PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[Sue]

So this is happening...

Paul Waugh
@paulwaugh
It's happening. Statement from Intelligence and Security Committee: "The Committee has unanimously agreed this morning that it will publish the Report on Russia prepared by its predecessor before the house rises for the summer recess. There will be no further comment."

Assume this was the quid pro quo for supporting Lewis .

 

[Badgers]

Nine Russian businesspeople who gave money to the Tories have been named in a report that was "sordidly covered up" by 10 Downing Street, it is claimed today.

Russian Tory donors 'named' in report 'sordidly covered up' by No10

The Sunday Times claims to have obtained details of a report by the Intelligence and Security Committee that wasn't published before the election

www.mirror.co.uk

 

[stavros]

It's taken so long because they've struggled to find a font big enough for Cummings to read.

 

[ruffneck23]

 

[eatmorecheese]

Puts me off my late breakfast

 

[ruffneck23]

Puts me off my late breakfast

Sorry

 

[eatmorecheese]

Just popped by to say...

Lord Botham of Brexit?

That is all.

 

[philosophical]

Lord Botham of Scunthorpe.
The clue is in the name.

 

[elbows]

Gimpston Herdchill and the Second Waves have been firming up their set list and stage wardrobes for their 'it will all be over by Christmas' tour.

Coronavirus: Boris Johnson 'does not want second national lockdown'

Having the option of a nationwide shutdown is like a "nuclear deterrent", the prime minister says.

www.bbc.co.uk

Mr Johnson said authorities were getting better at identifying and isolating local outbreaks, adding that the power to order national action will remain an option.

"I can't abandon that tool any more than I would abandon a nuclear deterrent. But it is like a nuclear deterrent, I certainly don't want to use it. And nor do I think we will be in that position again," he said.

Amd they think they've found a way to make the pandemic fit their agenda and propaganda:

In the wide-ranging Telegraph interview to mark the prime minister's first year in office, Boris Johnson insisted his agenda for domestic reform and "levelling up" the economy would not be blown off course by the pandemic.

"We want to be a transformative government because there's a massive opportunity in this country to do things differently and to do things better," he said.

"We've seen that really exemplified in what happened with coronavirus."

He said that while the Civil Service was "absolutely fantastic", lessons could be learned from the pandemic.

"Maybe there are ways in which we can all learn together to do things faster, to have a real spirit of 'can do'. I think sometimes it's a question of confidence and belief," he said.

 

[two sheds]

Yep exactly like a nuclear deterrent, where using it kills millions of people.

 

[quiet guy]

He really is a prize ass of the first order for saying it'll all be over by Christmas.

 

[Dogsauce]

Fuck off with the ‘can do spirit’ you fucking two-bit David Brent.

 

[Pickman's model]

Fuck off with the ‘can do spirit’ you fucking two-bit David Brent.

No no, we need some of this can do spirit

It may seem impossible that things can get better

But faint heart never won fair maid

We can get rid of Johnson

We can turn him into penguin food

You must believe that to be true

 

[existentialist]

He really is a prize ass of the first order for saying it'll all be over by Christmas.

I don't think this is ignorance of history...I just think that his hardon for the snappy soundbite means he can't stop opening his mouth and shoving his foot in up to the knee.

 

[Pickman's model]

I don't think this is ignorance of history...I just think that his hardon for the snappy soundbite means he can't stop opening his mouth and shoving his foot in up to the knee.

He wrote a book which claims Hitler won at Stalingrad. He is pig ignorant.

 

[ska invita]

He really is a prize ass of the first order for saying it'll all be over by Christmas.

It works

 

[JimW]

Fuck off with the ‘can do spirit’ you fucking two-bit David Brent.

Code for deregulation you presume.

 

[stavros]

Which do we all think will be most valuable in fighting the virus: guts, can-do spirit or oomph? Medical academics are divided.

ETA: I should've included good old fashioned common sense, which is a Panacea to everything.

 

[brogdale]

Caption opportunity...

 

[pesh]

Boris Johnson sets out to prove you absolutely definitely can't get it twice.

 

[two sheds]

or give it to kids if you get it twice

(depending on when that was taken)

 

[Streathamite]

Years ago, I decided to shave may pubes.
It ended up looking like a chipolata over two snooker balls in a leather coin purse.

I reckon he looks similar

Ugghh! I really didn't want that image implanted in my mind!

 

[steveo87]

Ugghh! I really didn't want that image implanted in my mind!

 

[stavros]

Caption opportunity...

View attachment 222971

I'm curious about which digram is to the right of "sh".

 

[brogdale]

Some posho remoaney stuff can be quite amusing:

 

[frogwoman]

Caption opportunity...

View attachment 222971

Did he draw that?

 

[brogdale]

Did he draw that?

I think so...from memory there appeared to be another pic of him part way through; quite good for his mental age!

 

[stavros]

At PMQs last week he claimed that the awarding of honours was done independently of political parties. If that's the case many in the Lords wasted a lot of money.

 

[MrSki]

 

[elbows]

Coronavirus: Boris Johnson says response shows 'might of UK union'

Boris Johnson visits Scotland as the SNP says he is worried about support for independence.

www.bbc.co.uk

What might was that exactly? Might get round to a lockdown, might drag heels and try to avoid one? Might bother to pretend to care, might just make jokes about operation last gasp and then end up hospitalised? Might recycle the obsolete free trade lockdown-resisting Clark Kent cape of his early 2020 fantasies into one of the shittest masks yet seen on a politician in this pandemic?

Also the rather different nature of analysis north of the border, even from the BBC, is a source of continued eyebrow wiggling for me. I know this is far from a new phenomenon, and in this case its still the BBC so it still veers off in the usual direction, the safety frame is still there.

This visit is, first of all, an exercise in power.

The prime minister is stressing the power of the UK Treasury; the power of the armed might of the UK in the fight against coronavirus.

But if it's only about power and might, that's like jingoism or imperialism and the prime minister is alert to that.

So I think he will also say that it's about a combined bond - a bond forged by the union over 300 years between the peoples of England and Scotland.

It isn't just about the clout of cash and arms. Boris Johnson has called himself the Minister for the Union as well as the prime minister and so, for him, this trek north of the border is an attempt to defend the Union as he sees it from a substantial and substantive threat.