PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[cupid_stunt]

He should send this in to viz's top tips, the out of touch cunt.

The Daily Star's front page take on this...

 

[two sheds]

I always filled to above the element but fair play if people don't.

I've just realized that's a lie. When I was about 16 I boiled the kettle but forgot to fill it with water at all which buggered it. That was the only time I ever heard my dad swear: "Buggered it, have you?" he said.

 

[Dom Traynor]

I've just realized that's a lie. When I was about 16 I boiled the kettle but forgot to fill it with water at all which buggered it. That was the only time I ever heard my dad swear: "Buggered it, have you?" he said.

Is your dad Welsh? Because I read that in a Welsh accent.

 

[two sheds]

No, Scottish, but I see what you mean

 

[Calamity1971]

Johnson turning a blind eye again..fucking scum.

Sexual misconduct allegations revealed against cabinet minister and top No 10 aide

It comes in the wake of the Chris Pincher scandal, when following the deputy chief whip's resignation amid sexual misconduct allegations, questions were raised over what the prime minister already knew about his behaviour.

news.sky.com

 

[Calamity1971]

The Daily Star's front page take on this...

View attachment 340665

 

[Pickman's model]

Plug it in and throw it in the tub

 

[teqniq]

Grifting to the last:

 

[scalyboy]

Pretty Girls Make Grant Applications
Everyone Strikes Again

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Liked Me
How Soon Is My Next Holiday
Heaven Knows I’m A Miserable Useless C*nt
I Know It’s Over

 

[scalyboy]

Plug it in and throw it in the tub

Then remove it after a couple of minutes and drop a few ravenous penguins in there

 

[bluescreen]

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Liked Me
How Soon Is My Next Holiday
Heaven Knows I’m A Miserable Useless C*nt
I Know It’s Over

How's Sunak Now?

 

[A380]

 

[stavros]

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Liked Me
How Soon Is My Next Holiday
Heaven Knows I’m A Miserable Useless C*nt
I Know It’s Over

Strangeways Here I Come

 

[Sue]

Strangeways Here I Come

The Queen is Dead


(Wrong thread.)

 

[steveo87]

Did he cry?

 

[Pickman's model]

Did he cry?

He'll blubber when finds the queen hosting a delegation of adelie penguins

 

[not-bono-ever]

I hope his plane crashes into balmoral

 

[not-bono-ever]

There I go again, wishing ill on people. Tsk

 

[steveo87]

There I go again, wishing ill on people. Tsk

Not to be all conspiracy about it, but some people believe he isn't.
Not 'shape shifting alien lizard' style, just that Tories all appear to be fucking rats.

 

[The39thStep]

 

[Pickman's model]

There I go again, wishing ill on people. Tsk

it'd be the best thing for the country, and make millions of people happy. especially if truss popped her clogs too

 

[not-bono-ever]

I am full of love for most of humanity IRL

 

[brogdale]

I hope his plane crashes into balmoral

POTD IMHO; 2 birds; one stone.

 

[ska invita]

Gone eh

Hermit faces eviction from beachside cave home

Nisim has spent almost 50 years building and decorating his home in the Israeli town of Herzliya.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[stavros]

I'm fed up with all the hacks trying to psychoanalyse what he said: it was a load tawdry, self-congratulatory bollocks, which once flew over humility on one of its holidays.

 

[elbows]

Well it was certainly another opportunity for them to read as much as possible into his historical namedropping, in this case:

Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[agricola]

I'm fed up with all the hacks trying to psychoanalyse what he said: it was a load tawdry, self-congratulatory bollocks, which once flew over humility on one of its holidays.

it prevents them mentioning him dragging his wife out of there like she'd been caught stealing vol-au-vents

 

[bluescreen]

it prevents them mentioning him dragging his wife out of there like she'd been caught stealing vol-au-vents

I wasn't paying close attention but did I hear correctly that although he thanked his 'family' the only one he mentioned by name wasn't Carrie but Dilyn? Dilyn???

We are well shot of Johnson but OMG, Truss

 

[Puddy_Tat]

have heard some speculation that that twat johnson will jump ship to the middle earth mid bedfordshire constituency at the by-election when nadine dorries goes to the lords, on account of not having a great majority in uxbridge, and most of the the tory 'levelling up' policy being to punish london for voting for the wrong colour (i mean rosette of course) mayor.

although not sure how this works for a sitting MP part way through a parliament, though - fairly sure it's happened before during a general election...

 

[existentialist]

Well it was certainly another opportunity for them to read as much as possible into his historical namedropping, in this case:

Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Thing is, Johnson is a smug enough cunt that he could well have thought he might slip that oh-so-clever ancient historical reference in and only Those In The Know would pick up on it. It'd be exactly what you'd expect from a narcissist with delusions of grandeur. Like the villains in Scooby Doo.