PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[cupid_stunt]

Not the brightest are they.

What with Mann having been a Labour MP.

 

[belboid]

Not the brightest are they.

What with Mann having been a Labour MP.

I think you’re missing the joke.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I think you’re missing the joke.

Yeah, I just got it.

 

[MrSki]

Yeah, I just got it.

 

[Raheem]

Where's he been today? Day three of the election campaign. Expect there's a factory somewhere in the Midlands that went out and bought an XXL hi-vis vest all for nothing.

 

[Don Troooomp]

Even his brother has fucked him off so he must be a massive twat of epic twatness.

 

[teqniq]

Oh, how we shall all miss Amber Rudd. Johnson can survive, though. Like a cockroach.

Can i direct your attenion briefly to this entertaining thread?

....
not much longer hopefully

 

[Steel Icarus]

Can i direct your attenion briefly to this entertaining thread?

....
not much longer hopefully

That's mental. And brilliant.

 

[cupid_stunt]

Julian Smith appears to be on 'resignation watch'.

The Mail on Sunday also understands that No 10 have put Northern Ireland Secretary Julian Smith on 'resignation watch' after a furious row over Cabinet access to Government legal advice. Mr Smith asked Mr Johnson if he would share the advice from lawyers about suspending Parliament during a Cabinet conference call last weekend, with the PM agreeing. However the request was later blocked, with Ministers pointing the finger at Mr Cummings for the decision.

 

[brogdale]

Julian Smith appears to be on 'resignation watch'.

Some BBCWS 'commentator' saying this morning that Johnson should be on 'resignation watch' tomorrow.

Stranger things, I suppose.

 

[agricola]

The Mail on Sunday has some really, really strange pro-Boris (and one pro- Rees-Mogg) articles in it today. This one is the strangest:

I wrote to Helen for weeks and then months, trying to get her to have a drink ‘so we can bring this unholy mess to a conclusion’.

I insisted that I’d had nothing to do with the leak. I travelled to the World Economic Forum in Davos, hoping that she might be there in her mink coat and knee-high sheepskin boots. I didn’t see her.

I did, however, see Boris addressing a lunch of British business leaders at the Belvedere hotel. After lunch, I cornered him in a corridor.

'Boris, good speech. Well done,’ I said.

'Listen, it’s about Helen. I know things haven’t exactly been easy for any of us, but can I make one thing absolutely clear?

'I want you to know that I had nothing to do with any of the press stories. What on earth had I got to gain?

'I wanted to marry Helen and bring up your daughter as my own. It was that simple.'

'Right… er… got it. Thanks for letting me know.'

And then we walked off in different directions.

https://www.daily mail.co.uk/news/article-7439103/Society-writer-William-Cash-reveals-Prime-Minister-agreed-let-raise-love-child.html

 

[editor]

Canada isn't too impressed.

Mr. Johnson is the author of 11 books, some admittedly banged out in the careless haste that is his style. But this week, without breaking a sweat, the PM penned the Odyssey and the Iliad of shambles. He faced his first votes in Parliament and lost them; lost his minority government’s governing majority; sacked 21 of his own MPs, including his party’s longest-serving member and Winston Churchill’s grandson; provoked his own brother into resigning from cabinet, citing a conflict between “family loyalty and the national interest"; and lost control of the House of Commons while remaining so offside the chamber’s confidence that it will not yet allow him to resolve the matter by calling an election.

Mr. Johnson did all that, and more, in the space of two days. What will tomorrow bring?

British politics today is what results from the collision of an unstoppable force, an immovable object and a clown car.

Globe editorial: How bad is Boris Johnson? We can’t even find the words

 

[Ming]

Canada isn't too impressed.


Globe editorial: How bad is Boris Johnson? We can’t even find the words

People round here think the UK's gone mad.

 

[cupid_stunt]

People round here think the UK's gone mad.

If you think the UK has gone mad, take a look south at the US, there's no comparison.

 

[existentialist]

If you think the UK has gone mad, take a look south at the US, there's no comparison.

I think expectations in regard to that country are probably already rather lower than of the UK. Mind you, that can't last long...

 

[cupid_stunt]

I think expectations in regard to that country are probably already rather lower than of the UK. Mind you, that can't last long...

Everything will be fine, Boris has a plan.

 

[Ming]

If you think the UK has gone mad, take a look south at the US, there's no comparison.

No disagreement from me regarding the US. As an expat in Canada it is embarrassing though. We're rather liked over here and there's a lot of polite bemusement regarding Brexit.

 

[cupid_stunt]

As an expat in Canada it is embarrassing though.

Welcome to the rollacoaster.

 

[Poi E]

As an expat in Canada it is embarrassing though. We're rather liked over here and there's a lot of polite bemusement regarding Brexit.

That famous Canadian politeness.

 

[teuchter]

That's mental. And brilliant.

It's neither. It's just a story about some insects.

 

[existentialist]

It's neither. It's just a story about some insects.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

To lose one MP, Mr. Johnson, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness

 

[Kaka Tim]

i actaully think the cunt is going to walk within a week. how the fuck did the not see all this shit coming when he was blustering around saying the Uk would leave on oct 31 "do or die"? Does he actually see himself as this hughley charismatic figure who sheer force of personality would make the Eu buckle or rouse the people of britain to join him on an exhilarating "no deal" crusade?
Cocaine is one hell of a drug ....

but - give him his due - he is vastly exceeded my expectations - i always expected him to be shit - but i never imagined that he could be so transcendentally, mind bogglingly shit as this.

no just digging his own grave - but the tory party's as well.

 

[Poot]

Do you remember six months ago when May looked a bit shit? *nostalgic sigh*.

 

[spring-peeper]

People round here think the UK's gone mad.

Around here, "what do you want?" is a response to the entire Brexit thing.

 

[MrSki]

Around here, "what do you want?" is a response to the entire Brexit thing.

'To get out of Europe' Why? 'Cos 17.4 million people voted for it' but why? 'To regain our... oh hold on.'

 

[kenny g]

Cocaine is one hell of a drug ....

.

It would explain a lot if he and cummings were shovelling up the chowder. Unfortunately for them I suspect it is more due to character than substance.

 

[spring-peeper]

'To get out of Europe' Why? 'Cos 17.4 million people voted for it' but why? 'To regain our... oh hold on.'

I was born in England, and people expect me to understand what is going on.
So people ask me, "what do they want?
I answer, "they want it all".

"Oh?!?!, okay then".

 

[MrSki]

Feel sorry for any poor fucker that looks a bit like Johnson.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Reminds me of the Village of the Damned.