Local Newspaper Headlines!

[Siouxsie]

"In a mixed bathroom, I tripped over a bust of Napoleon, which left me sprawled on the floor underneath a young lady who seemed to have neglected her underwear. The shock of my arrival at her feet led to .... the unexpected"

This thread is about headlines, Wilf...not your fantasies!

 

[farmerbarleymow]

This thread is about headlines, Wilf...not your fantasies!

I don't think anyone fantasises about getting chlamydia in their eyes.

 

[DaveCinzano]

I don't think anyone fantasises about getting chlamydia in their eyes.

Such a sheltered life

 

[Siouxsie]

I don't think anyone fantasises about getting chlamydia in their eyes.

Never underestimate the sickness of the human psyche!

 

[Idaho]

I don't think anyone fantasises about getting chlamydia in their eyes.

You're so vanilla.

 

[Wilf]

This thread is about headlines, Wilf...not your fantasies!

If someone offered to pee in my face, I'd be thinking 'ewwwww... dirty bastard, fuck off'. But then I'm very polite. Lack of assertiveness could lead to me ending up at the docs and having to make up a story resting my eyeballs on a toilet seat.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Such a sheltered life

You're so vanilla.

Happy to be vanilla rather than a depraved pervert like Wilf seems to be

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Actually, it would make for an interesting conversation at the clap clinic - asking them to swabs eyes instead of the usual places...

 

[Wilf]

Happy to be vanilla rather than a depraved pervert like Wilf seems to be

I'm beginning to wonder whether I've revealed too much of my private life on this thread! Mucky-ocular fetishist and proud!

 

[Wilf]

Actually, it would make for an interesting conversation at the clap clinic - asking them to swabs eyes instead of the usual places...

'erm, shall I drop my kecks?'
- no, just remove your specs

 

[BoxRoom]

Robot Security Guard Commits ‘Suicide’ By Driving Into a Pond and Drowning

View attachment 111589

Overworked, underpaid; how many know that one?

 

[hash tag]

Poor Steve.

 

[hash tag]

Never underestimate the sickness of the human psyche!

"You can't argue with a sick mind".

If someone offered to pee in my face, I'd be thinking 'ewwwww... dirty bastard, fuck off'. But then I'm very polite. Lack of assertiveness could lead to me ending up at the docs and having to make up a story resting my eyeballs on a toilet seat.

If you are so "polite" just how on earth would you end up in a postion where someone would pee on your face

 

[farmerbarleymow]

If you are so "polite" just how on earth would you end up in a postion where someone would pee on your face

False modesty. He's really a raging pervert.

 

[hash tag]

Often the way, especially with ex public school types or so I believe.

 

[Wilf]

"You can't argue with a sick mind".



If you are so "polite" just how on earth would you end up in a postion where someone would pee on your face

Look, good manners cost nothing. Though sometimes, I admit, I'm too polite. It allows people to walk all over me...

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Look, good manners cost nothing. Though sometimes, I admit, I'm too polite. It allows people to walk all over me...

(((poor Wilf's eyeballs, oozing chlamydia pus)))

 

[Wilf]

oozing chlamydia pus

Apparently, one of the bandnames rejected by The Bee Gees.

 

[petee]

A Parrot Really Helped Convict a Woman of Murdering Her Husband

A Michigan jury has convicted a woman of first-degree murder in the shooting death of her husband. Sounds like your average episode of Snapped, right? Not quite. The crime was apparently witnessed by the man's pet parrot, which has been heard repeating the phrase, "Don't fucking shoot."

 

[Casual Observer]

 

[DaveCinzano]

(((poor Wilf's eyeballs, oozing chlamydia pus)))

I bet you made a mint working those 0898 lines

 

[DaveCinzano]

 

[alan_]

The tank spotted yesterday

 

[Wilf]

I bet you made a mint working those 0898 lines

The sister of somebody at work got a job working on the sex lines/sexting with gentlemen. Apparently she got sacked for pointing out the grammatical flaws in the company's online profiles.

 

[DaveCinzano]

The sister of somebody at work got a job working on the sex lines/sexting with gentlemen. Apparently she got sacked for pointing out the grammatical flaws in the other company's online profiles.

I would have thought innate strictness would have been rewarded handsomely

 

[Wilf]

I would have thought innate strictness would have been rewarded handsomely

Sarcastic pedantry is a more specialised field. Mind, there's a few urbanites who she might...

 

[T & P]

I don't think anyone fantasises about getting chlamydia in their eyes.

Rule 34 has taught me to assume otherwise, no matter how implausible.

 

[8den]

Carnage?

 

[T & P]

That headline is so grammatically incorrect it is hurting my brain.

 

[Wilf]

That headline is so grammatically incorrect it is hurting my brain.

Grammar tends to slip after the third bottle of Bucky.