Local Newspaper Headlines!

[DotCommunist]

Does DotCommunist know something about this?
People are sticking up fake newspaper headlines in Kettering and it's bloody great

I wish I did

 

[hash tag]

It wouldn't have surprised me if that had referred to somewhere on the A3, possibly Wisley or the Hogs Back, near Godalming, but people in Audi's don't hang around long enough to get up to that sort of thing

 

[hash tag]

Not a funny story, but I see the Leeds police are hunting for a giant penis. Well, each to their own.

Police seek man dressed as 'giant penis' after Leeds attack

 

[scifisam]

 

[pesh]

 

[hash tag]

Those are the dogs of a gay man. The Catholic Church does not like gay men, hence the masks.

 

[Orang Utan]

Those are the dogs of a gay man. The Catholic Church does not like gay men, hence the masks.

it's the unfunny comedy duo, the Rubberbandits
and wtf? dogs of a gay man? are you a time traveller from the 80s?

 

[scifisam]

I think they're the dogs from the headline I posted and the flouty sex attacker has found a friend.

 

[Orang Utan]

It's just a photo from a different story, like a lot of these incongruous/funny headline/photo juxtapositions - the photo is from a story about the Rubberbandits having a new tv show.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Cheers, Bristol Post - “The Paper All Bristol Asked For and Helped to Create”

Bristol's most notorious dogging hotspots revealed

 

[Ground Elder]

Bristol's most notorious dogging hotspots revealed

Nice enough, but not as picturesque as Cornwall's

 

[Indeliblelink]

Mum and daughter licked Poundworld staff's feet after phone call

 

[Ground Elder]

My favourite part of that Pound World story

"We are both too scared to go into pound world now. I had to go in again to get these special straws for the holiday because it was the only place where I could get them...

In other news

 

[scifisam]

Mum and daughter licked Poundworld staff's feet after phone call

That is one of the weirdest things I've ever read, and it's got strong competition.

 

[Ground Elder]

Iceland staff 'had to pretend to be a vacuum cleaner' for mum and teen in SECOND hoax caller case

...at one point Michelle was asked to find a "tall and beautiful" person in the shop to pass the phone to
"I couldn't find anyone who matched the description, but I found a small elderly lady.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Iceland staff 'had to pretend to be a vacuum cleaner' for mum and teen in SECOND hoax caller case

Sounds like one of those horrific Hidden Online Entrapment Control System computer games that The Kids are all into these days

 

[Voley]

Have we had this yet?

 

[DaveCinzano]

Okay, so not a headline, but deserves to be:

JESUS CHRIST, MAN'S
INJECTING BROWNS
IN HIS COCKY!

Cabot 'bomb' and addict injecting in penis in week's top videos

 

[Siouxsie]

I'm deeply offended by that video....cocky...cocky, who calls it a cocky

 

[Lord Camomile]

Mysterious bag of darts trophies dumped on Belvedere woman’s drive

Spoiler: Massive photos

Yup, for some reason they they had her pose for the same picture in two different locations, then used both shots

 

[petee]

Man Allegedly Bench-Presses Goose for 10 Minutes at L.A. Park; Goose Allegedly Loves It

 

[mx wcfc]

Headline

CAR NEARLY UNDERWATER IN READING

 

[Siouxsie]

Man Allegedly Bench-Presses Goose for 10 Minutes at L.A. Park; Goose Allegedly Loves It

Bench presses....is that what you call it!
I find the goose feet ridiculously cute. Do you think there is a law against goose foot kissing ....there doesn't seem to be one against goose firkling

 

[hash tag]

I know there is an unpleasant story behind this, only local man fined 666 for burning a Bible

Devon man who burned Bible in row over Christmas is fined £666

 

[DaveCinzano]

I know there is an unpleasant story behind this, only local man fined 666 for burning a Bible

Devon man who burned Bible in row over Christmas is fined £666

Story could only have been improved by taking place in Hull

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Don't know whether this is a local paper or not, but good headline.



From the Arizona Republic.

 

[petee]

Three people charged for getting busy on a roof in Lancaster County

 

[hash tag]

"getting busy"; I've not heard that one before

 

[Opera Buffa]

Bristol Bee Peril

Thousands of bees swarm covering tree '6 inches thick'

“The air was thick with angry bees” according to one witness...

 

[Yossarian]

Not a headline, but I thought this intro from the Bangor Daily News was too good not to share:

While jogging on a familiar, overgrown, wooded trail near her home on a recent warm afternoon, Rachel Borch thought to herself. “What a beautiful day.”

Little did she know she was about to be attacked by a rabid raccoon that she would end up killing with her bare hands.

Maine woman attacked by raccoon drowns rabid animal in puddle