PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[Raheem]

Is it too soon to start speculating about the resignation honours list? It’s going to be really interesting

Female interns?

 

[Kaka Tim]

hes about to start pmqs -

Im guessing he will throw the staff under the bus, deny knowledge that he knew it was a party and thought it was a "a meeting/get together within the rules", employ some desperate "what-about-ery" aimed at Labour, wave his arms and babble cobblers in order to obscure the issue.

Or maybe he will just talk about peppa pig instead.

 

[LeytonCatLady]

'cunts' is too soft a word for them.

Yep. Cunts at least have warmth and depth, unlike Johnson and his minions.

 

[Serene]

Allegra is safe, Johnson has her down as his next mistress.

 

[Serene]

Female interns?

Allegra is safe, Johnson has her down as his next mistress.

 

[LeytonCatLady]

Allegra is safe, Johnson has her down as his next mistress.

I can't believe how many women sleep with this revolting man. Where does he pick them up, Specsavers?

 

[Serene]

I can't believe how many women sleep with this revolting man. Where does he pick them up, Specsavers?

Aye, true. Money and ego are the two big causes of suffering these days.

 

[Kaka Tim]

pmqs - why is nobody asking weather the lying fuck was there or not?

 

[Petcha]

I want him to ask Boris who's 'assuring' him there was no party

 

[bimble]

Starmer is so boring, still it is yet another minor car crash for Johnson.
Only Patel has managed a supportive nod, Sunak's sat right behind Johnson and is pretending he's busy reading something in his lap.

 

[Petcha]

Starmer is so boring, still it is yet another minor car crash for Johnson.
Only Patel has managed a supportive nod, Sunak's sat right behind Johnson and is pretending he's busy reading something in his lap.

He got off the hook there I think. Now we're talking about Christians.

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

PMQs isn't where this is likely to cause him problems is it. If it does cut through it's not because people have listened to Keir Starmer.

 

[Serene]

Sunak's sat right behind Johnson and is pretending he's busy reading something in his lap.

Hes running some of his other businesses.

 

[Petcha]

I actually miss Tony Blair at this point. He would have fucking destroyed him. Starmer missed an open goal.

 

[Serene]

Have they handed time sheets out yet in Parliament?

 

[splonkydoo]

How can anyone take Starmer seriously, let alone Johnson.

 

[bimble]

ha sunak just nodded at 'is this the man to lead these islands'

 

[Ax^]

Laura K suggesting there are mutterings -

what happened is she pissed she was not invited

 

[SpookyFrank]

Despite what the Graun and co might say, I think losing this seat is highly unlikely. I'm from round there - I hope I'll eat my words, but it's always been dyed in the wool blue. Paterson might have muddied the waters but he hasn't poisoned the well.

Liked for excellent use of mixed metaphor.

 

[elbows]

No surprise that Blackford used more suitable rhetoric for the moment than Starmer managed.

 

[bimble]

PMQs isn't where this is likely to cause him problems is it. If it does cut through it's not because people have listened to Keir Starmer.

Of course, its just theatre, a shit punch and judy show, i get a tiny bit of pleasure from seeing his sweaty discomfort that's all.
I think any real threat is internal, from his own pissed off MPs, cos people don't like it when they're made to lie / toe the line and then it all comes out or u turns, and that does keep happening.

 

[Wilf]

I actually miss Tony Blair at this point. He would have fucking destroyed him. Starmer missed an open goal.

John Smith too. Rubbish piss weak politics but he'd have been a perfect foil to johnson's bluster.

 

[Pickman's model]

Is it too soon to start speculating about the resignation honours list? It’s going to be really interesting

These will be known as the resignation dishonours

 

[Pickman's model]

I actually miss Tony Blair at this point. He would have fucking destroyed him. Starmer missed an open goal.

Tony Blair of course as corrupt as they come. All Johnson would have had to say were the two words 'lord levy'

 

[Sprocket.]

I’m amazed that Downing Street was probably wick with members of the police service and not a single one of those mighty fine officers of the law realised there may be a party in progress.

 

[Serene]

Starmer is a tory agent. Its a wonder Starmer wasnt at the tory works do.

 

[elbows]

Of course, its just theatre, a shit punch and judy show, i get a tiny bit of pleasure from seeing his sweaty discomfort that's all.
I think any real threat is internal, from his own pissed off MPs, cos people don't like it when they're made to lie / toe the line and then it all comes out or u turns, and that does keep happening.

One of the interesting features of the early weeks and months of the pandemic was what it did to the shelf life of lies. We have a system that is well equipped to rely on bullshit, so long as the u-turns and revelations only emerge gradually. At the start of the pandemic the bullshit was found wanting within hours or days of leaving their mouthes, and that rather exposed the ugly reality. Having such a blatant and unsophisticated liar like Johnson in charge magnified the phenomenon.

 

[Pickman's model]

I actually miss Tony Blair at this point. He would have fucking destroyed him. Starmer missed an open goal.

Not to mention this from 2002 Andrew Rawnsley: The corruption of Tony Blair

 

[Raheem]

Weird cryptic question about whether there was a party in number 10 on 13 November 2020.

Here's a photo taken on that day.

 

[Petcha]

Weird cryptic question about whether there was a party in number 10 on 13 November 2020.

Here's a photo taken on that day.

I believe that party was actually in Johnson's own flat. Also worth noting that Stratton was hired on Carrie's orders and sacked on her orders, as was Cummings. Crazy shit.

edit: not sacked - 'moved' to Cop 26