Local Newspaper Headlines!

[bimble]

 

[farmerbarleymow]

View attachment 104770

Makes me wonder how big the rocket would need to be to launch a herd of elephants to Mars.

 

[hash tag]

Does that mean I can't go to Mars

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Does that mean I can't go to Mars

No reason why not, although if you're an elephant who has somehow mastered the art of using a computer, you might want to speak to NASA about whether they have a suitable rocket for you.

 

[iona]

Alastair Reynolds' Poseidon's Children trilogy features elephants in space, in case anyone feels the need to do further reading on this subject

This was big news round my mum's way last week - A herd of cows is causing severe train delays in Kent

 

[chandlerp]

Makes me wonder how big the rocket would need to be to launch a herd of elephants to Mars.

Just pack them in the trunk

 

[DaveCinzano]

No reason why not, although if you're an elephant who has somehow mastered the art of using a computer, you might want to speak to NASA about whether they have a suitable rocket for you.

With skin that leathery he wants to see his pachydermatologist

 

[DaveCinzano]

Just pack them in the trunk

TSK

 

[Pickman's model]

hackney gazette

 

[hash tag]

A gold Volvo in Hackney; was that to "melt in" to all the other cars in the area to help evade detection?

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]

 

[Casual Observer]

 

[MrSki]

 

[Siouxsie]

Adam Farrah 33 of JACKsdale....am I the only one who finds that funny!

 

[MrSki]

 

[MrSki]

Adam Farrah 33 of JACKsdale....am I the only one who finds that funny!

No.

 

[MrSki]

 

[DaveCinzano]

Anyone checked out Onket's alibi?

 

[JimW]

Heard the bloke really layered into him.

 

[rekil]

Oldcastle auction to see rare eight-and-a-half inch carved ivory penis go under the hammer

Hollywood actor John Cusack's link to Nobber revealed

 

[phillm]

The Daily Zilch

NOTHING
HAPPENENED.....
AGAIN

(in other pages - nothing)

Page Zero

 

[Ground Elder]

 

[Voley]

Now that is some quality journalistic research right there.

 

[JimW]

Oldcastle auction to see rare eight-and-a-half inch carved ivory penis go under the hammer...

"Interest is rising"

 

[DaveCinzano]

Hollywood actor John Cusack's link to Nobber revealed

Genuine local paper banter too:

During the interview, they got to the topic of Cusack’s family history. “He was told his whole life by his mother that her family was from Galway and his father’s family was from Meath. Our report showed it was the other way round”.

“I have always been told the reverse, the Cusacks were from Meath and the Carolans were from Galway,” Cusack replied.

 

[Nine Bob Note]

And from this evening's edition of Barrow's finest...

Dead rat shocks shoppers in Barrow town centre
VISITORS to Barrow town centre are having to walk past a dead rat in Dalton Road.

 

[DaveCinzano]

And from this evening's edition of Barrow's finest...

Dead rat shocks shoppers in Barrow town centre
VISITORS to Barrow town centre are having to walk past a dead rat in Dalton Road.

I call bullshit - no way shoppers in Barrow town centre so much as blinked at a dead rat.

 

[hash tag]

Lembit Opik to be dad at 52 with much younger girlfriend - despite impaling accident

I didn't mean it, it was an accident

Lembit Opik to become a dad despite fears impaling accident left him sterile

 

[Opera Buffa]