PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[Zapp Brannigan]

A 90 suspension would have been imposed had he not resigned. Would that still stand, would it stop him from running

He can stand, but I think the suspension would still apply. So on his election (and that'sa big if), he'd instantly be fucked off for 90 days, which would trigger the recall petition, which with 100% certainty would get the required signatures and force a by-election (which he could stand in).

The fucking circus it would generate, given Johnson's personality and need to be centre of attention I could see him wanting it. Whether anyone else does, less sure.

 

[Silas Loom]

Latest polls suggest there are no safe seats so this is going to be quite funny.

Yeah, he would need a degree of safety last seen in Old Sarum.

 

[Smangus]

He's making too much money elsewhere to be interested in parliament.

 

[Silas Loom]

He's making too much money elsewhere to be interested in parliament.

Yes. Plenty of ways for him to carry on looking relevant enough to command top tier speaking fees. Leaking his back channel trip to Venezuela, for example.

 

[The39thStep]

This is a very weird story and even weirder is this description of why he resigned as MP

"Mr Johnson then stepped down as MP in June 2023 after facing some criticism over how many parliamentary votes he was missing because he was making frequent trips abroad."

Boris Johnson flew to Venezuela for unofficial talks

The ex-prime minister held a private meeting with the country's President Nicholas Maduro last month.

www.bbc.com

 

[Silas Loom]

This is a very weird story and even weirder is this description of why he resigned as MP

"Mr Johnson then stepped down as MP in June 2023 after facing some criticism over how many parliamentary votes he was missing because he was making frequent trips abroad."

Boris Johnson flew to Venezuela for unofficial talks

The ex-prime minister held a private meeting with the country's President Nicholas Maduro last month.

www.bbc.com

Good spot. A line fed to a BBC political correspondent who was too young in 2023 to be taking an interest in politics, presumably.

 

[andysays]

This is a very weird story and even weirder is this description of why he resigned as MP

"Mr Johnson then stepped down as MP in June 2023 after facing some criticism over how many parliamentary votes he was missing because he was making frequent trips abroad."

Boris Johnson flew to Venezuela for unofficial talks

The ex-prime minister held a private meeting with the country's President Nicholas Maduro last month.

www.bbc.com

I suppose strictly speaking it was after he faced criticism for missing some parliamentary votes, but the word might suggest to those unfamiliar with the full facts that that was the only criticism he had faced, rather than it being a relatively minor factor in the various and much more serious criticisms he had faced.

I remain unconvinced that Johnson is seriously thinking about standing again as an MP.

 

[LeytonCatLady]

Still not without his arselickers, I see...

 

[hash tag]

Unmissable

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-rise-and-fall-of-boris-johnson

 

[oryx]

Unmissable

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-rise-and-fall-of-boris-johnson

Have been meaning to post that up but never got round to it!

It's really interesting and watchable.

Among other cameos, Jennifer Arcuri really sticks the boot in and Jeremy Corbin is actually really funny.

 

[Voley]

Have been meaning to post that up but never got round to it!

It's really interesting and watchable.

Among other cameos, Jennifer Arcuri really sticks the boot in and Jeremy Corbin is actually really funny.

Was after something to watch this evening, ta.

 

[Orang Utan]

Unmissable

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-rise-and-fall-of-boris-johnson

Unmissable? Wanna bet?

 

[hash tag]

On QT last week, McClean said she was very much in favour of the Rwanda plan. Johnson should be the first to go.

‘Potentially serious impropriety’: Labour questions Johnson’s Venezuela meeting

Former PM’s meeting with President Maduro, in capacity as hedge fund consultant, is under further scrutiny

www.theguardian.com

 

[hash tag]

It's widely reported this morning that Truss is complaining of No. 10 being infested with flesh. Who did she replace in No. 10.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

It's widely reported this morning that Truss is complaining of No. 10 being infested with flesh. Who did she replace in No. 10.

one denial has been issued



larry the cat on tweeter - "In case you're wondering, the fleas came from Boris Johnson, not me."

 

[tommers]

It's widely reported this morning that Truss is complaining of No. 10 being infested with flesh. Who did she replace in No. 10.

The crime is life, the sentence is death.

 

[Lurdan]

It's widely reported this morning that Truss is complaining of No. 10 being infested with flesh. Who did she replace in No. 10.

Boris wrote about the infestation of flesh in No. 10 in his Mail column
BORIS JOHNSON: Wonder drug I hoped would stop my raids for cheddar and chorizo didn't work for me - Daily Mail Online (archived)

I first thought that something was up when I saw that a certain member of the Cabinet had miraculously changed his appearance. He had acquired a new jawline. His neck emerged without effort from his collar. When he rose from his chair at the Cabinet table, that chair no longer tried to cling longingly about his hips. I got it! He had lost weight, stones and stones of belly and dewlap; and I immediately thought of Julius Caesar, and his preference for well-fed colleagues. ‘Let me have men about me that are fat,’ said the Roman dictator, shortly before his assassination. ‘Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look.’

As it turned out, Caesar was right to be worried about Cassius. Then I noticed another colleague whose silhouette was shrinking visibly; and another. By this time my spider senses were jangling. If an otherwise healthy middle-aged man displays sudden weight loss, I reasoned, there are only two possible explanations. Either he has fallen hopelessly in love, or else he is about to mount a Tory leadership bid.

Then one of those colleagues came up and whispered the truth — that there was an entirely separate explanation. He had access, he said, to a wonder drug. ‘It stops you wanting to eat,’ he said. Really? I boggled. ‘Look at me,’ he said, and twanged his braces in triumph. He was right: there was a whole lot less of him than I remembered — so much less, in fact, that he looked almost gaunt by comparison. Suddenly I was interested. I was going to search for the hero inside myself — the one that was three stone lighter. I was going to locate that svelte and dynamic version of Johnson, imprisoned for decades in pointless extra body weight, and I was going to set him free.

 

[existentialist]

I am a recipient of that wonder drug, and if Johnson thinks it's quite that easy, then he's a bigger fool than even I have taken him for.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

version of Johnson, imprisoned for decades in pointless extra body weight

surely there would have been a danger* he would have disappeared completely?

* - or a hope...

 

[equationgirl]

I am a recipient of that wonder drug, and if Johnson thinks it's quite that easy, then he's a bigger fool than even I have taken him for.

As a recipient of the same med I only wish it was that easy.

 

[existentialist]

As a recipient of the same med I only wish it was that easy.

About the only thing I could find agreement with him on was the 3am chucking up in a bucket when I've miscalculated, or let my eating habits get the better of me. But it's a mind thing, as much as a pill thing.

 

[wemakeyousoundb]

cryptic drug references from bojo the clown
I am lost

 

[Ax^]

cryptic drug references from bojo the clown
I am lost

oddly bojo who had lead a gifted life and has never had to struggle to achieve anything in his life

is singing the praises of a drug that they were giving to diabetics as it reduces blood sugar but they also found it to be good for weight loss as it suppresses the appetite
been given by private doctors for non diabetics for this reason or can be order off line


called Ozempic weight loss injections celebs and influencers have been using it for a last few years
google for results.. doctors oddly are trying to tell people its not a wonder drug

 

[Raheem]

Anyone else remember how after he got COVID, BJ made some sort of public weight-loss pledge? Then for about a month looked like he was losing weight, then he must have given up whatever he had been doing.

 

[existentialist]

oddly bojo who had lead a gifted life and has never had to struggle to achieve anything in his life

is singing the praises of a drug that they were giving to diabetics as it reduces blood sugar but they also found it to be good for weight loss as it suppresses the appetite
been given by private doctors for non diabetics for this reason or can be order off line


called Ozempic weight loss injections celebs and influencers have been using it for a last few years
google for results.. doctors oddly are trying to tell people its not a wonder drug

The doctors are absolutely right. I'm pretty sure the prescribing guidelines also say it should be given in conjunction with some kind of dietician/therapeutic support, and I'd completely agree with that, although that has never been offered to me...fortunately I can manage that bit myself.

Semaglutide won't "make you thin". What it will do is make you think twice about eating how you used to - the rest is up to you. Someone, for example, who "comfort eats" is likely not to benefit so much from the reduced appetite aspect, because that's not why they are eating - but the increased awareness (that's one way of putting it ) of your stomach's state of fullness can be helpful in making decisions not to eat, or to eat less.

I got caught out quite badly in the initial stages, because every now and again I'd forget, and give myself my usual portion size, which wasn't VAST, but was enough to then end up feeling unpleasantly full, often to the point of nausea. However, it pretty rapidly resulted in about an 8kg weight loss. I do occasionally take "holidays" from it if I know I will be eating on someone else's schedule, or in a situation where adapting my eating to the semaglutide is likely to be socially problematic, but I notice that there's a good day or two of lingering effect even if I miss those doses (I'm on oral semaglutide - Rybelsus - rather than the subcutaneous variety).

From what I gather from my diabetic nurse, it is also supposed to have some protective effect on the cardiovascular system, but I can't find anything to suggest that it directly affects this - it's probably contingent on the weight loss.

 

[gosub]

Anyone else remember how after he got COVID, BJ made some sort of public weight-loss pledge? Then for about a month looked like he was losing weight, then he must have given up whatever he had been doing.

To be fair he was battling Downing Street staff throwing him birthday parties and trying force cake down his throat

 

[hash tag]

It's not like Johnson to be evasive, not answering questions, refusing to be open or breaking parliamentary rules. I can't believe they are speaking about the same person.

Boris Johnson ‘refused to be open’ with watchdog about hedge fund role

Acoba chair Eric Pickles says rules on post-ministerial jobs are ‘unenforceable’ after former PM avoids answering questions

www.theguardian.com

 

[tim]

It's widely reported this morning that Truss is complaining of No. 10 being infested with flesh. Who did she replace in No. 10.

Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett?

 

[A380]

 

[LeytonCatLady]

Boris Johnson forgets ID when arriving at polling station to vote - despite introducing the rule himself

Boris Johnson was initially turned away from his polling place after forgetting to bring a valid ID - despite the rule being introduced by him when he was Prime Minister.

www.lbc.co.uk