Local Newspaper Headlines!

[secondwind]

Stolen car found on top of metal drum at roundabout in Annan

Police Scotland said the black Honda Civic had been stolen from a property in Annan.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Stolen car found on top of metal drum at roundabout in Annan

Police Scotland said the black Honda Civic had been stolen from a property in Annan.

www.bbc.co.uk

How the hell did they manage that?

 

[HoratioCuthbert]

Lol I came here to post that too! I think it serves as a warning to the people of Annan to not fuck whoever this person is over.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

"Couple get payout after water buffaloes fall into Essex swimming pool"

Couple get payout after water buffaloes fall into Essex swimming pool

Andy and Lynette Smith spent 10 months seeking compensation after animals’ escape from nearby farm

www.theguardian.com

 

[cupid_stunt]

"Couple get payout after water buffaloes fall into Essex swimming pool"

Couple get payout after water buffaloes fall into Essex swimming pool

Andy and Lynette Smith spent 10 months seeking compensation after animals’ escape from nearby farm

www.theguardian.com

“When my wife went to make the morning tea, she glanced out of the kitchen window and saw eight buffaloes in the pool,” said Andy Smith. “She called 999 and was told the fire brigade don’t accept hoax calls. It took some persuading to get them to take us seriously. When they arrived, one of the buffaloes, spooked by their hi-vis jackets, headed straight at them.”

Reminds me as a kid our garden was invaded by sheep, that had escaped from a field and came in via our open front gate, my dad called the local cop shop, back in the days you when could do that, and they weren't interested as they were on private property, basically 'sorry, not our problem.'

So, we took control of the crime scene, then my dad called the cop shop back, 'I phoned a while ago about sheep in our garden and you said it wasn't your problem', 'yes, sir, I took your call', 'well we've herded them back out onto the road and closed our gate, so there're your problem now'.

The two coppers that came out were not amused, but it was funny as fuck for us.

 

[Lord Camomile]

Ok, this is a lot better than your usual "grumpy photo with cause of mild annoyance"

Frustrated Gloucestershire residents give birthday cake to temporary traffic lights on A46

 

[cupid_stunt]

Ok, this is a lot better than your usual "grumpy photo with cause of mild annoyance"

Frustrated Gloucestershire residents give birthday cake to temporary traffic lights on A46

Oi, they nicked that idea from Worthing, and our Town Crier at the time.

 

[two sheds]

I think we have a thread winner

Behold Cornwall's utterly bonkers worm charming championships

Competitors managed to charm a staggering 260 worms out of the ground using a combination of musical instruments, garden tools, interpretive dance and utter madness

www.cornwalllive.com

 

[hitmouse]

Lamb found in car with 'drugs worth £10,000' on Scots motorway

Police Dog Billy was 'instrumental' in the find of heroin and cocaine along the M74 on Saturday as cops confirmed three people have been arrested and charged.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk

Important update on the Scottish drug lamb:

Happy ending for stolen lamb found in drugs bust

The Welsh cross lamb at the centre of a bizarre drugs bust in Central Scotland, is now safely returned to its owner.

www.thescottishfarmer.co.uk

 

[elbows]

Man in agony after devouring 4,500 calories mixed grill challenge in 27 minutes

Max ate twice the recommended daily intake of calories - including a 20oz steak, 12ounces of gammon, a cheeseburger, sausages, chicken, chips, eggs, veg and salad

www.devonlive.com

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Nurse runs for her life after spotting 'black panther' in the street

Evody admits she was exhausted after back to back shifts

www.cambridge-news.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

UPSIDE DOWN bus timetables continue saga of £6.1m city centre revamp

New bus stops may have finally arrived in St Stephens Street but Norwich folk have been left baffled due to timetables being UPSIDE DOWN.

www.eveningnews24.co.uk

This report keeps on delivering, and features some classic local rag photos.

And, it wasn't just one bus stop!

Now it has emerged that the timetables have been installed the wrong way up in all of the shelters along the rejuvenated street.

12 new shelters were installed as part of the project, which was described by a number of business leaders and locals as "pointless".

Council leaders have previously said the new look is "something Norwich should be proud of", with new planters and eight of the new shelters to have living roofs with a mixture of wildflowers on top to help bees and pollinators.

However, the new sawtooth bus bays have also been criticised by cyclists as being "absolutely lethal.

 

[elbows]

Train chaos left people vomiting and urinating themselves on way back from Wembley, Sky Blues fan claims

Sky Blues fan claims trains chaos left people vomiting on way home from Wembley

Darren Robinson said he'll never travel by train again

www.coventrytelegraph.net

Darren said the situation quickly became 'very aggravated' as unruly fans started to force open the barrier and hurl themselves onto the train back to Coventry. He said: “It was something out of a zombie movie.

 

[ouirdeaux]

What did they expect? Why would you go to Coventry unless you were sent there?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Ducks found swimming in 'pond' created by water leak in Worthing – in pictures

Frustrated Worthing residents have come up with a novel way to highlight a water leak – floating rubber ducks in the ‘pond’ it has created.

www.sussexexpress.co.uk

 

[ouirdeaux]

They should have put inverted commas around 'ducks' as well, really.

 

[HoratioCuthbert]

Thought this was the best place to put this, history graduate hands Bruce Springsteen her dissertation about him.

“But by that point, he had announced the Murrayfield concert already, and the rest is history.”

BOOM!

Bruce Anderson brace earns Livi victory at basement boys Ross County

Visiting goalkeeper Shamal George barely had a save to make in an uneventful first half.

news.stv.tv

springsteen-given-12000-word-dissertation-at-murrayfield-gig-about-himself?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1685606332

 

[HoratioCuthbert]

Similarly, LOCAL LASSES!

Leslie told Shetland News: “While we were [waiting] we wrote Shetland in the flag as we thought Harry would just think it was a Scotland flag.”

‘We were screaming so loud’ – joy for local lasses as Harry Styles waves their Shetland flag

GLOBAL megastar Harry Styles held aloft the Shetland flag on Friday night after a group of locals threw it on to the stage at his concert at Murrayfield in...

www.shetnews.co.uk

 

[Orang Utan]

Shouldn’t that be ‘on the hop’?

 

[ouirdeaux]

Surely it's possible to run with a prosthetic leg. At least some manage it. There's even a Paralympics for them.

 

[Orang Utan]

Surely it's possible to run with a prosthetic leg. At least some manage it. There's even a Paralympics for them.

That’s not in the headline though

 

[Indeliblelink]

Man arrested after driving lawn mower on dual carriageway

A MAN remains in police custody after driving a lawn mower on a dual carriageway.

www.bucksfreepress.co.uk

 

[cupid_stunt]

Man arrested after driving lawn mower on dual carriageway

A MAN remains in police custody after driving a lawn mower on a dual carriageway.

www.bucksfreepress.co.uk

"The mower was stopped in Bletchley and unsurprisingly the rider was very drunk."

The driver has been arrested for driving whilst unfit through drink and remains in police custody.

What a twat.

 

[petee]

I see that scum was found near twatt

Council issues warning about scum found near Twatt

Nobody wants to find scum near Twatt.

www.google.com

 

[elbows]

'Guardian angel' guided woman home from Arctic Monkeys gig in Cov

Charlotte Longmore says a 'guardian angel' helped her get home from a gig in the city

www.coventrytelegraph.net

Petition to save peacocks on 'bird arrest' in Bedworth

Following complaints police say that they have to be re-housed to a 'more suitable environment'

www.coventrytelegraph.net

 

[Orang Utan]

Duck walks into pub, drinks pint, fights dog, loses

The bird - called Star - is well known for waddling around his favourite inns

www.somersetlive.co.uk

 

[newme]

I think we have a thread winner

Behold Cornwall's utterly bonkers worm charming championships

Competitors managed to charm a staggering 260 worms out of the ground using a combination of musical instruments, garden tools, interpretive dance and utter madness

www.cornwalllive.com

Excuse me! That's been a tradition for 2 years!

 

[hash tag]

In a filed Just outside Cockfield Hall is a hazardous naked man

Naked Yoxman illumination off Suffolk A12 'hazardous' - council

Plans to illuminate a 26ft-tall bronze figure next to a major A-road is opposed by a local council.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Orang Utan]

Make your mind up, Yorkshire Evening Post! Was he assaulted by a parade of shops or by a major road?

 

[quiet guy]

Charlie gets his birthday trooping of the colour and Leeds get a parade of shops