This immigration lark is really an extremely well thought out strategy by NuLabour to recapture the 'Eurovision Song' title.
By encouraging migrants from Eastern Europe it is only a question of time before one of these migrants will represent Great Britain. Afterall, all of the immigrants will be voting for one of their own in the GB contest.
Once the GB's foreign representative, say Latvian for example, croons his/her/their way through the finals, this will create a block voting bias - akin to the Scandinavian cartel - which will add Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania - also possibly Russia and the other former Soviet republics- into the GB camp.
This brilliant NuLabour strategy endorsed by Sony-BMG, Universal and EMI will split the vote in Eastern Europe and create a proportional representation effect benefitting GB, which normally receives no 'null' (don't want to piss-off the French) points from those countries.
The end result will once again produce the prestigious honour of the GB gaining the top European music award. The timing in putting this plan into action is synchronized to coincide with the London Olympics in 2012.
Thanks to a leak from a caddie at Terry Wogan's golf course, CIF participants are the first to be made aware of this monumental disclosure.
The chemist opens in another half-hour, at which time I'll be able to collect my prescription - in case you wondered?