PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[Zapp Brannigan]

It is plausible that he shat himself halfway through, but it wasn't food poisoning.

 

[magneze]

Shartgate

 

[philosophical]

So that's why he was late and fucked it up !
I wonder if Susanna can confirm that he shat himself live on air.

This should really read diarrhea interview then.

 

[two sheds]

He should have used a fridge

 

[not a trot]

He should have used a fridge

Sun Headline 'Boris Shat In My Fridge'.

 

[pesh]

Shartgate

Rusty Watergate

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

Technically a hangover is food poisoning

 

[Cerv]

An unusual strain of food poisoning that gives you verbal, not actual, diarrhoea.

 

[pbsmooth]

I see someone crashed into his house in Camberwell.

Car crashes into Boris Johnson's £1.3 million townhouse in south London

The car damaged hedges and a tree, and knocked down a small pillar in front of the house in Camberwell.

metro.co.uk

bought for 1.3m on a buy to let mortgage. fucker.

 

[Pickman's model]

I see someone crashed into his house in Camberwell.

Car crashes into Boris Johnson's £1.3 million townhouse in south London

The car damaged hedges and a tree, and knocked down a small pillar in front of the house in Camberwell.

metro.co.uk

bought for 1.3m on a buy to let mortgage. fucker.

Communique 4
Robert Carr Boris Johnson got it tonight this morning. We're getting closer.

 

[brogdale]

Cummings' response to the 'news' of more partygate fines did make me chuckle for a bit but, on reflection, looks like he's got fuck all ammo left himself.

 

[Septimus Rufiji]

 

[teqniq]

This would appear to be real. Properly taking the piss:

 

[brogdale]

This would appear to be real. Properly taking the piss:

But, but....but only last night on the TV Braverman said that blustercunt had "changed the culture" and it was time to move on.

 

[LeytonCatLady]

This would appear to be real. Properly taking the piss:

Or just tone deaf.

 

[Raheem]

Bet it's not even a pint bottle.

 

[elbows]

This would appear to be real. Properly taking the piss:

But who wrote that description? I would have thought it likely to be someone at the charity, not the Tory party.

 

[Pickman's model]

But who wrote that description? I would have thought it likely to be someone at the charity, not the Tory party.

my money would be on oliver dowden

 

[cupid_stunt]

But who wrote that description? I would have thought it likely to be someone at the charity, not the Tory party.

The Hertfordshire Community Foundation has confirmed that it was someone at the charity that penned the description, clearly mocking Johnson.

 

[AmateurAgitator]

From 2016



And for the record I blame Russian imperialism and irredentism for the dire situation in Ukraine.

 

[Pickman's model]

From 2016

View attachment 322463

And for the record I blame Russian imperialism and irredentism for the dire situation in Ukraine.

ah but he was being paid by putin then

 

[Artaxerxes]

The Hertfordshire Community Foundation has confirmed that it was someone at the charity that penned the description, clearly mocking Johnson.

It was presented and read out at the party in front of Mr Dowden who laughed heartily

I expect him to go the full Will Smith next time someone puts words in his mouth

 

[cupid_stunt]

It was presented and read out at the party in front of Mr Dowden who laughed heartily

Was it? Where has this come from?

 

[Ax^]

the blustercunt is going to visit North Ireland for what reason?

to kiss the arse of the DUP in person

 

[Artaxerxes]

Was it? Where has this come from?

 

[Artaxerxes]

Also lol.

 

[cupid_stunt]

It's hardly surprising people laughed at the caption, I would have done the same, because it was clearly mocking Johnson. Likewise it's hardly surprising that the twat Dowden didn't intervene, people were laughing at Johnson & the government that Dowden is part of.

That doesn't support your claim that 'Dowden laughed heartily'.

 

[existentialist]

Oh, he'll just say that he didn't want to cause a scene, that the caption was obviously sneaked in by some evil fifth-columnist revanchist unbeliever in the True Way Of The Tory, and that he is both the epitome of kind-hearted nobility and the snowflakiest victim of "woke" behaviour ever.

None of which should detract from the main question - "Who the suffering fuck thought that putting a Johnson-signed bottle of champagne in to a bunch of raffle prizes was ever going to be a good idea, particularly right now?"

 

[Artaxerxes]

It's hardly surprising people laughed at the caption, I would have done the same, because it was clearly mocking Johnson. Likewise it's hardly surprising that the twat Dowden didn't intervene, people were laughing at Johnson & the government that Dowden is part of.

That doesn't support your claim that 'Dowden laughed heartily'.

Yes I'm sure Oliver "war on woke" Dowden was just having a giggle at Johnson's expense and not having a cheeky giggle at the government getting away with having a pissup while people died.

 

[equationgirl]

Whatever is called Brexit is not what was voted for in the 2016 referendum.
He has not ‘delivered’ (why does that word piss me off in this context, or most contexts?) ‘leave’ which is what was voted for, for the whole of the UK.
Boris Johnson has not delivered on the referendum vote, and he has left the country with what was called a ‘democratic deficit’.

Leave the EU was not voted for in Scotland. The electrorate voted to Remain in the UK with 2/3 of the vote.