PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[killer b]

have heard some speculation that that twat johnson will jump ship to the middle earth mid bedfordshire constituency at the by-election when nadine dorries goes to the lords, on account of not having a great majority in uxbridge, and most of the the tory 'levelling up' policy being to punish london for voting for the wrong colour (i mean rosette of course) mayor.

although not sure how this works for a sitting MP part way through a parliament, though - fairly sure it's happened before during a general election...

where have you heard this bizarre fantasy?

 

[Ax^]

where have you heard this bizarre fantasy?

was spoken in a few notable places this morning

tv, papers and radio


finding him a safe seat

 

[scalyboy]

Thing is, Johnson is a smug enough cunt that he could well have thought he might slip that oh-so-clever ancient historical reference in and only Those In The Know would pick up on it. It'd be exactly what you'd expect from a narcissist with delusions of grandeur. Like the villains in Scooby Doo.

Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

4th image from top, c.1806 painting: ‘De Pfeffel Leaves the Sunbed to Dictate Laws to Britain’ - enjoying a well-earned holiday on a Bahamas beach after three years of service to the nation, Boris’s relaxation is interrupted by an urgent message from Westminster:

“Come back, honoured sire. Save us! The nation is in chaos. Inflation is into double figures, utility bills go unpaid in a mass campaign of civil disobedience. The plebs are taking to picket lines en masse and are rioting in the streets.”

Reluctantly, de Pfeffel puts down the sunblock & rum and returns to London, where a grateful House awards him dictatorial powers in order to reestablish order.

The delusional fuckpig.

 

[brogdale]

...but I haven't steamed all the wallpaper off yet...

 

[cupid_stunt]

...but I haven't steamed all the wallpaper off yet...

View attachment 341453

I watched that on TV, and thought it weird that he was almost dragging her off down the street after his farewell speech.

 

[T & P]

I’d bet all my possessions that Boris is seething with rage that Brenda didn’t have the decency to die a few days earlier whilst he was still PM, so he could lead the sending off.

 

[Ax^]

yup or 2 month ago when he could of made all his problem disappear by shagging the largest flag in the country

 

[brogdale]

Should have buried blustercunt today as well

 

[Raheem]

Should have buried blustercunt today as well

View attachment 343637

Carrie playing human chess.

 

[brogdale]

Carrie playing human chess.

Genuinely looks like his carer

 

[Ax^]

look like she saying


"you're not PM anymore, Stop acting like a cunt

you did not sob at our child's birth "

 

[Wilf]

Carrie playing human chess.

Nah, not sure. There's a bishop, a pawn and all that, but no cunt.

 

[Ming]

Should have buried blustercunt today as well

View attachment 343637

They both do sincerity so well. Maybe he’s feeling some guilt for lying to Madge about the proroguing of parliament?
…naaaaah.

 

[Wilf]

They both do sincerity so well. Maybe he’s feeling some guilt for lying to Madge about the proroguing of parliament?
…naaaaah.

He'll be meeting St Peter at the Pearly Gates and still blathering on that nobody told him that the parties he held were parties and something something about Jeremy Corbyn.

 

[Ming]

He'll be meeting St Peter at the Pearly Gates and still blathering on that nobody told him that the parties he held were parties and something something about Jeremy Corbyn.

I don’t think he can bullshit old Pete. He’s had a lot of experience in these matters i would imagine.

 

[ruffneck23]

 

[elbows]

Dont Pannick...

The committee said Lord Pannick's opinion was "founded on a systemic misunderstanding of the parliamentary process and misplaced analogies with the criminal law".

It rejected Lord Pannick's call for Mr Johnson to be represented by a lawyer who would speak on his behalf and cross-examine witnesses.

In a statement the committee, said it "does not have discretion to allow counsel to speak in a hearing and conduct cross-examination, and it would require a decision of the House to permit this".

Boris Johnson: MPs reject lawyer's claim Partygate probe unfair

MPs are examining whether Boris Johnson misled Parliament over Covid rule-breaking events in No 10.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[stavros]

How long are they going to take over this "Is Boris Johnson a lying cunt?" inquiry? We need them to move onto the pressing issue of Papal beliefs and the defecation habits of large mammals.

 

[existentialist]

How long are they going to take over this "Is Boris Johnson a lying cunt?" inquiry? We need them to move onto the pressing issue of Papal beliefs and the defecation habits of large mammals.

They're stringing it out as long as possible, in the hope that everyone (or they) can go "Meh, old noos, no point wasting public money on that nonsense now..."

 

[brogdale]

When to we get to the raid on his house to find the secret documents bit?

 

[hash tag]

Just when you thought you had heard the last of him... Boris Johnson faces questions about whether $150,000 speech broke rules

 

[teqniq]

'Sources close to the former prime minister suggested there was no need because it was a one-off'

Taking the piss, flat out. As usual.

 

[Yossarian]

The former prime minister gave a speech to the Council of Insurance Agents and Brokers in Colorado Springs this week

What a shameful waste of an entertainment budget - for $150,000 they could have hired a whole circus instead of one clown and probably gotten just as much useful information about insurance.

 

[Yossarian]

They could have had Joe Pesci or John Goodman with enough change left over for a few rounds of drinks, the fools.

 

[belboid]

Is the asterisk beside David Petraeus because he is completely alphabetically misplaced?

 

[spitfire]

Just when you thought you had heard the last of him... Boris Johnson faces questions about whether $150,000 speech broke rules

Angela Rayner channeling Badgers here.

“The disgraced former prime minister and now part-time MP once again has questions to answer about whether he has followed the rules he was once responsible for."

 

[Yossarian]

Is the asterisk beside David Petraeus because he is completely alphabetically misplaced?

Fuck knows, maybe whoever compiled the list initially thought his first name was General and couldn't be bothered shifting the entry later.

 

[Raheem]

Fuck knows, maybe whoever compiled the list initially thought his first name was General and couldn't be bothered shifting the entry later.

That feeling when you realise you've been very perceptive, but about something that doesn't matter even slightly.

 

[SysOut]

Angela Rayner channeling Badgers here.

“The disgraced former prime minister and now part-time MP once again has questions to answer about whether he has followed the rules he was once responsible for."

"now part-time MP" as well

 

[hash tag]

Not just Johnson but all former PM's get security for life? Quite how much I don't know. All the prime minister's the Tories are getting through must be costing the nation an arm and a leg. This could form part of a cost cutting exercise