PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[two sheds]

What do you mean by 'leaving' though? Eh? Eh?

no I meant elbows but I think he's left whatever that means

 

[stavros]

Can we get back on topic, please? I've not looked at the news today, so I don't know whether or not Boris Johnson is still a cunt.

 

[moochedit]

Can we get back on topic, please? I've not looked at the news today, so I don't know whether or not Boris Johnson is still a cunt.

I don't need to see the news to know he is still a cunt.

 

[existentialist]

Can we get back on topic, please? I've not looked at the news today, so I don't know whether or not Boris Johnson is still a cunt.

Some assumptions are, on the balance of probabilities, safe to make.

I am not sure what could happen in one day that would move Johnson even one step down the cuntitude scale.

 

[Pickman's model]

Some assumptions are, on the balance of probabilities, safe to make.

I am not sure what could happen in one day that would move Johnson even one step down the cuntitude scale.

His head falling off in an amusing way

 

[SpookyFrank]

Donating his body to science. Specifically the field of ballistics.

 

[existentialist]

His head falling off in an amusing way

Nope. He'd still be as much of a cunt.

 

[Pickman's model]

Nope. He'd still be as much of a cunt.

yeh but he'd be a dead cunt in two pieces

 

[Ax^]

Donating his body to science. Specifically the field of ballistics.

i suggest the below maybe on a cannon to mark the jubalee


"Blowing from a gun is a method of execution in which the victim is typically tied to the mouth of a cannon which is then fired, often resulting in death. "

 

[Raheem]

yeh but he'd be a dead cunt in two pieces

He'd be able to be a cunt in two places at once. Even taking into account that he'd at least be dead, I'm not certain that would be ideal.

 

[Pickman's model]

He'd be able to be a cunt in two places at once. Even taking into account that he'd at least be dead, I'm not certain that would be ideal.

It's better than him being alive in one place

 

[LeytonCatLady]

yeh but he'd be a dead cunt in two pieces

No, worms don't die when chopped in two, they just grow back.

 

[Pickman's model]

No, worms don't die when chopped in two, they just grow back.

We'll chop him in three then

 

[Ax^]

with a Cannon

 

[quiet guy]

Can we get back on topic, please? I've not looked at the news today, so I don't know whether or not Boris Johnson is still a cunt.

If he's still breathing then yes he's a cunt. Even if he wasn't still breathing then he would still be a cunt.

 

[LeytonCatLady]

If he's still breathing then yes he's a cunt. Even if he wasn't still breathing then he would still be a cunt.

But without the warmth and depth.

 

[iona]

i suggest the below maybe on a cannon to mark the jubalee


"Blowing from a gun is a method of execution in which the victim is typically tied to the mouth of a cannon which is then fired, often resulting in death. "

Does it sometimes not result in death

 

[Ax^]

The results of a unsuccessful lethal discarge, Is what I can only be describe as not well


would only suggest for senior tories

 

[spitfire]

Looks like he's losing the black cab vote. The last line is a cracker.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I am glad I watched that to the end.

 

[spitfire]

I am glad I watched that to the end.

Only reason I shared it.

 

[scalyboy]

I am glad I watched that to the end.

Thanks for the tip, glad I stayed for the end too

 

[scalyboy]

"I had that Boris in the back of my cab the other day, when we arrived at his destination he got out, then wouldn't pay - denied that he'd been riding in a black cab at all and said he'd got there by bike"

 

[scalyboy]

"I didst have that Jacob Rees-Mogg inside my carriage t'other day; I lambasted the Mountebank as a Hell-born Shag-bag and did administer a goodlie and swift Kick to his tarrywags, then as he lay moaning upon the Paving I did emptie a Chamber-Pot fill'd with Sir-reverence and Stinking Piss over his head"

 

[teuchter]

If they are london taxi drivers then the interviews would have been much more interesting had they been asked why they voted for him when they'd already seen his performance as mayor.

 

[brogdale]

Ah, right...all beginning to make sense now...

 

[Raheem]

Fines have started arriving over to the Number 10 Christmas Party, the Mirror understands.

What kind of sentence is this?

 

[BCBlues]

What kind of sentence is this?

Prison ones hopefully

 

[teqniq]

Yes you will have read it all before, but as the person who posted it on Twitter laments this should be run by the BBC etc:

Opinion | Voters Have Finally Punished Boris Johnson

If Mr. Johnson does not go, and soon, it will be hard to avoid the conclusion that we have crossed a Rubicon from which it will be difficult to return.

www.nytimes.com

paywall busted article here

 

[Calamity1971]

So that's why he was late and fucked it up !
I wonder if Susanna can confirm that he shat himself live on air.