PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[two sheds]

Gissajob I could do that

 

[Dogsauce]

Dodgy as fuck really isn’t it? A chance to speak directly to the public without being challenged, a taxpayer-funded free hit.

 

[two sheds]

and anything they say that turns out to be bollocks can be blamed on them rather than Johnson.

 

[Smangus]

Tempted to apply and use the first (and probably only) press conference to wax lyrical about what a cunt Cummings is. A short but sweet career as a Downing street spokesperson.

 

[Streathamite]

Gissajob I could do that

You'd be mad to want to. He'd be set up as Johnson's human shield

 

[Badgers]

You'd be mad to want to. He'd be set up as Johnson's human shield

Or greedy and attention seeking with your own side agenda?

 

[two sheds]

Boris Johnson repeatedly used inaccurate child poverty figures

UK statistics watchdog confirms PM exaggerated Tory record on issue

www.theguardian.com

What a cunt, eh, playing politics by lying about the number of children in poverty.

Boris Johnson repeatedly used inaccurate and misleading figures that exaggerated the government’s record on poverty, the UK statistics watchdog has confirmed.

The Office for Statistics Regulation (OSR) was responding to a complaint by the End Child Poverty Coalition that the prime minister had three times used official poverty data “selectively, inaccurately and, ultimately, misleadingly”.
...
At PMQs on 17 June, Johnson told the Labour leader, Keir Starmer, he was “completely wrong” to say child poverty had risen by 600,000. Poverty had declined since 2010, the PM claimed, and there were now 400,000 fewer families in poverty. Feuchtwang wrote that the 600,000 figure was correct.

When asked by Starmer at PMQs the following week to “do the decent thing” and correct the record on child poverty, Johnson declined and said there were “100,000 fewer children in absolute poverty and 500,000 children falling below thresholds of low income and material deprivation”.

Feuchtwang said that while the 100,000 figure was correct, the second figure was not: she pointed out that “there are actually 1.5 million children classed as low income and materially deprived”.

goes on to give four other "questionable" figures the tories have lied about: coronavirus testing, "taking back control of £350 million a week", rough sleeping and school funding.

 

[two sheds]

You'd be mad to want to. He'd be set up as Johnson's human shield

Yeh you'd have 3 minutes to say what you wanted about Johnson before they dragged you off the set though

 

[Sprocket.]

Or greedy and attention seeking with your own side agenda?

I will expect Laura Kuenssberg to apply then.

 

[Badgers]

I will expect Laura Kuenssberg to apply then.

I assumed she would be a shoe in as she is almost doing it already however it would be better to keep her as an 'impartial' supporter and employ yet another weasel on a fat salary to make more noise about how he is beating the world.

 

[teqniq]

The subtext for me at least is that Johnson is too lazy and perhaps also knows he is not actually very good at doing this sort of thing. Or even possibly any sort of thing apart from drinking too much and generally fucking up.

 

[Sprocket.]

Using a spokesperson for press briefings is, IMO just another stone for them to cower under. Johnson hasn’t got the nerve to stand, face and chance any criticism.

Edit: Beaten to it.

 

[Pickman's model]

Gissajob I could do that

Yes. But why would you want to?

 

[brogdale]

Boris Johnson repeatedly used inaccurate child poverty figures

UK statistics watchdog confirms PM exaggerated Tory record on issue

www.theguardian.com

What a cunt, eh, playing politics by lying about the number of children in poverty.



goes on to give four other "questionable" figures the tories have lied about: coronavirus testing, "taking back control of £350 million a week", rough sleeping and school funding.

Expect much more of this; clearly Cummings has decided that the way to discredit Der Starmer's 'forensic' schtick is to cast him as a nit-picking, establishment lawyer willing to take on any brief (flip-flopping). So if Johnson keeps up the trumping flow of whoppers, Der Starmer will stay in his caricature role.

 

[not-bono-ever]

can you imagine what kind of egotistical messiah gobshites would want that job ?

 

[two sheds]

can you imagine what kind of egotistical messiah gobshites would want that job ?

I'm half wondering whether Starmer might apply. He'd be forensic he would.

 

[Pickman's model]

I'm half wondering whether Starmer might apply. He'd be forensic he would.

Alistair Campbell throwing his hat in the ring

 

[tim]

can you imagine what kind of egotistical messiah gobshites would want that job ?

It'll be somebody from the Revolutionary Communist/Spiked gang.

 

[tim]

Alistair Campbell throwing his hat in the ring

He'll be too busy defending the honour fof his Captain's daughter.

 

[not-bono-ever]

It'll be somebody from the Revolutionary Communist/Spiked gang.

urgh. not keen on them concetration camp denying edgelords

 

[ska invita]

and anything they say that turns out to be bollocks can be blamed on them rather than Johnson.

absolutely...straight out of kafka...just as there's nothing to be gained from getting annoyed with the poor sod in a call center...shooting messengers...more time for boris to spend in the fridge.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Ghislaine Maxwell

 

[stavros]

can you imagine what kind of egotistical messiah gobshites would want that job ?

This was who I immediately thought of:

 

[SpookyFrank]

At PMQs last week he claimed that the awarding of honours was done independently of political parties. If that's the case many in the Lords wasted a lot of money.

And in the case of John Mann, many years of loyal service to the tories.

 

[not a trot]

bungle rainbow - Bing

Intelligent search from Bing makes it easier to quickly find what you’re looking for and rewards you.

www.bing.com

These guys aren't doing much these days. Sure Bungle would be an appropriate choice for the job.

 

[Espresso]

Wouldn't surprise me one tiny bit if Piers Morgan applied for that. Then went to town telling all and sundry that Boris was afraid of him and that's why he didn't get the job

 

[brogdale]

Wot, no Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf suggestion yet?

 

[Sprocket.]

Andrew Sabisky is at a loose end!

 

[William of Walworth]

The subtext for me at least is that Johnson is too lazy and perhaps also knows he is not actually very good at doing this sort of thing. Or even possibly any sort of thing apart from allegedly drinking too much and generally fucking up.

Corrected for you

 

[tim]

Andrew Sabisky is at a loose end!

So is the former MP for Vauxhall

HOEY: Well, of course, this was an election about leaving the EU. And if they had - many of those seats had voted by big majorities to leave. And three years later, they had seen Labour MPs in Parliament doing everything they could to stop it, frustrating it, delaying it. They saw that. They didn't trust the party to get us out. Boris Johnson is a great campaigner. I worked with him when he was mayor of London, and he knew how to get through and talk to people in the north. He spent a lot of time, much more than any other Conservative leader, in those heartlands.