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Government floats bonkers idea of loosening lockdown in groups of ten people

Reality is we don't know what's going to happen and that uncertainty is unbearable for many people. Of course I don't think helplines are the answer to complex and life long difficulties - I know I'm not the most prolific poster but that's not close to anything I've ever suggested is an answer for people in ordinary times, but they do offer the potential for some emotional contact and understanding in times of crisis. This is one of those times for some people and this will be helpful for some of them.

Autism charities are still running their helplines and I'm sure you can email them if you don't like phones. It's not the case that nobody understands the pressures that people are under: MH trusts nationally have been shifting to be ready for crisis work for the past 4 weeks, and have set up 24/7 helplines within the past fortnight, it's been a fast response, for everyone, not just those already in the service. There are also a lot of online resources being made available. So there is some help, it's not perfect help, there's no such thing, but something. We do have to manage with what we have, and what we can access, and what we can do ourselves without close friends and family present physically, and this is frightening, but not impossible even if it feels so right now.
 
platinumsage said:
I think it's a good idea in theory but far to complicated to implement:

"Why don't you come and see me dear, it's been 3 months I've been alone and you're allowed to see ten people now"
"Well mum, one of my flatmates is isolating but my other flatmate is seeing his sister and her husband and their baby, and you're checking up on your neighbour whose son ( who has two kids with his wife) can only visit occasionally, so that would be 12."
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While that's true, it's also true that it would work well for - for example - us.

Kids could spend time with granny, who normally plays a huge part in their lives, and it would have a hugely beneficial effect on her.

Moving forward from lock down is going to be messy, with winners and losers.
 
platinumsage said:
I think it's a good idea in theory but far to complicated to implement:

"Why don't you come and see me dear, it's been 3 months I've been alone and you're allowed to see ten people now"
"Well mum, one of my flatmates is isolating but my other flatmate is seeing his sister and her husband and their baby, and you're checking up on your neighbour whose son ( who has two kids with his wife) can only visit occasionally, so that would be 12."
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The only way this could genuinely work is via some kind of official registration - perhaps on an app. Which would be unpalatable but the only way to prevent ever-shifting overlapping groups.
 
Epona said:
It is torture for some though - if it weren't for my cats I would kill myself if my life had to go on like this indefinitely with no end in sight. I am having suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life due to this.

Perhaps we need to get to a point where if you want to stay home to protect yourself you can, but I can go out to prevent myself from opening up my wrists.

As I said before, the number of vulnerable people in this are not just those vulnerable to the virus (and everyone I love is in a high risk group, but NONE of us, not a single one, want to spend the next few years like this just in case)
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I wasn't responding to your situation @Epona.😥 And I sympathise with anyone who feels suicidal. I have been there and at one stage a couple of years ago, I took an overdose. So I know what it can be like.

I do not want to add to anyone's stress so I will just say that people with all sorts of physical and mental problems and people with none will need a lot of help after this is over.

Let's stick together and support each other and try to make sure that we all get through this together.
 
Top of my list would be my parents and a local couple / friends... But all 4 of them have had it, and not long ago enough for me to feel confident being around them.

Is there any conclusive evidence as to how long people are infectious for?
 
Clair De Lune said:
Fucking hell. This is an embarrassing lack of empathy man. Check yourself.

Epona if there's anything I can do ...private chat, phone call for some release, distraction or company let me know. You're not alone in your feelings and you are cared for.
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I'm good thanks. Why do I need to check myself for someone who clearly only cares about themselves? Someone who is pushing an agenda that is about everyone else making sure that they don't have to take any responsibility for their actions? An agenda that will put my daughter at risk?
 
bmd said:
I'm good thanks. Why do I need to check myself for someone who clearly only cares about themselves? Someone who is pushing an agenda that is about everyone else making sure that they don't have to take any responsibility for their actions? An agenda that will put my daughter at risk?
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srs bmd can you read as well as type?

eta: poster has indicated they are autistic, amongst other concerns. it's great to see you back and all but, ffs, read too.
 
The way out of my terrible mental health started with taking responsibility for the fact that it was up to me to do something about it. An ounce of my will was worth a universe of everyyone else's. I began by choosing to do something. Took a while before I left the house but a journey of a thousand miles and all that.

You know what was like an anchor on my momentum? Self-pity. The antidote was gratitude. Thinking of others once in a while helped too. My brother, basically, killed himself because of his terrible mental health. As did my cousin. My uncle drank himself to death as did my granddad. My dad, well he's a story all on his own.

My daughter has a brain injury and she is bipolar because of it. Last time she ended a relationship she was sectioned. She split with her boyfriend because of all this, a few days ago. Her mum is living with us right now because her house mate is vulnerable. She has a drug problem. First night here? Off her tits. I just celebrated a year off drugs.

I didn't get here and I don't stay here by empathy or the sympathy or good will of others. It's fucking hard work, every day. But yeah, I should be embarrassed. Fuck off eh.
 
back to mh top trumps? it sounds as though you've been through the wringer. i'm sorry for your troubles. i'm also sorry for other posters' troubles.

your way out might not apply universally, in all situations.

i don't want to stir anything with anyone, i'll back off the thread. but doing the <talking without listening> thing rarely works ime.
 
Epona said:
You have absolutely no fucking idea what I am going through, my uncle died and I can't see anyone in my family, how fucking dare you judge my emotional/psychological reaction to this?

This is the one place I hope to be able to express this shit, because I am isolated and cannot see any other fucking people in my life.

I could do without people leaping on that and being pissy about it. And trying to one-up it is utterly disgusting.
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It's rough Epona. 😥
Many of us are going through tough times. I am caring for my elderly parents. 80 and 81 years old. My mum is literally fading away in front of me. I am living with dreadful disease myself and struggling with meds. I cannot go out at all.
It is not easy and if I let my head think too far down the line I see a scenario where my mother and father will die and I will be the one to wash them and dress them for removal for burial. I know that if I survive this and my underlying conditions together that I may well be in a very bad way mentally and physically. I know I wont be able to work again ..ever ..because I work with children. I know all of this. And I could well turn to suicide at some stage. But right now...I am doing my utmost to stay positive because I have no viable realistic alternative that will not cause extreme pain to those who love me. I need to stay this way ... because I want my parents to enjoy the last of their lives. I cook meals for all of us. I plant flowers and veg and grow as much as I can on the windowsills. I help my colleagues online so that they can get to grips with software for online work. I try to be the best person I can possibly be under all these circumstances... why? Because the alternative is unthinkable. The alternative is the black hole of depression and I refuse to go down that hole again. I have been there. It took over 2 years to get out of it. And my advice for anyone feeling suicidal is to please get medical help asap.

You are needed Epona.
You are needed by people in your life and you are needed by your cats. You need to be there for them. You need to be there for yourself now too. To do this you might need to seek extra help for yourself in whatever way or means you can

X
 
bmd said:
I'm good thanks. Why do I need to check myself for someone who clearly only cares about themselves? Someone who is pushing an agenda that is about everyone else making sure that they don't have to take any responsibility for their actions? An agenda that will put my daughter at risk?
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Where do you get the idea that I only care about myself? There is only one person on this thread who is coming across as uncaring, and it isn't me mate.

Thanks to everyone else for your support and kind words, it means a lot. xx A lot of people are struggling with this, and need somewhere to have a rant and let it out without being judged for not being happy. Thank you all.
 
fwiw the best help i've ever had has been a personal connection that has never (yet) been medically provided. the kind of intangiable (sp??) connection that can't be prescribed. i work really fucking hard to be the supportive end of that connection, on occasion, and don't beat myself up when i can't, or i need to lean the other way.
 
bmd said:
The way out of my terrible mental health started with taking responsibility for the fact that it was up to me to do something about it. An ounce of my will was worth a universe of everyyone else's. I began by choosing to do something. Took a while before I left the house but a journey of a thousand miles and all that.

You know what was like an anchor on my momentum? Self-pity. The antidote was gratitude. Thinking of others once in a while helped too. My brother, basically, killed himself because of his terrible mental health. As did my cousin. My uncle drank himself to death as did my granddad. My dad, well he's a story all on his own.

My daughter has a brain injury and she is bipolar because of it. Last time she ended a relationship she was sectioned. She split with her boyfriend because of all this, a few days ago. Her mum is living with us right now because her house mate is vulnerable. She has a drug problem. First night here? Off her tits. I just celebrated a year off drugs.

I didn't get here and I don't stay here by empathy or the sympathy or good will of others. It's fucking hard work, every day. But yeah, I should be embarrassed. Fuck off eh.
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I agree with what you say about self pity and gratitude completely, but I still think your comments to epona were heartless. Just because you got out of it without help, doesn't mean everyone can...or should.
 
bmd said:
The way out of my terrible mental health started with taking responsibility for the fact that it was up to me to do something about it. An ounce of my will was worth a universe of everyyone else's. I began by choosing to do something. Took a while before I left the house but a journey of a thousand miles and all that.

You know what was like an anchor on my momentum? Self-pity. The antidote was gratitude. Thinking of others once in a while helped too. My brother, basically, killed himself because of his terrible mental health. As did my cousin. My uncle drank himself to death as did my granddad. My dad, well he's a story all on his own.

My daughter has a brain injury and she is bipolar because of it. Last time she ended a relationship she was sectioned. She split with her boyfriend because of all this, a few days ago. Her mum is living with us right now because her house mate is vulnerable. She has a drug problem. First night here? Off her tits. I just celebrated a year off drugs.
Click to expand...

None of that gives you the right to talk to people like you have here.
 
bmd said:
The way out of my terrible mental health started with taking responsibility for the fact that it was up to me to do something about it. An ounce of my will was worth a universe of everyyone else's. I began by choosing to do something. Took a while before I left the house but a journey of a thousand miles and all that.

You know what was like an anchor on my momentum? Self-pity. The antidote was gratitude. Thinking of others once in a while helped too. My brother, basically, killed himself because of his terrible mental health. As did my cousin. My uncle drank himself to death as did my granddad. My dad, well he's a story all on his own.

My daughter has a brain injury and she is bipolar because of it. Last time she ended a relationship she was sectioned. She split with her boyfriend because of all this, a few days ago. Her mum is living with us right now because her house mate is vulnerable. She has a drug problem. First night here? Off her tits. I just celebrated a year off drugs.

I didn't get here and I don't stay here by empathy or the sympathy or good will of others. It's fucking hard work, every day. But yeah, I should be embarrassed. Fuck off eh.
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Please do not carry on with this.
 
Only got to the early part of this thread yesterday.

Catching up with it today is really reminding how harrowing this horrible lock-down experience is for plenty of people :(

Reminding me too, how lucky a few of us are both in practical/money terms and in terms of having emotional support at home/on-line/around us generally.

So from someone who's mostly OK, I want to pass on what sympathy and positive vibes I can to Epona and to anyone else going through tough times.
The worst of these will pass, but I really hope improved things come your way soon!

Good luck to all :)
 
((((Epona)))) Just ignore the ignorant cunts like bmd. One thing I've found helpful is not going straight to this forum whenever I open up the browser, despite how tempting it is. I'd rather read about what games people are playing or what movies they watched anyway. :)
 
Do we have a Corona/mental wellbeing thread? ...the pandemic personal consequences one is a bit non-specific and as this situation continues I think having a specific place for the impact this is having on us psychologically would be a good idea.
 
Rutita1 said:
Do we have a Corona/mental wellbeing thread? ...the pandemic personal consequences one is a bit non-specific and as this situation continues I think having a specific place for the impact this is having on us psychologically would be a good idea.
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There is one, but if people were able to accurately manage when and where their psychological meltdowns happen, there would be far less need for it. If that makes any sense. :)
 
Epona said:
There is one, but if people were able to accurately manage when and where their psychological meltdowns happen, there would be far less need for it. If that makes any sense. :)
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I think so :hmm::D

Hope you are okay Epona...I haven't seen that thread but will look for it....this situation is knocking us all sideways in one form or another and it's good to talk about it IMO.
 
Clair De Lune said:
I agree with what you say about self pity and gratitude completely, but I still think your comments to epona were heartless. Just because you got out of it without help, doesn't mean everyone can...or should.
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The thing is (please don't ban me. I really am trying to give another pov. I know I'll catch some flack but this is a genuine post), I have been there to that country and learned its language, so I know a native when I see one. Butwhen whoever the fuck says all of that doesn't give me the right, to be a cunt to Epona they're right. I'm sorry if I upset you but I do think your stance would be murdered if not for your reason and I'll explain why I think it's not helpful to you to give you a pass. Pulling you up on it doesn't need to be like I did though, I get that. I honestly thought you were more robust than you are and were simply being selfish. We are on the COVID board. I guess it's another part of Nobbing and Sobbing? I just look at New Posts.

It's a funny thing, empathy. I think some people think it's just about rummaging about in another person's shoe cupboard, putting them on and saying to that person, "these are a bit uncomfortable! and offering them a foot rub. I don't and in my defence, I have never felt a benefit from it in terms of moving me forward. I get that there are a lot of people here who do. I get that but there is more than one pov with everything. And if you post on a public board, you're going to get them. Hopefully.

I did not do this alone, as in I was sectioned a couple of times, have a diagnosis off a couple of psychiatrists, went to challenging mh groups, had mad drugs, had sane drugs, had a good GP, had a lot of help from these very boards, my good friends etc etc. But really, I did do it alone. I do think that the way out of that terrible place is through yourself. Turning inward and going there. I do honestly believe that.

You can ban me now. :)
 
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SpookyFrank said:
Can't even find words for how much of a piece of shit you are for posting this. Jesus fucking christ.
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Warrior! :D

So, here we are, on a thread about how ridiculous it is to end lockdown and a comment from someone on Urban was reverberating through my mind. They (right wing media) are already pushing for it (lockdown) to end. I realised that that was true. I had come back here because I needed a bit of left wing nonsense around me. I was concerned that if lockdown ended then I would be either out of a job because I chose to leave it or at risk of infecting my daughter because I chose to go back. Right now? She's safe and I'm happy about that.

So here we are on a thread about how ridiculous it is to end lockdown and a comment from someone on it BONGED off that context. Surely, when people were dying every day to keep us safer, literally that, then we can all endure whatever hardships we have to endure? And surely, here, on Urban, we support that?

So I, not very nicely I admit, took that person to task.

And you? You have the self awareness of a Mayfly and that genuinely makes me laugh.
 
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