guys every day that I wouldn’t be surprised if they turned out to do some of those things. Most guys, even. There’s so much unreflective, casual misogyny out there. I’m sure you’re no more surprised than I am at the prevalence of these acts.
But I don’t actually know what anyone else does. They’re not telling me about it. And I don’t talk in-depth to anyone much other than the kabbess, to be frank. Furthermore, any guy that is even vaguely misogynistic is someone I definitely don’t want to spend quality time with, which just decreases the chance of hearing about or witnessing acts I would take issue with. So no, I can’t say that I am personally acquainted with such a man to my certain knowledge.
Funky_monks
Neo-Rustic
I think this is where the idea that men should "challenge their mates" falls down. I dunno about younger men, but at my age, none of my friends are saying misogynistic stuff and/or being abusive/violent towards women that I know of, but equally I'm pretty certain they wouldn't be discussing it with their mates if they were. Statistically, some of them must be.
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
I’d like to think I don’t know any men like that, but then I remember how often I hear/see casual jokes other men make about nominating a close pal to delete their search history and downloaded files if they die suddenly, and I do wonder.
baldrick
hmmmmm
Oh, well I sort of know someone who is definitely a candidate.
Me and Mr Baldrick went for some drinks with a couple we've known for a long time and a guy they were friends with was also in the group. Later on after a few drinks he said some absolutely disgusting things about his ex wife, like sexually degrading things in a really vicious way. Awful. I felt like he'd hit me it was so shocking and I got up and walked away, I couldn't even say anything, I was just mute and totally stunned.
Me and Mr Baldrick went for some drinks with a couple we've known for a long time and a guy they were friends with was also in the group. Later on after a few drinks he said some absolutely disgusting things about his ex wife, like sexually degrading things in a really vicious way. Awful. I felt like he'd hit me it was so shocking and I got up and walked away, I couldn't even say anything, I was just mute and totally stunned.
Callie
Pivoting
Do you have many conversations with your brother that you feel would show any questionable attitudes? Anything, slightly off. Do you speak to his friends and partners in a way that might do similar?
If not what is the 'never do anything like that based on'. Assumptions of good behaviour are expected of friends)family but I guess real probing and a non biased look at attitudes and behaviour are less likely.
Callie
Pivoting
I think we covered this or similar earlier in the thread.
Why should the burden be on the victims to negate the actions and behaviour of others and not address the harmful behaviour and causes of that harmful behaviour as the priority. A female knowing some self defence is unlikely to deter the behaviour in the fist place and may well escalate the situation.
Callie
Pivoting
This is a very good point. I don't want to hear "my mate Dave doesn't seem like the type". seem. What's it based on? An idea. A concept of a person. Or how they have actually interacted with others. How they talk about others. How they behave towards others.
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