Local Newspaper Headlines!

[DaveCinzano]

Some days Bristol does not let you down

Three-year-old attacked by seagull eating rat in Castle Park

A couple of hours after posting this I watched a gull casually rip apart a still twitching pigeon just outside the main entrance to work

 

[alan_]

More Grass Pointers this time north of the border. Attention you three pointing twats several posts above, these two pointing twats would LOVE grass clippings all over their manor

 

[petee]

a people pointing at or through grass thread is indicated.

 

[DaveCinzano]

 

[DaveCinzano]

Usual ‘not local’ caveats apply

 

[Ground Elder]

 

[andysays]

Usual ‘not local’ caveats apply

It is local to me, and when I saw it on the front page of someone's paper on my way to work on Friday, I thought at first it referred to our own recently-departed-but-not-at-all-missed SBT

 

[petee]

most canadian headline ever

N.L. driver hits moose while looking at other driver who hit moose — and three other moose crashes

 

[DaveCinzano]

most canadian headline ever

N.L. driver hits moose while looking at other driver who hit moose — and three other moose crashes

WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE POOR MOOSES?!

 

[DaveCinzano]

Mooses? Meese? Moosi?

 

[DotCommunist]

moose loose aboot this hoos

 

[cupid_stunt]

Not a headline, but funny, if it hasn't already been posted.

Meet Cunty Councillor...

 

[DaveCinzano]

Not a headline, but funny, if it hasn't already been posted.

Meet Cunty Councillor...
View attachment 110660

Looks like a Bavarian chicken farmer

 

[BoxRoom]

most canadian headline ever

N.L. driver hits moose while looking at other driver who hit moose — and three other moose crashes

They really moosed up!

 

[petee]

'It is strange to see the British struggling with the beaver'

'It is strange to see the British struggling with the beaver': why is rewilding so controversial?

not local etc.

 

[Santino]

'It is strange to see the British struggling with the beaver'

Probably my favourite Noël Coward song.

 

[Artaxerxes]

a people pointing at or through grass thread is indicated.

U rated Reservoir Dogs lacks a certain something I feel.

 

[eoin_k]

Not a headline, but funny, if it hasn't already been posted.

Meet Cunty Councillor...
View attachment 110660

We could all read between the lines, but the original deserves to be appreciated in full:

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Every year the small town of Seward NE, hosts a fairly large Forth of July celebration. Part of their tradition is to have the Sheriff go out on Interstate 80 and stop a car, take them into town, and make them the honorary parade kings or queens. Oh, lets be honest, they practically kidnap them. This year it was a hapless family from Ireland who looked a bit disconcerted by the whole thing:

One of the most unique things about the event is the selection of a Tour Family. Every year, the local sheriff selects a family to pullover or take, and invites them to be put on a float, along with being provided a hotel for the night. This year's family came all the way from Ireland, and it gave them a bit of a scare.

Jim Sheehan said, "I was frightened to death! It took me over an hour to get over it!."

Breda Kenny, another member of the family, said, "A relative just pulled in front of us, so I thought okay, she is going to talk her way out of it."

But everything turned out okay.

"We really embrace this and the purpose, yeah very happy to be here," said Sheehan.

Seward rockets away with Fourth of July celebration

So they take them to town, feed them, put them on a parade float, give them a few goodies, a hotel room for the night, and a hearty American breakfast before releasing them back into the wild the next day.

 

[Ground Elder]

Turning on taps, tipping over logs and hammering windows – is this Cornwall’s most notorious gang?

We have been getting reports of youths causing issues in St Columb Major over the past week, including youths climbing on the tractor shed roof in the St Columb Major recreation ground at around 3pm. We will be monitoring the area over the next week.

I'm posting this in memory of Tobyjug, who had the answer to this sort of thing.

 

[Libertad]

Turning on taps, tipping over logs and hammering windows – is this Cornwall’s most notorious gang?



I'm posting this in memory of Tobyjug, who had the answer to this sort of thing.

Dangerous place St Columb.

 

[petee]

Scottish Man Loses An Aye In Disturbing Attack

 

[JimW]

Not a headline, but this letter to my local paper cracked me up:

AFTER your inspiring articles about how special Stroud is, I feel I want to blow one of the best kept secrets of the Western world: Tito’s Yugoslavia.

When Tito started his system of Workers Self-Management in 1950, Yugoslavia as it was then, had a largely peasant population.

By 1980 when Tito died (he made no arrangements for his succession) Yugoslavia was making cars under licence from Fiat and building ships at Split.

The system was that you could employ up to seven people but then the enterprise had to be run by an elected council who had the power to appoint and remove the director of the enterprise.

In other words, in Tito’s Yugoslavia the workforce had the power to sack their boss!

I visited there for a month in 1969 and was struck by two things: One, there were no licensing laws whatever for alcohol, but I saw no drunks at all.

Secondly, someone told me you could enter Yugoslavia from seven countries, but “people stand straighter in Yugoslavia”.

That spoke volumes.

If your readers doubt this, a detailed description is in Harold Lydall’s Yugoslav Socialism.

David Guinness

Stroud

Reader's Letter: Tito’s way
Is Dave suggesting this is the next step for the town council? Certainly Stroud can be seen as the cockpit of the struggle for workers' self-management.

 

[petee]

Police: Man shot while dragging raccoon to crab pot; suspect arrested

 

[DaveCinzano]

suspect arrested

 

[farmerbarleymow]

View attachment 111305

An oddly long neck.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Every year the small town of Seward NE, hosts a fairly large Forth of July celebration. Part of their tradition is to have the Sheriff go out on Interstate 80 and stop a car, take them into town, and make them the honorary parade kings or queens. Oh, lets be honest, they practically kidnap them. This year it was a hapless family from Ireland who looked a bit disconcerted by the whole thing:



Seward rockets away with Fourth of July celebration

So they take them to town, feed them, put them on a parade float, give them a few goodies, a hotel room for the night, and a hearty American breakfast before releasing them back into the wild the next day.

It's obvious that in the olden days they used to sacrifice them on an alternative in the town square to appease their god - they've just sanitised it to make it acceptable.

Does the town have a history of making wicker products?

 

[Libertad]

An oddly long neck.

Firky's Northwestern cousin.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

It's obvious that in the olden days they used to sacrifice them on an alternative in the town square to appease their god - they've just sanitised it to make it acceptable.

Does the town have a history of making wicker products?

Interestingly enough:

Preparation for the ceremony, which ended in a ritual feast and dance by the entire village, involved several stages and sacred songs. After being dressed by the Morning Star priest in sacred raiments from the Morning Star bundle and anointed with red ointment, the captive stayed with the Wolf man, who brought her daily to the warrior leader for meals eaten with utensils from the Morning Star bundle.

On the appropriate predawn morning, the Wolf man led the captive to the scaffold, constructed of different symbolic species of wood. The killing was carried out with a ceremonial bow and arrow. Immediately a stone knife incision was made near the heart, and specially prepared buffalo meat held to receive drops of the victim's blood before being prepared for feasting. Before the body was removed and placed in the prairie facing east, the entire village, including children, lodged dozens of arrows in the victim's back. The Skiris believed that this ceremony allowed the victim's spirit to ascend to the sky to become a star, while her body returned to the earth.

Encyclopedia of the Great Plains | MORNING STAR CEREMONY

What's a parade float, but a modern scaffold?

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Interestingly enough:



Encyclopedia of the Great Plains | MORNING STAR CEREMONY

What's a parade float, but a modern scaffold?

Run for the hills.